# How to deal the the Iraqis. A brilliant idea, if I do say so! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 25, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155 "2003-04-25T17:48:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/1 "2003-04-25T17:48:19Z")
Looting. Demonstrations. General milling around. Heres what we do: Get that damn power restored toot-sweet! (yeah, I know thats spelled wrong! I did it on purpose!) Start distributing cheapo TV sets. Build the most powerful TV station on the hemisphere in downtown Baghdad and start broadcasting American TV. Nothing but “Friends” and “Fraser” and “Sienfield” marathons! Whole channels devoted to Monster Trucks and Swamp Buggies (in other words, TNN)! Get MTV goin’ and VH1 and all them other “music” channels, too. Anna Nicole, Anna Nicole, Anna Nicole and Bobby Trendy, too! Pretty soon, looting with drop to zero and there won’t be a hint of protests or demonstrations. These people will be glued to the set like the sheep we are! “Death to America” chants will be replaced with “SpongeBob, SpongeBob!”. “Ohhh, I’d really _like_ to go evict the infidels from our land, but…I \* really gotta see who gets kicked off ‘Americal Idol’! \*” (scurry, scurry) Yes, soon they will all see things our way…We’re here to help you! 😃 * * * Fagjunk Theology: Not just for sodomite propagandists anymore. ---
**Author:** ![medstar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@medstar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/medstar)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2003, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/2 "2003-04-25T23:41:40Z")
Isn’t there a clause in the Geneva convention about “cruel and unusual punishment”? Sounds like a great idea, otherwise. ---
**Author:** ![MrTuffPaws](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@MrTuffPaws](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrTuffPaws)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/3 "2003-04-26T00:18:18Z")
Geeze, gatopescado. You are a horrid man. Nuking them would have been more kind. ---
**Author:** ![Early\_Out](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Early\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Early_Out)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/4 "2003-04-26T04:51:54Z")
I think you’re definitely on to something, here, **gatopescado**! Give them a bunch of crappy, but weirdly irresistible American TV glurge, and suddenly the prospect of marching to the mosque while beating themselves bloody won’t seem so appealing! ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/5 "2003-04-26T05:19:34Z")
I hate to throw water on your great idea, but someone beat you to it. After watching a couple of years of satellite TV out here I can say it mostly consists of that now. We have Baywatch, Baywatch Hawaii, every sitcom that lasted about 2 episodes back in North America, wrestling (WWE and TnA, some dubbed into Arabic, really hilarious), a music station with some of the best looking Arab babes you can imagine (you wonder why they hide them in those burkha thingies? If they look like some of these women I can understand why they want to hide them from us), some local soaps that are about as violent as you can imagine. Guys on horses graphically lopping people’s heads off and stuff. I don’t watch those for long (not speaking arabic makes it stale pretty quick). Simpsons, Friends, Fraser, Drew Carey, The Oblongs, CNN, MSNBC, Enterprise (can you really believe the opening song on this festering pile?!), it’s all here now. Probably the main reason they hate us so much.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/6 "2003-04-26T05:51:24Z")
You forgot porn. Give them lots and lots of porn. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/7 "2003-04-26T14:28:32Z")
Moving this brilliant idea to MPSIMS. ---
**Author:** ![js\_africanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/87869e/32.png) [@js\_africanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/js_africanus)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/8 "2003-04-26T19:40:08Z")
Seriously: Nature documentaries. Like that big one the Discovery channel had on a little while back, The Blue Planet or something like that. Good family-friendly programming, beautiful imagery, no politics. Help everyone relax just a little bit. Though, I’m not opposed to a little “general milling around”. ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2003, 11:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/9 "2003-04-26T23:54:18Z")
I have decided to play Operation Desert Storm on the PS2 now to do my part. It looks just like a desert & it takes place in Iraq & they talk about Syria & Kuwait in the game. Great time to play it. Sorry, gatopescado, no tv installation services in the game. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/10 "2003-04-27T01:12:59Z")
I second the porn idea. ---
**Author:** ![Uzi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/91b2a8/32.png) [@Uzi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Uzi)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2003, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/11 "2003-04-27T03:11:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by js\_africanus \* > \*\*Seriously: Nature documentaries. Like that big one the Discovery channel had on a little while back, The Blue Planet or something like that. Good family-friendly programming, beautiful imagery, no politics. Help everyone relax just a little bit. Though, I’m not opposed to a little “general milling around”. \*\* Yep, we have Discovery and the National Geographic Channel, too. No porn, though. People’s heads lopped off is okay, naked jubblies aren’t. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-the-the-iraqis-a-brilliant-idea-if-i-do-say-so/171155/12 "2003-04-28T15:40:00Z")
Well, the porn goes without saying…😃 * * * Never kiss an animal that licks it’s own butt.