# How to get out of catholicism? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 19, 2015, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038 "2015-04-19T13:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Thudlow\_Boink](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thudlow_boink/32/320_2.png) [@Thudlow\_Boink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thudlow_Boink)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/21 "2015-04-19T16:07:06Z")
> [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](#): > > I mean look if you were in ISIS and wanted out wouldn’t you want to make it official? Have you [del]stopped beating your wife[/del] gotten out of ISIS yet? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Drake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ad7895/32.png) [@Dr.Drake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Drake)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/22 "2015-04-19T17:08:23Z")
Or you can do what I do: proudly claim your Catholic identity, while at the same time making it clear that you don’t attend church or believe in Jesus or the Bible. It dilutes their brand. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/23 "2015-04-19T17:16:39Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#): > > To whom? ISIS? Fuck no. > > I’d just stop going to meetings and beheadings. Brother **QuickSilver** , we haven’t seen you at a beheading in over a month. Allah willing, we’ll see you at the next one. Because, well, that’s a fine head you have… shame if something were to happen to it! God is Great! ---
**Author:** ![GusNSpot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gusnspot/32/436_2.png) [@GusNSpot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GusNSpot)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/24 "2015-04-19T17:26:17Z")
I wish I could just do that with the IRS. Some try but it does not work to well. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to go to jail. I can say taxing is bad or wrong or Catholic. None of these seem to work. If you are asked, Denial Denial, Denial… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mind\_the\_gap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ea666f/32.png) [@mind\_the\_gap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mind_the_gap)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/25 "2015-04-19T17:26:35Z")
Captain, It ain’t like a gym membership. You can just ignore them. You know, like the white horse.😉 ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/26 "2015-04-19T17:28:27Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Sorry, your baptisms won’t be erased. It did happen - may as well ask to be erased from the records of the hospital in which you were born. Same for your parents’ wedding if it took place in an RCC ceremony, and for the confirmations of anybody in the lot who did receive it. > > But there is no “membership records” per se, or records of ex-members. Just records of specific events which did happen. You’re looking to become an official [apostate](https://www.ewtn.com/expert/answers/heresy_schism_apostasy.htm), but there is no official record of such. The RCC isn’t Homeland Security, sorry. > [@elbows](#): > > Self identify, (to yourself, and to others), as something else, (Agnostic, Buddhist, Druid, Jewish, non believer, etc), and, just like that, VOILA, you’re no longer a Catholic! > > See how easy that was? Yeah, really. You can just walk away, in fact the only method is to just walk away. If someone asks in a survey, we can just just leave it blank or write in whatever it is we actually are. If someone can’t just stop caring about what the Church thinks about them, then maybe they have not made a clean break. It’s not as if the Church will demand that the hospital allow a Priest to your bedside against your wishes as you lie there on the ventilator, or will get acourt injunction against you getting married by a UU minister. Best part of it, you can then ignore people posting “Look, the Catholic Church did/said [bad thing X]; let me hear Catholics condemn it yet justify remaining Catholic!” on any given subject. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/27 "2015-04-19T18:41:29Z")
The number of people who go by the label “recovering Catholic” makes it clear there’s some way in which the “change is forever” as the USMC has it. The OP may be struggling with how to get over that. Or maybe it’s like the McCarthy era’s infamous question: “Are you now, or have you ever been a …” ---
**Author:** ![LH75](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lh75/32/4438_2.png) [@LH75](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LH75)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/28 "2015-04-19T20:09:14Z")
After a very unpleasant argument with the Priest at my last Catholic Church, I walked away and never gave it another thought. They can consider me a member as long as they like. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/29 "2015-04-19T20:29:17Z")
You need to file a form 32-a/3:16 at the Post Office. ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/30 "2015-04-19T22:49:44Z")
Talk to the bishop of your diocese. Offer [del]a big bribe[/del] to make a big donation to charity if he will to the “bell, book, and candle” ceremony for you. ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/31 "2015-04-19T22:54:19Z")
It’s like the Hotel California ---
**Author:** ![AncientHumanoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ancienthumanoid/32/278_2.png) [@AncientHumanoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AncientHumanoid)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2015, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/32 "2015-04-19T22:59:35Z")
If it bothers your conscience, make a public announcement of some kind. Write a letter to the diocese, make a Facebook post, buy a bumper sticker, etc… Otherwise, just not be Catholic. Or…, ask the Mormons to baptize your ancestors. ---
**Author:** ![LSLGuy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lslguy/32/5813_2.png) [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/33 "2015-04-20T00:33:39Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > … Or…, ask the Mormons to baptize your ancestors. I am intrigued by your methods and would like to subscribe to your newsletter. The Mormons and Catholics are both evil organizations; pitting them against each other in this way is awesome. Going for a scorched heaven tactic. Skald would be proud. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/34 "2015-04-20T00:54:24Z")
> [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](#): > > People have said just don’t in anyway participate in it but over the years my dad, mom, myself and my two brothers have come to realize we want nothing to do with it anymore and are trying to see how to officially get out. How do you get your membership revoked basically? Thanks! You click your heals 3 times and say “there’s no place like home”. You then have to play the entire pink floyd album “Dark Side of the Moon” backwards. Done. The Pope will then personally go down into the catacombs and pull your library card. You have to turn in any Catholic school girl uniforms you’ve been using to pleasure yourself with. Or, and I’m just throwing this out, you can do what every other person in your situation did and simply stop going. Either method works. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/35 "2015-04-20T00:54:36Z")
> [@mind\_the\_gap](#): > > Captain, > It ain’t like a gym membership. You can just ignore them. You know, like the white horse.😉 This. I haven’t gone to Mass in decades. I just quit going. Nobody takes attendance. Nobody’s come after me to drag me to Mass. Nobody’s come to me to say I haven’t been to Confession lately. Nobody’s billed me for missed offerings. Really, truly, all you have to do is stop identifying yourself as Catholic. For that matter, you don’t have to identify yourself as anything. It’s nobody’s business. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/36 "2015-04-20T02:00:29Z")
> [@AncientHumanoid](#): > > If it bothers your conscience, make a public announcement of some kind. Write a letter to the diocese, make a Facebook post, buy a bumper sticker, etc… Otherwise, just not be Catholic. Yeah, if it makes you feel better to do something, then do something. Writing a letter to the diocese sounds perfect. Then they can call up the pope who will descend into the deep dusty vault where the giant TOME OF CATHOLICS-NO-MORE is kept and formally inscribe your name with sanctified ink made from walnut shells and Mother Teresa’s urine. ---
**Author:** ![cochrane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cochrane/32/10441_2.png) [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/37 "2015-04-20T02:30:57Z")
> [@John\_Mace](#): > > There is no membership book. You’re thinking of the other guy, who does keep a book. Santa Claus? ---
**Author:** ![JRDelirious](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jrdelirious/32/9531_2.png) [@JRDelirious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JRDelirious)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/38 "2015-04-20T02:59:51Z")
> [@Magiver](#): > > You have to turn in any Catholic school girl uniforms you’ve been using to pleasure yourself with. Why, you can have them when you pry them from my… um, er… nevermind… …nothing, I said!! > [@LSLGuy](#): > > The number of people who go by the label “recovering Catholic” makes it clear there’s some way in which the “change is forever” as the USMC has it. I think see what you mean – it’s easy to get out of catholicism, the problem if any is to get the catholicism out of you? ---
**Author:** ![CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/49beb7/32.png) [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CaptainAmerica_1987)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/39 "2015-04-20T03:10:27Z")
Well what if they come looking for me? They could call us on our phone at home if they wanted too. What would we do or say at that point? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 20, 2015, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/40 "2015-04-20T03:13:28Z")
Are you under the impression that being a lapsed Catholic is like going AWOL from the army; that the clerical MPs are going to show up at your door on a Sunday to drag you to church? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038.md?page=3)