# How to fail a breath test. Really. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 3, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554 "2005-04-03T19:32:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/1 "2005-04-03T19:32:55Z")
[This Toronto drunk](http://www.canoe.ca/NewsStand/OttawaSun/News/2005/03/30/976414-sun.html) takes the prize in the “it seemed like a good idea at the time” department. I’d really like it if this mistaken idea caught on amongst habitually drunk drivers. Help spread the meme: “Beat the rap. Eat some crap!” ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/2 "2005-04-03T20:20:49Z")
I like that slogan. It’s a lot better than “Disguise the booze by eating your poos” which was the best I could come up with. I take that back. I just thought of “Spread the word - munch a turd!” ---
**Author:** ![Revtim](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/revtim/32/1042_2.png) [@Revtim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revtim)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2005, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/3 "2005-04-03T20:56:51Z")
He just should have said “I’m not drunk, I’m just pooped…” ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 2:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/4 "2005-04-04T02:29:00Z")
Talk about gettin’ shitfaced! ---
**Author:** ![Savannah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Savannah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Savannah)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/5 "2005-04-04T03:20:28Z")
Ew. Sgt. James Buchanan deserves a raise. Bless 'em, the cops, for having to deal with crap like that. ---
**Author:** ![Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e19adc/32.png) [@Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/6 "2005-04-04T12:24:15Z")
Brings new meaning to worshipping the porcelain throne. ---
**Author:** ![wheelie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b4bc9f/32.png) [@wheelie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wheelie)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/7 "2005-04-04T14:12:29Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > Talk about gettin’ shitfaced! ::groans:: Later at the trial… “Your Honor, as the photographs taken during booking plainly show, the defendant was shitfaced at the time of his arrest. He was drunk too.” Kinda makes me glad I didn’t buy that used police car. You never know _what’s_ happened to them over the years. ---
**Author:** ![NinjaChick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/71c47a/32.png) [@NinjaChick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinjaChick)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/8 "2005-04-04T22:00:41Z")
Well, that’s a deterrent to make me not want to get arrested. You never know what sort of…crap…is in the back of those cars… Eew. ---
**Author:** ![bluecanary](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bluecanary/32/3614_2.png) [@bluecanary](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bluecanary)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/9 "2005-04-04T22:47:59Z")
Where’s that vomit-smiley when you need it? ---
**Author:** ![brownie55](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f14d63/32.png) [@brownie55](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/brownie55)\ **Post date:** [April 4, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-fail-a-breath-test-really/297554/10 "2005-04-04T23:00:29Z")
The bastard was driving a Ford pickup, just like so many of us who do not behave that way. It’s embarrassing.