# How to, by the numbers **URL:** \ **Category:** The Game Room\ **Created:** [April 18, 2008, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891 "2008-04-18T14:35:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/161 "2008-04-28T18:37:39Z")
[QUOTE=Ponderoid] Dig escape tunnel from Arkham. Hire henchmen. Execute elaborate crime. How do I give a psychotic dog a bath? [/QUOTE] Play tape with voice saying “Take Bath”. He’ll have to. How do you survive an overlong election season? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/162 "2008-04-28T18:55:30Z")
Tune in infrequently; once a month should do it. How do you decide which movie to put at the top of your Netflix queue? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/163 "2008-04-28T18:56:42Z")
Go by dewey decimal system from lowest number to highest. How do you stop thinking about going fishing on a beautiful work day? ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/164 "2008-04-28T20:53:21Z")
[QUOTE=Oredigger77] How do you stop thinking about going fishing on a beautiful work day? [/QUOTE] By faking an illness and going fishing 😉 How do you get deal with monsters under the bed? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/165 "2008-04-28T20:55:06Z")
[QUOTE=HongKongFooey] By faking an illness and going fishing 😉 How do you get deal with monsters under the bed? [/QUOTE] Get rid of the bed; sleep on the floor. How do you lose weight without eating less and exercising more? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2008, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/166 "2008-04-28T20:55:45Z")
Acquire a parasite or two. Tapeworms are good, I hear. How do you imitate a T-Rex for a young child? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/167 "2008-04-29T01:35:30Z")
Hold hands like claws; lumber mightily; roar! How do you win at Monopoly? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/168 "2008-04-29T01:56:50Z")
[QUOTE=twickster] How do you win at Monopoly? [/QUOTE] Buy railroads. If all else fails, do your Tyrannosaur impression. How do you get out of bed in the morning? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/169 "2008-04-29T05:19:51Z")
I have a wake-up cat. Your results may vary. How do you get going in the morning? ---
**Author:** ![HongKongFooey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c4cdca/32.png) [@HongKongFooey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HongKongFooey)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/170 "2008-04-29T10:25:07Z")
[QUOTE=brujaja] How do you get going in the morning? [/QUOTE] coffee, shower, yell at kids, open eyes, more coffee How do you meditate? ---
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/171 "2008-04-29T12:25:56Z")
[QUOTE=HongKongFooey] How do you meditate? [/QUOTE] Close eyes; breathe slowly; when distractions arise, let them go. How do you remember your SO’s birthday? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/172 "2008-04-29T14:51:21Z")
Find a SO with birthday on a date you remember. How do you make reading the phonebook sound interesting? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/173 "2008-04-29T15:08:16Z")
😃 Get Alan Rickman to do it!!! 😃 How do you find a missing kitteh? ---
**Author:** ![OtakuLoki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ac8455/32.png) [@OtakuLoki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OtakuLoki)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/174 "2008-04-29T15:21:06Z")
Tell the Great Dane to “find kitteh.” Listen for yowls. How do you make the perfect cup of coffee? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/175 "2008-04-29T15:41:52Z")
[QUOTE=OtakuLoki] Tell the Great Dane to “find kitteh.” Listen for yowls. How do you make the perfect cup of coffee? [/QUOTE] Look busy, hope someone else will do it. How do you win an eBay auction? ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/176 "2008-04-29T15:52:37Z")
Hack the Ebay site and make youself the only bidder. How do you look like your working while surfing the Dope? ---
**Author:** ![brujaja](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@brujaja](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brujaja)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/177 "2008-04-29T16:36:05Z")
Frown thoughtfully. Take occasional notes. Turn around and staple something. How do you deal with a passive aggressive person? P.S. kitteh turned up yay! ---
**Author:** ![Oredigger77](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/oredigger77/32/3181_2.png) [@Oredigger77](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oredigger77)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/178 "2008-04-29T21:24:29Z")
Be more passive agressive then them or just be agressive. How do you learn where to go in a new city? ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/179 "2008-04-29T21:30:33Z")
[QUOTE=brujaja] Frown thoughtfully. Take occasional notes. Turn around and staple something. [/QUOTE] I’m at work and you’ve just blown my cover by making me laugh out loud, blow my stack of notes across the room and drop my stapler. Thanks a lot! [QUOTE=Oredigger77] How do you learn where to go in a new city? [/QUOTE] Ask same-age workmates. They know you’re a partier now anyways. How do you find a blue disposable contact lens in a blue bathroom (they fold up)? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2008, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891/180 "2008-04-29T21:33:03Z")
[QUOTE=Oredigger77] Be more passive agressive then them or just be agressive. How do you learn where to go in a new city? [/QUOTE] Google, Mapquest & Start a New Thread! How do you explain to someone what The Straight Dope is exactly? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-by-the-numbers/445891.md?page=10)