# How to Eat
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [August 20, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801 "2002-08-20T22:40:26Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 4
### Author:  [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2002, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/61 "2002-08-21T22:51:27Z")
**Ender** , the solution to that problem in my experience is to enjoin the table to leave the tip in cash. The person paying by credit card signs off only the total dinner amount. And some volunteer can leave the cash tip on behalf of the credit card-payer in exchange for putting in little less for his tab.
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### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2002, 11:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/62 "2002-08-21T23:01:53Z")
I’d say leave the tip in cash on the table and let Mr. Credit add his share on his reciept. That way, everyone gets to leave the percentage they want to. You shouldn’t expect everyone to tip 25% just because you want to, that’s not fair.
Just have one pile of cash for your dinner, and one for tip. Of course, this only applies if one person is putting the whole meal on their card and the rest are paying them for cash, otherwise it would be just one pile. But I guess that’s pretty obvious. 🙂
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### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2002, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/63 "2002-08-21T23:04:41Z")
Uh, yeah what Magelin just said, only way better than me… (cept you can leave a tip on both a credit card receipt and in cash, which makes it even easier)
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### Author:  [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2002, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/64 "2002-08-21T23:27:19Z")
**Enderw24** , that’s one problem that splitting the bill evenly avoids. When the bill arrives, the person who picks it up announces to the table that a 20% tip (or whatever) is in order. This is either agreed upon or revised and added to the bill. (At that time anyone who ordered the lobster with gold leaf or the 130 year old port can offer to kick in an extra fifty to cover the cost.) The total is divided and an announcement is made as to what everyone’s share is. No muss, no fuss, no fucking around.
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by lezlers_
> I’m not saying you’re a billionaire, but it sounds as if you have an income that allows you to live comforatably and have a little extra cash for these situations. Good for you, hopefully I’ll be there someday too. Others, such as myself, do not have it like that. So don’t make it harder on us in order to make it easier on you.
I’m unemployed, actually.
You sound desperate to pick a fight with us bourgeoisie. There is no argument here. I don’t need to subsidise my enormous net worth with your meager paycheck. I’m just advocating making the dining experience easier on everyone.
I said from the beginning that splitting the bill is reasonable _as long as nobody deviates significantly from the mean_. What is meant by “significantly” obviously depends on the individual. I (and my group) don’t think ten bucks on an $80 meal is significant, considering the hours of entertaining conversation and good food that that money purchased. You may disagree. That’s fine with me.
But surely there must be a sum about which you wouldn’t quibble?
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### Author:  [@LifeOnWry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LifeOnWry)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2002, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/65 "2002-08-21T23:49:40Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Enderw24 \*
> \*\*Because here’s how the guy with the credit card sees the problem: “I have $128 in my hand and the bill was $130. Well gollie, looks like my meal’s mostly taken care of. Throw in 15% for tip and we’re out of here.”
>
> But the guy with the credit card isn’t just stealing from me, he’s stealing from the waitstaff. Those one or two dollars mean a huge difference.
>
> \*\*
Let me chime in one more time for the service staff. Many restaurants take a percentage of credit card tips from the wait staff. No, it is not fair, but this is how it works - some credit card companies, AMEX in particular, charge establishments for the privilege of accepting their charge card (this is why, incidentally, you’ll find that while Visa and Master Card are accepted almost everywhere, American Express is not.) The restaurants will pay this out of the servers’ tips. Average is about 10% of the tip. In addition, servers are required by law to report their tips and pay taxes on them…including the percentage the restaurant has taken. While I would never encourage anyone to skirt the law, it is common practice for servers to report only a portion of their tips, and many restaurants quietly allow this. BUT, please remember that there is a paper trail for charged tips, so the server really must report 100% of at least their charge card tips. And no IRS guy is dumb enough to think that a server was ONLY tipped on charge cards.
In short, if you want to charge your meal, go for it. But if at all possible, leave the tip in cash. Your server will appreciate you for it.
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### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [August 21, 2002, 11:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/66 "2002-08-21T23:58:53Z")
yeah, 5 or even 10 bucks or so is cool. Anything above that and I may begin to get a little resentful of you for ordering that lobster and not offering to kick in extra.
I’m not desperate to pick a fight with anyone. I began to get insulted by your dismissive attitude towards those who might object to subsidizing someone else’s meal, for whatever reasons they may have. Not to mention implying earlier that those who could not afford the extra money shouldn’t be allowed to go out. That’s total bullshit.
Perhaps I was projecting my frustration towards my monetarily oblivious co-workers onto you. If so, I apologize.
Anyone ever seen that “Friends” episode where half the group were making good money and the other half weren’t? Then they sort of formed “sides” at got into a little war about it?
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### Author:  [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2002, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/67 "2002-08-22T00:03:47Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Geobabe \*
> Yes, if everyone has ordered food and drinks that are approximately the same, splitting things evenly is the way to go. It’s far easier and causes less heartburn all the way round. However, since I’m a non-drinker, my share of the bill is very likely to be substantially less than the rest of the group. What I usually do is grab the check, figure out what I owe and pass it to the next person. I always tip generously, because I have sympathy for the server of a large group, and also because too many people underestimate the tip. I’ve on many occasions thrown in a few bucks more than what I owed so the waitperson didn’t get stiffed.
>
> I don’t think it’s at all fair to say that anyone who is on a limited budget should have to forgo the pleasure of an evening out with friends. If they’re truly friends, they should be able to understand when one person can’t afford to splurge. Sure, po’ folks shouldn’t be going out all the time, but come on. Either pick a cheaper place, or allow the person on a budget to order something cheap and only pay for that. Or if you’re really good pals, let them order what they want and subsidize them.
I agree one hundred percent with **Geobabe** (and **belladonna** and **Maeglin** ), FWIW. I’m a generous person when I can afford to be (which is, at least with friends, almost always). Sometimes, however, I need to be very careful about how much I spend, and I’ll order food with my budget in mind. In those instances, even (oh, let’s say) eight dollars one way or another can make a substantial difference. _shrug_ Maybe when I become a lawyer, I can worry less about how much I’m spending on dinner. Till then, I guess I’ll stay away from (oh, let’s say) large gatherings of acquaintances.
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### Author:  [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2002, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/68 "2002-08-22T00:08:57Z")
I went out with 3 other adults (my son was included) a month a dn a half ago.
They ordered 2 pizzas, salad, etc.
My son and I only had two pieces of pizza and a plate of fried potatoes(worth $1.50).
I had to pay $8!
I do not have any money, am not employed; had gotten the money from my dad to eat.
I don’t want to sit home all the time, yet i cannot afford to “split checks”.
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### Author:  [@Kamandi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kamandi)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2002, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/69 "2002-08-22T16:12:41Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lezlers \*
> **I began to get insulted by your dismissive attitude towards those who might object to subsidizing someone else’s meal, for whatever reasons they may have.**
YOu don’t want to subsidize my meal? What kind of friend are you? 😉
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by lezlers \*
> **Not to mention implying earlier that those who could not afford the extra money shouldn’t be allowed to go out. That’s total bullshit.**
I agree. I didn’t mean to imply that.
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### Author:  [@UncleBeer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UncleBeer)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2002, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/70 "2002-08-22T17:43:34Z")
I’ll gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.
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### Author:  [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)
#### Post date: [August 22, 2002, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/71 "2002-08-22T17:45:37Z")
awww comon!! You don’t wanna fight just a teensy bit? You’re no fun… 😉
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### Author:  [@Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simon_Met_a_Pieman)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2002, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/72 "2002-08-23T18:32:45Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Kamandi \*
> \*_Put it this way: you’ve just had a wonderful three-hour repast with seven delightful people. Delicious food and sparkling conversation was enjoyed by all. You’re contemplating how great life is over the last of your coffee when the check shows up._
> \*\*
Kamandi, I think I understand that you’re saying that the extra ten bucks is a small price to pay for the above experience, but when I read what you’ve said, this is what I hear.
“I’ve just spent the past three hours entertaining you heathens, and if you’re not willing to underwrite my rapier wit with free food, you can pound sand.”
Your definition of polite society isn’t very polite in my book. I suppose that I’ll stick to feeding my friends in my home if I feel like being generous. At least that way I’ll never get stuck with shallow pockets in public.
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### Author:  [@Simon\_Met\_a\_Pieman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Simon_Met_a_Pieman)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/73 "2002-08-23T18:43:46Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Kamandi \*
> \*_Put it this way: you’ve just had a wonderful three-hour repast with seven delightful people. Delicious food and sparkling conversation was enjoyed by all. You’re contemplating how great life is over the last of your coffee when the check shows up._
> \*\*
Kamandi, I think I understand that you’re saying that the extra ten bucks is a small price to pay for the above experience, but when I read what you’ve said, this is what I hear.
“I’ve just spent the past three hours entertaining you heathens, and if you’re not willing to underwrite my rapier wit with free food, you can pound sand.”
Your definition of polite society isn’t very polite in my book. You say that you just want to make things “Easier for everyone.” I think that you might be willing to do so because it makes things easier for you. People will leave the evening in high spirits as long as they don’t feel as though they’ve been cheated.
If you want your largesse to be appreciated fully, perhaps you might suggest putting in your share, plus ten bucks, and then allowing the other diners to equally divide what’s left over as their share of your evenings “Entertainment.”
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### Author:  [@Sterra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sterra)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2002, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/74 "2002-08-23T20:32:03Z")
Why don’t the people who want to itemize actually itemize and the people who just want to split split the rest of the bill and subtract the people who itemized? So if its just one person who wants to itemize let them and then just split the rest of the bill with everyone else.
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### Author:  [@betenoir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/betenoir)
#### Post date: [August 23, 2002, 10:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/75 "2002-08-23T22:12:48Z")
What? You don’t want to spend hours going over your resturant check? Don’t you realize if everybody thought like you, we’d have never progressed farther than Infinate Improbability Drive?
(I believe around here there’ll be enough people who will get my reference :\>)
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### Author:  [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2002, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/76 "2002-08-24T03:26:49Z")
I have decided that from here on out, **manhattan** will pay for my dinner tab. No, no, don’t try to dissuade me.
When I was younger, we were very much ‘pay what you eat’ people. Now we’re more ‘split evenly’ people, and I always add an extra 10% on top of whatever everyone else tips. FWIW, as a waitress, I never, ever minded doing separate cheques for people, because I understood the circumstances that young n’ poor were in.
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### Author:  [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)
#### Post date: [August 24, 2002, 7:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/77 "2002-08-24T07:55:05Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by betenoir \*
> \*\*What? You don’t want to spend hours going over your resturant check? Don’t you realize if everybody thought like you, we’d have never progressed farther than Infinate Improbability Drive?
>
> (I believe around here there’ll be enough people who will get my reference :\>) \*\*
Around _here_? Naaaaahhhhhhh…
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### Author:  [@Pammipoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pammipoo)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2002, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/78 "2002-08-25T13:32:25Z")
I’m all for tossing in a proportionate share each…it may not be exact, but if I grab a soft drink, and a sandwich, and maybe dessert, I’ll toss a 20 in to cover my share, includiing tips and tax. It may not be to the cent, but it usually comes out around accurate if everyone judges accordingly. If I go out with just a couple of friends, we just take turns footing the bill, unless someone specifically wants to pay his share then.
I work at a high priced ice cream/food stand in the suburbs of Boston. I’ve seen dinners run $85-$100 for 4 or 5 people, not including desserts. The same group (of about 8) regularly comes in on Wednesday afternoon, and each week, a different person pays. Whoever’s not paying each tosses accouple of singles in my tiip jar. They never insist on seperate checks, which would be a huge pain in the ass for us(as opposed to one big slip, the order rack would have 8, plus whoever’s grabbing drinks has to make 8 trips across the store, etc). It works really good.
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### Author:  [@Gadarene](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gadarene)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2002, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/79 "2002-08-25T15:58:29Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Sterra \*
> Why don’t the people who want to itemize actually itemize and the people who just want to split split the rest of the bill and subtract the people who itemized? So if its just one person who wants to itemize let them and then just split the rest of the bill with everyone else.
Hey, _that’s_ a thought…
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### Author:  [@TVGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVGuy)
#### Post date: [August 25, 2002, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-eat/124801/80 "2002-08-25T16:18:06Z")
If I’ve invited people out for dinner, I’m damned well going to pick up the check - tax, tip and all.
If I’m going to lunch with friendds or co-workers, the way we’ve always done it is just to take turns picking up the check - if you regularly go out for lunch with 4 0r 5 other people, then each one buys each day - it works out in the end.
What drives me nuts is the group of 10 that goes out for lunch and then instists on sitting there for half an hour figuring every single stinkin’ penny that each person owes right down to the 15.1% tip and the apportioned tax load. When that starts happening, I usually just grab the damned check, throw down the credit card and get on with it. If people feel like paying me later, then fine. Usually, I won’t take their cash anyway.
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