# How to dispose of a porn stash? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 31, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673 "2007-10-31T04:00:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/1 "2007-10-31T04:00:39Z")
A recent thread talked about people having a “porn buddy”, who disclose to one another the locations and extent of their porn collections (printed or electronic) and make a pact to go over and silently remove evidence of their buddy’s stash if that buddy suddenly dies or becomes incapacitated (before their wife, parents or whoever can find it and have an :eek: 😕 :o type of reaction). That sounds good in theory, but while talking about this concept with a friend of mine (just in theory mind you ;)) it became clear that it may not be so easy in practice. Let’s say you are a designated pr0nBuDi whose duties are invoked, and you hie on over to your friend’s house and clear the stuff into a box and get out the back door just ahead of his wife getting back from the hospital. So there you are with a big cardboard box full of stuff, ranging from glossy mags from the late 1970s to VHS tapes to a bunch of CDs and DVDs. They still have the original garish labels and boxes they came in. So what do you do with it? Put it in a black trash bag and leave it out on the street? What if the bag rips open as they toss it onto the truck? Do you put it out with HIS trash, or YOUR trash? You can’t just “drop it in the river”, the stuff is gonna float and you might well be seen. Dump it into a random dumpster behind a McDonald’s somewhere? ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/2 "2007-10-31T04:02:10Z")
I’d file it neatly alongside mine. ---
**Author:** ![Carson\_O\_Genic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/cdc98d/32.png) [@Carson\_O\_Genic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carson_O_Genic)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/3 "2007-10-31T04:03:37Z")
Wherever you leave it,it will be gone in minutes. ---
**Author:** ![Yag\_Rannavach](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/858c86/32.png) [@Yag\_Rannavach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yag_Rannavach)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/4 "2007-10-31T04:06:05Z")
[QUOTE=Carson O’Genic] Wherever you leave it,it will be gone in minutes. [/QUOTE] Take it downtown and hand it to a bum. I’m sure they’ll be able to dispose of it for you. ---
**Author:** ![Ruby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/13edae/32.png) [@Ruby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ruby)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/5 "2007-10-31T04:06:47Z")
Duh. You add it to your porn stash. So when you croak, your PornBuddy collects your stash and adds it to his. And so on. The last guy on earth will have a metric shit-ton of the stuff to watch. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/6 "2007-10-31T04:10:47Z")
You send it to an official porn-disposal depot. Let me email the address to you. ---
**Author:** ![bbs2k](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e495f1/32.png) [@bbs2k](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bbs2k)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/7 "2007-10-31T04:14:30Z")
Put it in the woods somewhere. Some kids will happen upon while playing in there and be eternally grateful. Lord knows I was. ---
**Author:** ![Omniscient](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omniscient/32/3290_2.png) [@Omniscient](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omniscient)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/8 "2007-10-31T04:21:12Z")
[QUOTE=bbs2k] Put it in the woods somewhere. Some kids will happen upon while playing in there and be eternally grateful. Lord knows I was. [/QUOTE] Karma dictates that I should do something along these lines one day… ---
**Author:** ![Random](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/57b2e6/32.png) [@Random](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Random)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/9 "2007-10-31T04:25:58Z")
Me, too. But then, kids today have the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Hockey\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hockey\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hockey_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/10 "2007-10-31T04:30:06Z")
I can take care of disposal for you. Just call me. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Amblydoper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Amblydoper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amblydoper)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/11 "2007-10-31T04:37:26Z")
[QUOTE=bbs2k] Put it in the woods somewhere. Some kids will happen upon while playing in there and be eternally grateful. Lord knows I was. [/QUOTE] Seconded! I was so stoked to find a torn out page of a playboy in a ball field dugout as a kid. I would have pissed myself if I found a box full of magazines and videos! ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/12 "2007-10-31T04:43:09Z")
Step 1 : Take it into a desert. Preferably at night, for the extra drama. Step 2 : Put it in a heap in a bare area. Step 3 : Strap on a flamethrower and some semi-cultish looking robes. Step 4 : Bellow “You must be cleansed . . . with FIRE ! !” Step 5 : Commence the cleansing ! ---
**Author:** ![Charger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df788c/32.png) [@Charger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Charger)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/13 "2007-10-31T05:05:44Z")
Not in, but next to a dumpster behind a church. Open the box, toss a few on the ground nearby, and run. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/14 "2007-10-31T05:12:13Z")
Ebay. ---
**Author:** ![WoodenTaco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/45deac/32.png) [@WoodenTaco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WoodenTaco)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 5:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/15 "2007-10-31T05:35:59Z")
Is this really a difficult question? How to get rid of a lifetime supply of porn? ---
**Author:** ![The\_Controvert](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/dec6dc/32.png) [@The\_Controvert](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Controvert)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/16 "2007-10-31T07:36:24Z")
Put it behind a [loose brick](http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF220-Passed_On.jpg#205) of your fireplace. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/17 "2007-10-31T07:48:02Z")
[QUOTE=CoG888] I would have pissed myself if I found a box full of magazines and videos! [/QUOTE] That ain’t piss. ---
**Author:** ![tonedef](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f05b48/32.png) [@tonedef](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tonedef)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 7:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/18 "2007-10-31T07:58:40Z")
Why do you all want to destroy it? I’m thinking of leaving mine to some mates in my will! BTW, this has given me a business idea, to start a company up where you can register with them and tell them where your porn is and they put me down as your main contacts incase of an emergency so if they die i can go collect all there porn and no one is the wiser that they had any! I would make a fortune + i end up with a shitload of porn! ---
**Author:** ![Chrismoody](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f6c823/32.png) [@Chrismoody](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chrismoody)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 9:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/19 "2007-10-31T09:14:37Z")
Mail it to a random business you find online. Give the return address as an annoying person you know. Obviously the receiving party wouldn’t actually believe the “sender” was the actual sender, but it would provide for an interesting phone call. Reminds me of filling out forms for those free condom samples to the nun principal at the catholic high school I went to… No actual harm done… just annoyance and the knowledge that someone is confused. ---
**Author:** ![Grossbottom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ba8739/32.png) [@Grossbottom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grossbottom)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2007, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673/20 "2007-10-31T12:51:37Z")
[QUOTE=robardin] Dump it into a random dumpster behind a McDonald’s somewhere? [/QUOTE] This is pretty much my plan for everything, I’m a particular fan of the dumpster behind a local hot dog place. Smells like hell but it’s an easy spot with quick escape routes. So, here’s a porn disposal story. When I was getting ready to leave for college I had an improbably large collection of porn mags and decided to ditch them in the time-honored manner. So I piled them all into a laundry sack and in the dead of night lugged it out to my car and tossed the sack onto the floor of the passenger seat. I figured I’d just do the dump the next day. The next day I go out and the sack is gone. I think I left the door open. I was staying alone in the house at the time, so it was no one from the family. A neighbor who was watching me maybe? The sack certainly wasn’t easily visible from outside the car. To this day, I have no idea who or what made off with approximately 30 pounds of pornographic magazines, but I hope they had fun. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-dispose-of-a-porn-stash/424673.md?page=2)