# How to find friends. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [September 29, 2015, 11:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994 "2015-09-29T23:49:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/41 "2015-09-30T18:20:32Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Sort of. In 2008 I weighed only 105 kg. Ok, well, try walking for 10 minutes at a time. 5 minutes in one direction, turn around come back. I don’t know how long it will take to do this until you can do more. Is there a park or park bench near your house? You could walk a very short distance, rest, then walk back home. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/42 "2015-09-30T18:21:45Z")
> [@madsircool](#): > > You like Run escape. Join a clan. Go to your local Starbucks and play. You will eventually meet other players. This is a great idea! ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/43 "2015-09-30T18:22:20Z")
> [@Robert163](#): > > Ok, well, try walking for 10 minutes at a time. 5 minutes in one direction, turn around come back. I don’t know how long it will take to do this until you can do more. I do walk a little every day. ---
**Author:** ![Robert163](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/4af34b/32.png) [@Robert163](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robert163)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/44 "2015-09-30T18:23:14Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I do walk a little every day. Well, see, you are doing the right thing already. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/45 "2015-09-30T18:42:53Z")
Friendships are not very complicated. You feel better about yourself in their presence and they feel better about themselves in your presence. Being attractive and attracting company is not exactly the same but similar. If you are attractive for any number of possible reasons others will feel somewhat honored to be welcomed in by you, it would validate them as being likewise attractive. ``` Once a casual friendship has been established and the level of communication deepens we get to experience additional levels of friendship which might include trust and unconditional loyalty to varying degrees. ``` I started doing something after my divorce 25 years ago that has proved very effective. First of all I radically changed the criteria of those I would like to call friends. If I do run across someone that meets my criteria I freely express my appreciation for whatever it is I feel the represent, opinions, work ethic, whatever? Very simple concept and easy to implement. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/46 "2015-09-30T18:51:23Z")
iOS 9 placed a Find Friends app on my phone and tablet. I have plenty of friends, so I’ve avoided opening the app. And what’s the deal with the red? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/47 "2015-09-30T19:00:01Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > iOS 9 placed a Find Friends > And what’s the deal with the red? He’s Russian. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/48 "2015-09-30T19:00:29Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > I started doing something after my divorce 25 years ago that has proved very effective. First of all I radically changed the criteria of those I would like to call friends. If I do run across someone that meets my criteria I freely express my appreciation for whatever it is I feel the represent, opinions, work ethic, whatever? Very simple concept and easy to implement. Definitely – anyone who wants me to change in order to fit in is not a friend. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/49 "2015-09-30T19:01:31Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > He’s Russian. I am Jewish from Russia – I fit neither into the Russian language society nor into English language society. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/50 "2015-09-30T19:10:34Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Definitely – anyone who wants me to change in order to fit in is not a friend. ``` I don't look at it like they want me to change. I see change as an opportunity to continue growing. 25 years ago my friends were addicts, alcoholics, ex-cons etc. Today my friends are on the polar opposite of that spectrum. My friends today are people I admired greatly but was afraid to approach. Willingness to change or grow however you want to look at it is sometimes a condition of social acceptance. ``` ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/51 "2015-09-30T19:13:37Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > Definitely – anyone who wants me to change in order to fit in is not a friend. Neither is anyone who wants to charge you. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/52 "2015-09-30T19:28:32Z")
Once more, with feeling… > [@QuickSilver](#): > > What part of “your identity” does society ask you to give up? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/53 "2015-09-30T19:42:11Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I am Jewish from Russia – I fit neither into the Russian language society nor into English language society. That’s a cop out. There are tons of people from other countries in America. Your English is preventing you from making friends. ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/54 "2015-09-30T19:43:37Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > That’s a cop out. There are tons of people from other countries in America. Your English is preventing you from making friends. I know English as well as Russian. I fit neither into Russian nor into American society. I have Depression and Asperger’s Syndrome. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/55 "2015-09-30T19:55:21Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I have Depression and Asperger’s Syndrome. Are you receiving treatment? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/56 "2015-09-30T19:58:13Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Are you receiving treatment? Psychological and psychiatric since '92. In 2010s I saw my psychologist very rarely – thus I am looking for Rent A Friend. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 8:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/57 "2015-09-30T20:02:20Z")
Perhaps what you need right now much more than a friend is a psychologist. Seriously… get the help you need from a qualified and trained professional. Can you do that? ---
**Author:** ![CCitizen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/4af34b/32.png) [@CCitizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CCitizen)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/58 "2015-09-30T20:14:28Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > Perhaps what you need right now much more than a friend is a psychologist. > > Seriously… get the help you need from a qualified and trained professional. > > Can you do that? Not at \>$100 per hour. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/59 "2015-09-30T20:17:41Z")
Are you on some sort of social support system for your disabilities? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2015, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994/60 "2015-09-30T20:19:16Z")
> [@CCitizen](#): > > I know English as well as Russian. I fit neither into Russian nor into American society. > > I have Depression and Asperger’s Syndrome. Sorry, I meant to say your English is not preventing you from making friends. Typo. Your mental health could be though. I think there must be services available that you can afford. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-find-friends/732994.md?page=4)