# How to decide who "wins" a fistfight? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 6, 2014, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500 "2014-07-06T21:53:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 6\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500/21 "2014-07-07T07:21:57Z")
I remember a scene from stupid angsty teen drama show… Party A threw a basketball at party B…he got detention Party B got lots of attention from girls…then a little later got caught “relieving pressure” in showers by the coach and got detention… Party A was physical victor - party B got the better deal…until he got caught Both ended up losing ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500/22 "2014-07-07T07:51:23Z")
For an entertaining lesson in wisdom of fist fights, hie thee to YouTube and listen to [The Winner](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRWlnv0_svU), written by Shel Silverstein, performed by Bobby Bare, 1984 C/W classic. A fun listen. ETA: Or, just read [the lyrics.](http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/bobbybare/winner.html) ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500/23 "2014-07-07T12:56:56Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > If they are both adults, and they are in a fistfight, they are both already losers. > [@Clothahump](#): > > This, +10. I’ll make a correction to this. My +10 stands if it is mutually agreed combat. However, if Jones attacks Smith and Smith is merely defending himself, then Jones is a loser. Smith wins if he can either defuse the fight or escape to a place of safety. ---
**Author:** ![desertmonk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/898d66/32.png) [@desertmonk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/desertmonk)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500/24 "2014-07-07T14:18:03Z")
Well, no matter what, I think that both parties will claim victory even if there is an obvious winner (“he sucker punched me”, that sort of thing) ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ebca7d/32.png) [@The\_Mask\_behind\_the\_Mask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mask_behind_the_Mask)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500/25 "2014-07-07T18:55:20Z")
If you get killed, fall unconscious, become incapacitated, or submit, you lose. The other fighter wins. If none of the above happens, there is no winner. Any judgment based on performance during the fight is subjective. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 7, 2014, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500/26 "2014-07-07T19:18:23Z")
[QUOTE=Sattua] How to decide who “wins” a fistfight? Soooo… suppose two guys get into a fist fight in order to determine which one will come out the winner. I don’t care about why–whatever reason you want. But it’s bare fists, no weapons, no particular fighting style, and pretty much spontaneous so the rules have to be decided on the spot. What would you think the “rules” are, and how would you determine who “wins”? [/QUOTE] If someone wants to get into a fight like the above with me, then they win - I shrug my shoulders and walk away. If he wants to press the issue after that - well, I didn’t agree to any rules. And the “winner” is the one who gets away unhurt. If that’s both of us, so much the better. If it can only be one of us, then I will do what I can to see that it isn’t him. Regards, Shodan [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-decide-who-wins-a-fistfight/692500.md?page=1)