# How to deal with cops. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 15, 2005, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106 "2005-11-15T03:09:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/21 "2005-11-15T13:19:18Z")
> [@Little Nemo](#): > > And remember, don’t panic. If the officer asks you, “Do you know why I stopped you?” don’t assume the correct answer to give is “Because I killed all those prostitutes?” Of course the proper answer to, “Do you know why I stopped you?” is, “It’s quota time.” ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/22 "2005-11-15T13:31:21Z")
I’ve always used humor. Once, when I was driving my Festiva, I was pulled over and asked, " Do you know how fast you were going?" “I got up to 60 with wind pushing me down hill! That’s a record for this little thing!” (Actually 90 was, but …) It also helps that I was hot at the time. …not like I am now. _cough_ " Your liscense plate light is out." " You can see that through all the dirt? You’re good." ( I live on dirt roads.) ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/23 "2005-11-15T14:46:17Z")
I got pulled over once because my reverse lights were on while I was moving forward.[/truth] If I hadn’t been drunk I would have thought to offer him a beer and told him to just knock them out with his baton.[/false] Because that is all I did when I got where I was going.[/truth] ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/24 "2005-11-15T15:19:47Z")
Flashing your boobs is always a good idea. Even works with man boobs. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/25 "2005-11-15T15:26:23Z")
Make sure you give the cop a good sob story about your life: past, present and future. Cops are civil servants and will go easy on you if they feel sorry for you. ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/26 "2005-11-15T15:27:56Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > Flashing your boobs is always a good idea. Even works with man boobs. Maaaaaan booooooobies… :eek: ---
**Author:** ![TJVM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b38774/32.png) [@TJVM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TJVM)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/27 "2005-11-15T17:00:31Z")
Based on some advice from Jack Handey, I keep a chocolate revolver in the car, and always offer the police officer a bite. Everyone feels better with a little something in their stomach. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/28 "2005-11-15T17:12:10Z")
“These aren’t the droids you want.” Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/29 "2005-11-15T17:17:53Z")
Push the [Trunk Monkey](http://www.trunkmonkey.com/content/view/41/51/) button. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/30 "2005-11-15T17:35:16Z")
If a state trooper pulls you over, offer to buy a ticket to the state policemen’s ball. The trooper will answer, “State policemen don’t have balls!” Then, when he realizes what he said, he will be so embarrassed that he will let you go. It’s true! I read it in the “Big Book of Urban Legends.” They wouldn’t lie about something that important would they? ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9fc29f/32.png) [@Dead\_Cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Cat)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/31 "2005-11-15T17:58:52Z")
Some cops don’t realise how unreasonable they are being. So if you’re pulled for going just a few miles over the limit, a comment such as “Oh, I suppose you never speed,” delivered in a sufficiently sarcastic tone, may get you off the hook. Genius thread! ---
**Author:** ![Daithi\_Lacha](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/daithi_lacha/32/5430_2.png) [@Daithi\_Lacha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Daithi_Lacha)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/32 "2005-11-15T18:09:37Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > “These aren’t the droids you want.” > > Regards, > Shodan I guy I knew in college actually did this. Rather inebriated, but this is before they cracked down on DWIs in Georgia. Fortunately, the officer was a Star Wars fan and let him go with a warning! ---
**Author:** ![kelly5078](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/6f9a4e/32.png) [@kelly5078](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kelly5078)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/33 "2005-11-15T18:09:48Z")
Cops like a good sense of humor. After hours in a cruiser, a good joke is often a welcome ice breaker. For example, this really happened to a friend. A cop in Georgia pulled him over. He said, “You were going 80 miles per hour. Nobody goes through Georgia at 80 miles per hour.” It was pretty tense, but then someone in the back seat piped up with, “Sherman did!” Madcap hilarity ensued. ---
**Author:** ![Neurotik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/91b2a8/32.png) [@Neurotik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Neurotik)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/34 "2005-11-15T18:16:22Z")
> [@Tapioca Dextrin](#): > > Even works with man boobs. [Peter Griffing]Aw, crap. I get the one straight cop in Rhode Island.[/Peter Griffin] ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/35 "2005-11-15T18:16:57Z")
When the cop comes over to the car, politley but firmly point out that you pay his salary with your tax dollars. Then list off the names of any politicians you have met or heard of point out that you could have his job if you wanted to. Cops sometimes lose perspective that they are really just civil servants serving at the priviledge of the common man. After he appologizes, console him and let him know that you think is his still a good cop. ---
**Author:** ![Doctor\_Jackson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doctor_jackson/32/32_2.png) [@Doctor\_Jackson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Jackson)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/36 "2005-11-15T18:28:59Z")
Pull over immediately, but do not turn off your engine. When the cop steps out of his car, gun your engine and move up a few feet. When he jumps back in his cruiser, stop your car. Repeat 2-3 times or until the cop shoots out your tires. They love an opportunity to show off their marksmanship. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/37 "2005-11-15T18:32:23Z")
Have your friend riding shotgun suddenly jump out and run into the woods carrying a brown paper bag. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/38 "2005-11-15T18:55:31Z")
Carry a severed head with you at all times. _nods sagely_ ---
**Author:** ![bdgr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/a87d85/32.png) [@bdgr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bdgr)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/39 "2005-11-15T19:06:14Z")
When you go to hand him your license, drop it out the window. When he bends over to pick it up, start rumaging around under your seat. ---
**Author:** ![Ghanima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Ghanima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ghanima)\ **Post date:** [November 15, 2005, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106/40 "2005-11-15T19:10:27Z")
I once got out of a speeding ticket when I was in high school by explaining that we were trying not to be late for class because we had all gotten in trouble for coming in late from lunch before, and _that’s_ why I was going 85 mph. It actually worked, he let us go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-cops/331106.md?page=3)