# How to cause maximum irritation for credit card companies **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 16, 2009, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980 "2009-10-16T02:18:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Slant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c57346/32.png) [@Mr.Slant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Slant)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/21 "2009-10-16T16:09:37Z")
Go to a people search company. Waste some money. Find out the CEO’s name, phone number, names of family members and home address. Find out the names, employers, schools, phone numbers and home addresses of all the located family members. Put all the information you garnered on a sheet of paper. “Hi. I found this info on the Internet. Please stop sending me junk mail.” Separately, put in the original mail. Send to CEO’s home address. It’ll probably get forwarded to corporate security, and waste a whole bunch of time. In fact, make a copy. Send to corporate security. Not quite illegal, but creepy as hell. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/22 "2009-10-16T16:32:59Z")
> [@Mr.Duality](#): > > I am really peeved at the credit card offers I get in the mail. If one of them falls into the wrong hands it could result in identity theft, so I have to shred them. That may not work. I read somewhere (sorry, no cite) that one guy shredded his application, taped it back together, filled it out with his work address (different from his home address) and sent it in. His credit card was approved. I suggest burning the sucker, then sending back the ashes. ---
**Author:** ![iamthewalrus\_3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/258eb7/32.png) [@iamthewalrus\_3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iamthewalrus_3)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/23 "2009-10-16T17:32:12Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Adding to this, why not start screwing with them (if you have the patience) halfway complete the forms, but send back incomplete or inaccurate info, wrong forms or whatever - let them spend money and waste time setting it right while you never quite sign on the dotted line Spoken like someone who’s never had incorrect information about him floating around in some damned credit database _forever_, causing all manner of Kafka-esque bureaucratic absurdity. ---
**Author:** ![butler1850](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/779978/32.png) [@butler1850](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butler1850)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/24 "2009-10-16T17:35:24Z")
**Ivylass,** [http://www.cockeyed.com](http://www.cockeyed.com) I love that site. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/25 "2009-10-16T17:40:50Z")
> [@butler1850](#): > > **Ivylass,** [http://www.cockeyed.com](http://www.cockeyed.com) > > I love that site. Looks interesting…am I looking at anything in particular? ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/26 "2009-10-16T17:41:35Z")
From the Cecil column linked above: > [@](#): > > Incidentally, Win, of the 161,000 people who wrote to the DMA last year, 116,000 wanted more junk mail. They were sent a booklet entitled “How To Get More Interesting Mail” (as God is my witness, I am not making this up), which tells you various key catalogs that you can send for to guarantee you’ll be deluged with stuff. Just in case you have a change of heart. I can’t help wondering if these people have wood stoves. . . ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/27 "2009-10-16T17:42:41Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > Looks interesting…am I looking at anything in particular? > **[The Torn-Up Credit Card Application](https://www.cockeyed.com/citizen/creditcard/application.shtml)** ---
**Author:** ![Jorge\_Burrito](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Jorge\_Burrito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jorge_Burrito)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/28 "2009-10-16T17:51:35Z")
Going to [https://www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t](https://www.optoutprescreen.com/?rf=t) and opting out will drastically reduce the amount of credit card offers you get. I believe credit card companies that you have a current relationship with can still send you offers, but this will get rid of everyone else. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/29 "2009-10-16T17:59:50Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > From the Cecil column linked above: > > > [@](#): > > > > Incidentally, Win, of the 161,000 people who wrote to the DMA last year, 116,000 wanted more junk mail. They were sent a booklet entitled “How To Get More Interesting Mail” (as God is my witness, I am not making this up), which tells you various key catalogs that you can send for to guarantee you’ll be deluged with stuff. Just in case you have a change of heart. > > I can’t help wondering if these people have wood stoves. . . There are a lot of lonely people out there. Some of them may welcome even junk mail as an alternative to not getting anything. (My mother was a directory assistance operator for years, and she used to tell me sad stories about people who called them on holidays like Christmas just to have someone to talk to.) ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/30 "2009-10-16T18:03:47Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > I can’t help wondering if these people have wood stoves. . . Or have root cellars that need insulating. An easier way of messing with the drones is to swap the inserts between companies. Send the blank MasterCard form to Sears, and vice versa. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/31 "2009-10-16T18:20:31Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > Or have root cellars that need insulating. > > An easier way of messing with the drones is to swap the inserts between companies. Send the blank MasterCard form to Sears, and vice versa. I’ve been sending them thread reports from a certain poster or midget porn, depending on which is more readily available at the moment. ---
**Author:** ![Canadjun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/76d3ee/32.png) [@Canadjun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Canadjun)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/32 "2009-10-16T19:39:59Z")
Seems to me the credit card companies keep sending the offers out for the same reason spammers send spam; enough people respond affirmatively that what they gain far exceeds what it costs them, including any marginal extra cost for dealing with the occasional “surprise”. In other words, although I have no cite I really don’t believe any amount of shredded paper, other junk in the envelope, etc. will stop them from doing it; the only thing it will do is make you feel good. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/33 "2009-10-16T21:42:41Z")
In [**Prank The Monkey**](http://www.amazon.com/Prank-Monkey-ZUG-Book-Pranks/dp/0806527803/), the book of pranks by the guy who runs [ZUG](http://www.zug.com), he tests to see whether mail gets delivered with “supplements” by enclosing, say, a check with a small donation to his college’s alumni association. The checks did get cashed, so they apparently did get where they were meant to go. As I recall, he started with a length of steel chain, upped the ante with lead roof flashing (almost two pounds), and finally enclosed a solid lead bar (over 5 pounds). They all got delivered. ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/34 "2009-10-16T22:18:16Z")
You know, the US Postal Service, bless its heart, permits the mailing of live chickens and road kill. [600 Basic Standards for All Mailing Services | Postal Explorer](http://pe.usps.gov/text/DMM300/601.htm#wp1140004) Just sent it along with a nice cover letter: “Thank you very much for your kind offer of the steak knives with completion of a credit applicaton. Unfortunately, I am not permitted to keep knives, so I must decline your kind gift. Please accept my gift to you which is enclosed herein.” ---
**Author:** ![TreacherousCretin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/treacherouscretin/32/476_2.png) [@TreacherousCretin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TreacherousCretin)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2009, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/35 "2009-10-16T22:52:29Z")
> [@KneadToKnow](#): > > Seconded. And when _I_ think something’s juvenile? Dude, it’s way juvenile. Oh. ---
**Author:** ![Stan\_Shmenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/94ad74/32.png) [@Stan\_Shmenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stan_Shmenge)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/36 "2009-10-17T05:08:58Z")
> [@Joey\_P](#): > > Relevant Cecil Article > [Can I mail a brick back to a junk-mail firm using the business reply envelope? - The Straight Dope](http://www.straightdope.com/columns/read/566/can-i-mail-a-brick-back-to-a-junk-mail-firm-using-the-business-reply-envelope) Heh. My Dad sent in that question. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/37 "2009-10-17T06:27:57Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > Your not irritating the sender of the junk mail at all, you are pissing off a minimum wage clearing house employee that likely doesn’t even work for the offending bank. Yep, the top brass aren’t only not \*irritated \*by this, they don’t even \*hear \*about it. ---
**Author:** ![Chez\_Guevara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/aeb1de/32.png) [@Chez\_Guevara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chez_Guevara)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 10:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/38 "2009-10-17T10:53:59Z")
> [@Canadjun](#): > > In other words, although I have no cite I really don’t believe any amount of shredded paper, other junk in the envelope, etc. will stop them from doing it; the only thing it will do is make you feel good. If you want to feel really good, cross-shred your junk mail, mix it 50-50 with cat litter, and watch the animal treat the stuff with the respect it deserves. ---
**Author:** ![Turek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/turek/32/18782_2.png) [@Turek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Turek)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/39 "2009-10-17T11:25:56Z")
> [@racer72](#): > > Your not irritating the sender of the junk mail at all, you are pissing off a minimum wage clearing house employee that likely doesn’t even work for the offending bank. Rather juvenile and unwarranted in my book. I think of it this the same way I think about giving telemarketers hell when they call, to wit: I’m making the peon’s work life slightly worse. If enough people do it, his work life will be a lot worse. If his work life is really bad, he’ll quit. If he quits, the company will have to hire and train someone to replace him, costing them money and reducing their bottom line. If enough people do this, employee turnover and the difficulty hiring new people (because the job sucks balls) will eat into the company’s profit so much they’ll go out of business or at least discontinue the practice. In other words, if you work for a company that does things people hate, don’t be surprised when they react negatively. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Torque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Max\_Torque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Torque)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2009, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980/40 "2009-10-17T14:35:17Z")
> [@Turek](#): > > I think of it this the same way I think about giving telemarketers hell when they call, to wit: > > I’m making the peon’s work life slightly worse. > > If enough people do it, his work life will be a lot worse. > > If his work life is really bad, he’ll quit. > > If he quits, the company will have to hire and train someone to replace him, costing them money and reducing their bottom line. > > If enough people do this, employee turnover and the difficulty hiring new people (because the job sucks balls) will eat into the company’s profit so much they’ll go out of business or at least discontinue the practice. > > In other words, if you work for a company that does things people hate, don’t be surprised when they react negatively. Telemarketers are a whole 'nother animal. The way I see it: the more of his time I waste, the less time he has to call someone else and possibly make a sale. And the only way telemarketing will ever stop is when it becomes unprofitable. Therefore, it is my sacred duty to waste the telemarketer’s time, because it hits the company right in the profits. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-cause-maximum-irritation-for-credit-card-companies/513980.md?page=3)