# How to get a bird out of a fireplace (need answer fast) **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 15, 2015, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079 "2015-05-15T00:27:47Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/21 "2015-05-15T05:05:56Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > Uh, a little one? I have no clue. I took a quick pic of it with my tablet. It’s not the best pic in the world. > > [http://home.comcast.net/~sokosfamily/bird.jpg](http://home.comcast.net/~sokosfamily/bird.jpg) Looks like a [Chimney Swift](http://www.audubon.org/sites/default/files/Chimney_Swift_a16-7-109_l_1.jpg) (appropriately enough). Which means you may have more. ---
**Author:** ![Why\_Child](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/b782af/32.png) [@Why\_Child](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_Child)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/22 "2015-05-15T05:22:27Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > \ > My husband did it while wearing nothing but gloves, skivvies, and a headlamp. > \ This is **absolutely hilarious!!** I have to insert an image of my own SO doing this, since I know nothing about yours, and the mental pic has me almost on the floor. Thank you! 😃 > [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > \ It’s not the best pic in the world. > > [http://home.comcast.net/~sokosfamily/bird.jpg](http://home.comcast.net/~sokosfamily/bird.jpg) The only things clear to me are candles and the mesh that covers the fireplace. I am not trying to pick at you; you already said it’s not the best pic, (and I imagine you were trying to take it in a hurry!) but where should I be looking? Upper/lower left? Upper/lower right? > [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > I really wish we would have had a third person handy to take a video from my tablet. Probably would have been a youtube instant classic. No, if it all went down the way I envision it, your third person would be rolling around on the floor, trying to breathe between laughing, and you’d mostly gotten video of the ceiling. Maybe vibrating a bit, with the sound of “AH-HAHAHAHA!!!” in the background! 😃 Reminds me - I once lived in an apt that was on the top floor of the building. I heard a bangety, bangety, **THUMP** from the roof into my utility closet. Then I heard skittery banging sounds from inside the closet. My two cats were riveted to the door. I looked at the intake vent, and saw little black claws gripping the slats. I thought it was a bird. I called my downstairs neighbor, my drinking buddy, and asked him if he would help me get this bird out of the closet. Sure, he would!! He came upstairs, unscrewed the vent, peeked inside, and slammed it shut! Why Child, it’s a squirrel!! They’re dangerous! They could have rabies! There was maybe 10 feet straight from the vent to the door. On one side, the dining room, kitchen, bathroom, and two bedrooms. On the other side, the living room, full of glass candle holders and little breakable knick-knacks. We shut the cats in a bedroom. Closed the bathroom and both bedroom doors. Made a “wall” with dining room chairs and blankets on the one side, which my neighbor chose to man. I took the living room side. Made a barrier with couch cushions. (In hindsight - couch cushions?! Really?! It’s a freaking SQUIRREL!! :smack: ) Ok, I took a blanket to shoo it out the door, or throw over it, whichever was appropriate. He opened the vent. The squirrel came out, and headed for the door. Great! Then it reconsidered, and headed towards me. I freaked, raised the blanket, and shouted, “AAHH!!” (Or something very like that.) The squirrel reconsidered and headed toward the dining room. Encouraged by the squirrel’s reaction to me, my neighbor raised his arms and shouted, “AAHH!!” The squirrel decided we were too much to deal with after falling down the hole, and headed out the door. Richard and I proceeded to get very drunk… and good time was had by all. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![engineer\_comp\_geek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/engineer_comp_geek/32/504_2.png) [@engineer\_comp\_geek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/engineer_comp_geek)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 6:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/23 "2015-05-15T06:33:45Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Looks like a [Chimney Swift](http://www.audubon.org/sites/default/files/Chimney_Swift_a16-7-109_l_1.jpg) (appropriately enough). Which means you may have more. That sure looks like it. Thanks! > [@Why\_Child](#): > > The only things clear to me are candles and the mesh that covers the fireplace. I am not trying to pick at you; you already said it’s not the best pic, (and I imagine you were trying to take it in a hurry!) but where should I be looking? Upper/lower left? Upper/lower right? There are candles on the left, the metal mesh on the right, the door hinge in the middle of the pic, and the bird is hanging on the left side of the metal mesh just to the right of the door hinge. The rightmost white blob (just to the right of the door hinge) isn’t a candle, it’s part of the bird. All of the candles are to the left of the door hinge. The bird’s wing is just below the white part of the bird, and the bird is facing so that its back is towards the candles, if that helps you orient it. > [@Why\_Child](#): > > No, if it all went down the way I envision it, your third person would be rolling around on the floor, trying to breathe between laughing, and you’d mostly gotten video of the ceiling. Maybe vibrating a bit, with the sound of “AH-HAHAHAHA!!!” in the background! 😃 You’re probably right about that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Isilder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/cc9497/32.png) [@Isilder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isilder)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/24 "2015-05-15T14:17:36Z")
> [@Why\_Child](#): > > Encouraged by the squirrel’s reaction to me, my neighbor raised his arms and shouted, “AAHH!!” The squirrel decided we were too much to deal with after falling down the hole, and headed out the door. > 😃 The squirrel learn you were not trees, and decided that “door” was the best way to go to find one… ---
**Author:** ![doorhinge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a5b964/32.png) [@doorhinge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/doorhinge)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/25 "2015-05-15T14:39:48Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > Maybe. If you can make the outside lighter than the inside. It worked for me in the basement, eventually. Let’s face it though, the bird could be covered with a lot of soot and having it flutter around the house landing on things might not be a good idea. Lighter? What does gravity have to do with this? _There’s that word again; lighter. Why are things so light in the future? Is there a problem with the earth’s gravitational pull? -Dr. Emmett Brown:_ 🙂 Meanwhile, the dirty birdy is going to be covered with a lot of soot whether you chase it out the door, or if it flies out the door on it’s own. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/26 "2015-05-15T15:58:36Z")
Is it evil that my first thought was, “light a fire”? ---
**Author:** ![CannyDan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cannydan/32/548_2.png) [@CannyDan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CannyDan)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/27 "2015-05-15T16:06:03Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Looks like a [Chimney Swift](http://www.audubon.org/sites/default/files/Chimney_Swift_a16-7-109_l_1.jpg) (appropriately enough). Which means you may have more. My thought too. You may have others actually nesting inside the chimney. In which case you are stuck with them until the babies all fledge and fly away. After which, you can have the chimney cleaned and get a screen cover for it. I’d inspect it now, and get that cover ASAP if no nests are found. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/28 "2015-05-15T16:20:51Z")
> [@Colibri](#): > > Looks like a [Chimney Swift](http://www.audubon.org/sites/default/files/Chimney_Swift_a16-7-109_l_1.jpg) (appropriately enough). Which means you may have more. Chimney swifts are cool birds. The Audubon Society put up a bunch of “fake chimneys” as nesting sites for the species. ---
**Author:** ![Dendarii\_Dame](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bbce88/32.png) [@Dendarii\_Dame](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dendarii_Dame)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/29 "2015-05-15T17:11:35Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > You will get dirty. My husband did it while wearing nothing but gloves, skivvies, and a headlamp. > > Unfortunately, he then had to go outside to let the bird go. Wearing gloves, skivvies, and a headlamp. This scene should go in a movie, or a sitcom. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/30 "2015-05-15T18:01:25Z")
This was totally a job for your cats. They’ll punish you for denying them a kill ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/31 "2015-05-15T18:28:16Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > You will get dirty. My husband did it while wearing nothing but gloves, skivvies, and a headlamp. Canary and a coal miner? ---
**Author:** ![Sailboat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sailboat/32/461_2.png) [@Sailboat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sailboat)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2015, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/32 "2015-05-15T23:11:24Z")
> [@engineer\_comp\_geek](#): > > Uh, a little one? I have no clue. I took a quick pic of it with my tablet. It’s not the best pic in the world. > > [http://home.comcast.net/~sokosfamily/bird.jpg](http://home.comcast.net/~sokosfamily/bird.jpg) Very hard to see from the photo…but, to be honest, what I can make out looks a bit like a [chimney swift](https://www.google.com/search?hl=en&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1920&bih=969&q=chimney+swift&oq=chimney+swift&gs_l=img.12..0l10.3799.8987.0.12734.13.9.0.4.4.0.72.581.9.9.0.msedr...0...1ac.1.64.img..0.13.597.YjK6mr0Eyzs), believe it or not. Oh for crying out loud, missed **Colibri** ’s post. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [May 16, 2015, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079/33 "2015-05-16T03:11:02Z")
> [@DCnDC](#): > > Is it evil that my first thought was, “light a fire”? Tsk! I’m notifying the ASPCA. Or the American Barbecue Club, I’m not sure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-a-bird-out-of-a-fireplace-need-answer-fast/720079.md?page=1)