# How to eat a Malteaser **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 5, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247 "2005-09-05T21:56:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/1 "2005-09-05T21:56:47Z")
Step 1: Bite a small hole in the chocolate. Step 2: Suck all the air in the malteaser out through this hole, creating a vacuum inside. Step 3: Release the pressure, allowing the saliva in your mouth to be sucked into the malteaser, melting the honeycomb within. Step 4: Eat. Delicious. Gross, but delicious. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/2 "2005-09-05T22:01:51Z")
I suck it and suck it until it melts. First the chocolate, then the malted inside. ---
**Author:** ![Lobsang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lobsang/32/4067_2.png) [@Lobsang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lobsang)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/3 "2005-09-05T22:07:50Z")
How to eat a malteaser… …With company… lots and lots of company. Shove em in. ---
**Author:** ![bubastis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/d07c76/32.png) [@bubastis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bubastis)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/4 "2005-09-05T22:23:14Z")
Got anything else that tastes amazing only when eaten in an offputting manner? I had a friend who couldnt eat Starburst unless he squashed then between finger and thumb first: we thought this was vile, but he said they tasted better that way. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Scrivener](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@The\_Scrivener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Scrivener)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2005, 11:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/5 "2005-09-05T23:30:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Step 3: Release the pressure, allowing the saliva in your mouth to be sucked into the malteaser, melting the honeycomb within. > Step 4: Eat. Okay, children: you’re probably wondering, _how does Brundlefly eat?.._ ---
**Author:** ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/6 "2005-09-06T00:18:23Z")
> [@bubastis](#): > > Got anything else that tastes amazing only when eaten in an offputting manner? [Tim Tams](http://www.arnotts.com/Biscuits/OurBiscuitsP.asp?BID=79) and the Tim Tam suck. You nibble a little bit off the opposite corners of the Tim Tam biscuit and then dip it into a cup of coffee and suck the coffee through the biscuit. Then you eat the melting Tim Tam. Yummmo! ---
**Author:** ![SnakesCatLady](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4af34b/32.png) [@SnakesCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SnakesCatLady)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/7 "2005-09-06T00:47:06Z")
Showing my ignorance **again** - what is a Malteaser? ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/8 "2005-09-06T01:21:19Z")
> [@Snakescatlady](#): > > Showing my ignorance **again** - what is a Malteaser? I think they’re like what we call “Whoppers” around here… ---
**Author:** ![Scott\_Plaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Scott\_Plaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scott_Plaid)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/9 "2005-09-06T01:28:07Z")
Hey! What the heck are you doing over there? Come back [home](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=333326). 😛 ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/10 "2005-09-06T01:40:23Z")
> [@ivylass](#): > > I suck it and suck it until it melts. First the chocolate, then the malted inside. God! Now I need a cold shower! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 9:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/11 "2005-09-06T09:52:15Z")
But Malteasers should be put in the mouth and crunched! ---
**Author:** ![Pixisis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/f17d59/32.png) [@Pixisis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pixisis)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 10:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/12 "2005-09-06T10:16:47Z")
> [@AngelicGemma](#): > > But Malteasers should be put in the mouth and crunched! … after you nibble off all the chocolate 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/13 "2005-09-06T11:52:18Z")
I thought this thread was about a maltese dog with humping tendancies. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [September 6, 2005, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat-a-malteaser/320247/14 "2005-09-06T12:37:33Z")
Malteasers are NOTHING like Whoppers. They are made of WONDERFUL slightly dark chocolate and the malted center is much better. That’s like comparing White Castle sliders to Big Boys. The best way to eat them is to let them sit in your mouth until they dissolve. Mmmmm. Thank goodness I can get them at Meijer here in the states!