# How to deal with out of proportion reactions **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 14, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929 "2013-03-14T16:32:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/21 "2013-03-15T01:29:42Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > **Cheese** I live in a 1 BR and am alone for 22 hours a day. Really? I thought you had roommates? ---
**Author:** ![etv78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@etv78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/etv78)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/22 "2013-03-15T07:21:13Z")
> [@aceplace57](#): > > My parents sometimes did things at my house that I didn’t expect. My dad liked to prune bushes. Way to much. He killed a few at his house. I came home and found mine cut way, way back. I swallowed hard, smiled and thanked him. Mom sometimes cleaned while I was at work. Tucking things away that I didn’t find again for weeks. > > It’s all part of being in a family. It’s not worth complaining and raising a fuss. imho I never wanted to deliberately hurt my parents feelings. Especially if they were trying to do something nice and had the best of intentions. > > My bushes grew back within a year. I found my stuff that mom tucked away. I rather enjoy time with family then get into arguments. YMMV **ace** -You’re probably right. This thread belonged in th Pit anyway. The atitude here when I talk about my parents is not unlike _their_ attitude: I’m not allowed to have a negative feeling about them, because God forbid they upset me. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/23 "2013-03-15T13:24:41Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > The atitude here when I talk about my parents is not unlike _their_ attitude: I’m not allowed to have a negative feeling about them, because God forbid they upset me. Well, it seems as if you have a few options: 1. Find a different board where people will always agree with you. 2. Take some responsibility for your actions. Take your pick. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 2:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/24 "2013-03-15T14:02:32Z")
> [@etv78](#): > > **ace** -You’re probably right. This thread belonged in th Pit anyway. The atitude here when I talk about my parents is not unlike _their_ attitude: I’m not allowed to have a negative feeling about them, because God forbid they upset me. Your parents may have been total shits for all we know, but there is anger and then there is _holyshitOMG anger._ You seem to be suffering from the latter. Like unless your Dad ran over you with a car, I’m not sure how you not working is their fault. It sounds like you actually believe they are responsible for every bad thing in your life, and that’s not healthy. I’m saying that as someone who had a really fucked up childhood. At some point I had to say, ‘‘Damn, that sucked,’’ and get on with life. ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/25 "2013-03-15T14:34:32Z")
> [@Ambivalid](#): > > Really? I thought you had roommates? At least you didn’t ask how his book was coming along. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/26 "2013-03-15T14:37:29Z")
I think you and your parents should break up, doesn’t sound like a healthy relationship. Put a couple states between you and you’ll be happier. ---
**Author:** ![phouka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c5a1d2/32.png) [@phouka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phouka)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/27 "2013-03-15T19:40:17Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Your parents may have been total shits for all we know, but there is anger and then there is _holyshitOMG anger._ You seem to be suffering from the latter. Like unless your Dad ran over you with a car, I’m not sure how you not working is their fault. It sounds like you actually believe they are responsible for every bad thing in your life, and that’s not healthy. I’m saying that as someone who had a really fucked up childhood. At some point I had to say, ‘‘Damn, that sucked,’’ and get on with life. I don’t remember the whole thing, but there’s a joke that ends with “I meant to say ‘please pass the salt’, but what came out was ‘YOU FUCKING WHORE, YOU RUINED MY LIFE!’” It seems . . . relevant. ---
**Author:** ![Minnie\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Minnie\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minnie_Luna)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/28 "2013-03-15T19:49:35Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Your parents may have been total shits for all we know, but there is anger and then there is _holyshitOMG anger._ You seem to be suffering from the latter. Like unless your Dad ran over you with a car, I’m not sure how you not working is their fault. It sounds like you actually believe they are responsible for every bad thing in your life, and that’s not healthy. I’m saying that as someone who had a really fucked up childhood. At some point I had to say, ‘‘Damn, that sucked,’’ and get on with life. This. I grew up with narcissistic parents. I’d be lying if I said I don’t kinda blame my mom for _some_ of my dysfunction, but I also have to take responsibility for what happens from here on out. I’m not a child. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2013, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/29 "2013-03-15T21:02:37Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > At least you didn’t ask how his book was coming along. 😃 Or how he’s getting on back at college. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/30 "2013-03-16T01:57:19Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Your parents may have been total shits for all we know, but there is anger and then there is _holyshitOMG anger._ You seem to be suffering from the latter. Like unless your Dad ran over you with a car, I’m not sure how you not working is their fault. It sounds like you actually believe they are responsible for every bad thing in your life, and that’s not healthy. I’m saying that as someone who had a really fucked up childhood. At some point I had to say, ‘‘Damn, that sucked,’’ and get on with life. I heard something about that once that really stuck with me; she was talking about how your parents did the best they could with what they were working with. No one’s parents (well, except for the children of psychopaths) woke up in the morning and said to themselves, “How can I screw up my child’s life today?” That sort of slammed my less-than-stellar father into perspective - I truly believe he did the best he could, and since he was a flawed human being (just like I am), his best wasn’t perfect, but the intention was never to ruin my life. ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929/31 "2013-03-16T13:59:15Z")
> [@Bob Ducca](#): > > At least you didn’t ask how his book was coming along. 😃 Don’t mention the WAR! I slipped and brought it up once, but I think I got away with it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-deal-with-out-of-proportion-reactions/652929.md?page=1)