If you’re ever in the DC area, stop by Minerva Express at 4815 Lee Highway in Arlington. We occasionally have them deliver and their chicken vindaloo is the by far the spiciest food I’ve ever had.
Minerva Express is one of these.
That’s simply not always true. I’ve been to Thai places, ordered the basil chicken, asked for the fried egg on top (which is usually a request made by people who have familiarity with Thai food), asked for it “Thai spicy” or “pet pet” and I might still get something not anywhere near as hot as I like it. It usually works, but not always. I’d say 20% of the time, in a new place, I won’t get it anywhere near close as hot as I like it. But there’s only a handful of dishes that I like this spice, and holy basil chicken is one of them. It’s always encouraging when the person taking your order says “are you sure?” though.
ETA: Oh, I never send food back. I just eat it. I’ll ask for peppers on the side if I need to (or for whatever pepper concoctions they happen to have around, if there’s not some already available on the table.)
Another option is to make your own.
I don’t mean that snarkily - Indian food is incredibly satisfying cookery. You do have to lay in a different range of spices than you would otherwise keep on hand, but once you have that stuff it’s easy.
And he who controls the spice controls the [del]universe[/del] heat level.
I have an idea that the way Americans use the word ‘spicy’ is different from the way Indians use the word.
If something has, for example, a lot of cinnamon and cardamom in it, an Indian would say it was ‘very spicy’, but not at all ‘hot’. Spicy means ‘well seasoned with spices’, but not necessarily ‘burny’. ‘Spicy’ and ‘hot’ are two different independent scales.
I could be wrong, but I have that impression.
I agree. I love the spicing, and my Indian spice rack alone has something like 25 bottles on it (three different cardamom pods-who knew?), including some homemade masalas (bin buhnna hua, balti, etc.). One reason for so many is that unless you want to spend all your time at the spice grinder, you really need to have both whole and ground versions of things like coriander, fennel, cloves and cumin.
“Spicy” and “hot” are generally used interchangeably in the US. Sometimes “spicy” does mean “well-spiced” more than “mouth burning hot,” though. When I order, I usually use the word “hot,” though (I said “spicy” above, but that’s incorrect. I say “Thai hot” or “Indian hot.”) There is one Thai-Laotian place not too terribly far from my house where their spice levels are pretty much two levels higher than you’d expect anywhere else catering to American tastes. If you order something “medium,” even if they don’t know you, it’s “hot” by American standards. I’ve had their “Thai hot” many times, and it’s melt-your-mouth hot.
I assume you’ve been to Saffron Patch on Chagrin in Shaker? It’s funny if you say you have and it’s definitely not hot enough. I went twice with my friends and I tried SO hard to be into it, and everyone tried so hard not to have me eat something that was too hot for me, but both times I went I ended up having to have like 6 lassis because a bite of something or other knocked my socks off. And I no doubt was eating the mildest stuff there.
So, if it’s way too mild for you and nearly killed me, we can see where we’re at then it comes to difference in heat tolerance 
That’s what I would do. Find a restaurant you like otherwise and place your order. Look your server in the eye and express your desire for spicy food. Politely but firmly send it back till they get it right. Repeat until they remember you
Nah, just tip well and always ask for some of their spiciest chutney (or a bowl of hot peppers) if the food isn’t where you want it. They’ll eventually figure it out.
I would rather be remembered as “gregarious guy who tips well and likes spicy food” than “difficult guy who always sends his food back because it’s not spicy enough.”
To this day, my Indian place sometimes makes the dishes a ;ott;e too mild and (less frequently) sometimes they blow me out of the water with heat. This is because it’s a good restaurant and they aren’t cooking out of a jar. Heat levels are always going to be variable, and restaurants are always going to err on the safe side.
Any time I’ve gone to a real Indian restaurant run by Indians in Chicagoland, I’ve never had a problem getting hot food. In fact, I have to make an effort to be sure I get medium hot. If you’re outside an urban area, there are no guarantees what you’ll get.
Yeah, always order the Vindaloo.
Every bite of Vindaloo should bring tears to your eyes, and your body’s natural opiates flowing into your bloodstream.
I never have had any problem with Vindaloo.
I’m honestly not sure why this didn’t occur to me. Back when I lived in Bozeman (which had no Indian restaurants at all), I lived for the annual ISA Diwali festival, where they served excellent food (and also had performances of Indian music and dance and so on). I’ll have to dig up some e-mail addresses.
Unless the word “spice” is attached to “pumpkin”, at least, in which case it means cinnamon, nutmeg, and maybe allspice or mace.
In any event, I like Indian spices in both senses of the word. You can usually get a decent representation of the non-hot spices, though. It’s just the hot spices they’re reluctant to give to an American.
I haven’t, as I’m a west-sider, but the next time I’m out that way, I’ll be sure to check it out, thanks.
And ironically, I’m not a big fan of the flavor of vindaloo (that is, the non-heat components of the flavor). I usually go for something tikka masala. I’m also not like this with spicy food from any other cuisine: I have more tolerance than most for hot Mexican or Thai or Chinese, but the actual ethnic places are capable (if they try) of kicking it up beyond my level of preference, and I can be quite satisfied with American-hot.
Go to Bombay Chaat on CSU campus. You’re welcome.
I’d ask any South Asians you know. Here, there are many South Asian students, engineers and computer experts. I can’t speak for Cleveland.
There are likely grocery stores which carry Indian products (often other Asian foods). Talk to the owners. These stores, and many British and other grocers, carry Patak’s and other easy to use spice pastes. But making the real thing is better and not much more difficult. Madhur Jeffry and many others have written easy to use cookbooks and have recipes online.
I am fortunate to have a few good local options. But it is hard to believe a place that serves dosa or even butter chicken is unaware how to make food “Indian hot” (use this phrase). They might even have spicy lime pickle which should be added to everything anyway.
Care to share some recommendations?
You know how I mentioned in the OP that there was one specific place I compared the reviews for, to get a baseline, and that I was never able to convince them to put any detectable level of heat in? Oddly enough, that was Bombay Chaat.
I have a feeling this is your problem right here. Maybe things are different in the US, but over here a tikka masala is one of the mildest Indian curries, second only to the korma in terms of lack of spice or heat. So it may be that when you order that “hot” they just assume you are a clueless American who doesn’t really want any heat at all.
I say this as someone who usually orders and enjoys a korma or similar, but would be quite happy with a tikka masala as typically served. In other words, I’m nearly at the opposite end of the ‘spectrum’ from you.
I’m not up in that part of the area very often, but I’ll keep that in mind for when I am!
Well played, sir. 
It’s debated, but chicken tikka masala is generally considered to be a British invention, and while nicely spiced, is not intended to be hot. So yeah, Chronos needs to change his order.
Oh, I missed that. Tikka masala (or butter chicken or makhani) is usually the mildest curry on the menu, in my experience. They all can theoretically be made as how as you want them, but, in my experience, those are always the Indian dishes for people who don’t like it particularly hot.