Said out loud, this is one of the funnier things I’ve ever read on the Dope. 
Walk in there with your 12 year old nephew and introduce him as your date.
If I haven’t found a date by Saturday I will sign up to go by myself. I wish it wasn’t a semi-formal affair, then it wouldn’t matter so much if I brought someone. If you are in charge of your office Christmas party keep this kind of thing in mind and just go to a bar or something low key!
I’ll do it for $75, which gets you a ride from Manhattan to Scarsdale and back, on condition that it’s 100% non-romantic. If your attitude is 99% non-romantic and 1% looking to hook up, then I’ll pass. If interested, message me on yahoo messenger, we can chat and swap info, and you can decide if I am presentable.
So, how did it go?
It went, I suppose. 
I bought an awesome black dress and I looked fantabulous, but I was one of 3 people who didn’t have dates so I did stick out a little bit. I don’t really enjoy my coworkers on a personal level (they are all very nice people but not people I would choose to spend time with outside of work) so I spent most of my evening chatting with the husbands/wives/life partners/friends that accompanied everyone else and I met some really awesome people. It would have been a better evening with a date, for certian, as I would have had someone to make small talk with while everyone else was paired up and I wouldn’t have ended up with an empty seat next to me during dinner, but all in all it was okay. I got some filet mignon and creme brulee out of the evening so I can’t complain!