# How to finally leave the job after 25 yrs. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 25, 2015, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889 "2015-08-25T21:20:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/1 "2015-08-25T21:20:57Z")
I’ve given notice, a year’s notice in fact, while I trained my replacement. And that year will be up on 12/31/15. My replacement is coming along nicely, and I think she’ll be fine. I just want to leave-I viscerally fear any kind of do they may have for me, I mean, they may not, hell, probably won’t, but I don’t want anything. I shudder. I’d like to tell my replacement maybe 2-3 days ahead of time with her vow of silence; she’ll have my number and I’ll answer for a while, but I doubt it would go on long–maybe just stuff never encountered in the entire year we’ve worked together-in any case I don’t worry. And then call in on 1/2, and ask for my last check and accrued vacation–would that be just terrible? Couple people I’d like to say g-bye to, I could just stop in. Or not. ---
**Author:** ![Quartz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quartz/32/267_2.png) [@Quartz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quartz)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/2 "2015-08-25T21:34:27Z")
Just remember to advise her and her manager of your (suitably large) consultancy fees. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/3 "2015-08-25T21:35:53Z")
You already messed this up when you gave them anything more than two weeks. ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/4 "2015-08-25T21:37:25Z")
Retiring or another job? Something else? You gave your notice a year in advance. You are training your replacement. Sure, give the new person your number and tell them your support is good until January 31, 2016, and leave it at that. I would be surprised if she ever calls. As for the long goodbye with a few people, are they in the same office or elsewhere? As for the last check and accrued vacation, why should you have to ask? ---
**Author:** ![Stormcrow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/0ea827/32.png) [@Stormcrow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stormcrow)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/5 "2015-08-25T21:50:32Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > As for the last check and accrued vacation, why should you have to ask? I’m guessing that this is a small company where some things aren’t just automatic. To the OP, I’d have the conversation with your boss soon, just to reiterate the plan; that you intend to leave at the top of the year, making sure any details are worked out well in advance (the vacation and last check, etc), and also to ask not to make a big deal of retirement. Is there a particular reason you don’t want a big to-do? I’ve found that a lot of retirement parties are as much for the people who are staying just to say “hey we’re going to miss you” as anything else. Personally I’d just suck it up and get it over with, and heck, you might even enjoy it. Of course, I don’t know your situation and why you dread it, so I’m totally OK with that advice being ignored 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DummyGladHands](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/49beb7/32.png) [@DummyGladHands](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DummyGladHands)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/6 "2015-08-25T21:53:21Z")
> [@Duckster](#): > > Retiring or another job? Something else? > > You gave your notice a year in advance. You are training your replacement. Sure, give the new person your number and tell them your support is good until January 31, 2016, and leave it at that. I would be surprised if she ever calls. > > As for the long goodbye with a few people, are they in the same office or elsewhere? > > As for the last check and accrued vacation, why should you have to ask? Retiring. The people I’d want to say g-bye to, 1 I have to stop and see (owner/founder who hired me and who still comes to the office)–for most of the others, I have their personal #'s, so OK. Well, I thought when I called to officially say finito to personnel, I’d just make sure she mails the check. Thanks. ---
**Author:** ![CarnalK](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnalk/32/486_2.png) [@CarnalK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CarnalK)\ **Post date:** [August 25, 2015, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/7 "2015-08-25T22:23:46Z")
Is this thread just about wanting to avoid a retirement/goodbye party? It doesn’t have to be some cringeworthy thing. Shake a few hands, tell a couple stories, drink a few beers. If you know who’d be in charge of that just let them know you don’t want a bunch of speeches or big deal. ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/8 "2015-08-26T12:15:29Z")
Not sure I understand. You gave notice to management, but your departure is not common knowledge? How does your replacement not know? But anyway, really shouldn’t be any big deal. Just tell your boss - or whoever you gave notice to, that you don’t any kind of a party. If they throw one, you can always leave. I think it would be pretty pitiful if you had worked somewhere for 25 years, and there weren’t at least a couple of people you would want to shake hands with and say good bye to on your last day. You don’t have to make any kind of a deal out of leaving, but you don’t need to sneak away like a thief in the night either. ---
**Author:** ![Sage\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sage_rat/32/399_2.png) [@Sage\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sage_Rat)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/9 "2015-08-26T12:59:13Z")
My recommendation would be through a door, but I suppose there are alternatives. ---
**Author:** ![jonesj2205](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecc23a/32.png) [@jonesj2205](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jonesj2205)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/10 "2015-08-26T13:00:59Z")
If they really want to do something, insist on lunch. Dinner/after work is an open ended thing, lunch is much more distinct with beginning and end. ---
**Author:** ![kiz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7feea3/32.png) [@kiz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kiz)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/11 "2015-08-26T13:13:06Z")
> [@jonesj2205](#): > > If they really want to do something, insist on lunch. Dinner/after work is an open ended thing, lunch is much more distinct with beginning and end. This is what a now former coworker did. HR asked her what she wanted and she replied, “Pizza for lunch! Everyone’s invited!” She popped in not too long ago and mentioned it had been the retirement party of her dreams because of the time cutoff. Plus she didn’t have to make a speech or anything like that, LOL. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/12 "2015-08-26T13:24:46Z")
> [@Sage\_Rat](#): > > My recommendation would be through a door, but I suppose there are alternatives. At least leave vertically, not horizontally. ---
**Author:** ![Gary\_T](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Gary\_T](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gary_T)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/13 "2015-08-26T14:13:43Z")
> [@ElvisL1ves](#): > > At least leave vertically, not horizontally. Wait – is that how Elvis left the building? ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/14 "2015-08-26T14:24:34Z")
In my opinion, all the shadowy exit will do is manifest MORE people seeking you out, after you’ve left the building, by calling, sending cards, inviting you to dinner/lunch etc, than would ever have happened if you’d just let them have a cake, wish you well, shake your hand and give you a card. Insist it’s nothing but a card and cake after lunch, then suck it up for 40mins, and be done with it. It seems like the easiest, least exposure answer to me. ---
**Author:** ![ElvisL1ves](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/5daacb/32.png) [@ElvisL1ves](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ElvisL1ves)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/15 "2015-08-26T14:31:53Z")
> [@Gary\_T](#): > > Wait – is that how Elvis left the building? That was squatting. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/16 "2015-08-26T14:35:51Z")
> [@Quartz](#): > > Just remember to advise her and her manager of your (suitably large) consultancy fees. No shit. When I was at company X I fought tooth and nail get my smallest point across. A while later, I got hired by company X as a consultant for significantly more than my previous hourly wage and what I said was gold with no questions asked. And it was the same people there later that were there earlier. WTF? ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2015, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/17 "2015-08-26T19:21:37Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > How to finally leave the job after 25 yrs. There must be 50 ways. ---
**Author:** ![edwardcoast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cab0a1/32.png) [@edwardcoast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/edwardcoast)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/18 "2015-08-28T06:40:40Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > I’ve given notice, a year’s notice in fact, while I trained my replacement. And that year will be up on 12/31/15. > > My replacement is coming along nicely, and I think she’ll be fine. > > I just want to leave-I viscerally fear any kind of do they may have for me, I mean, they may not, hell, probably won’t, but I don’t want anything. I shudder. > > I’d like to tell my replacement maybe 2-3 days ahead of time with her vow of silence; she’ll have my number and I’ll answer for a while, but I doubt it would go on long–maybe just stuff never encountered in the entire year we’ve worked together-in any case I don’t worry. > > And then call in on 1/2, and ask for my last check and accrued vacation–would that be just terrible? > > Couple people I’d like to say g-bye to, I could just stop in. Or not. What kind of job was this, that you felt you needed to give them a year’s notice? ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 2:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/19 "2015-08-28T14:42:01Z")
Calendar design. Enjoy your retirement! ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2015, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-finally-leave-the-job-after-25-yrs/728889/20 "2015-08-28T14:49:46Z")
Make plans to travel starting on the next day after your last. Don’t look back.