# How to get out of catholicism? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 19, 2015, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038 "2015-04-19T13:49:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/81 "2015-04-21T03:43:13Z")
> [@Kamino\_Neko](#): > > Well, good news, Cap. > > You’re not on any books. There are no membership rolls. The closest thing is the church where you were baptized will have record of that. Right. And once you burn that church to the ground you have nothing left to worry about. What? ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/82 "2015-04-21T03:56:28Z")
> [@CaptainAmerica\_1987](#): > > Well what if they come looking for me? They could call us on our phone at home if they wanted too. What would we do or say at that point? “Hello, Satan speaking - your mother sews socks in Hell” usually works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/83 "2015-04-21T05:41:26Z")
What’s with everyone slamming and making fun of the Catholic church? I’ve known some very good Christians that are Catholics. I’m not Catholic but I consider them my Christian brothers. As I said before, if you want to leave the Catholic church just stop going. We all must take our own spiritual journey. No need to make fun of the process. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/84 "2015-04-21T06:05:20Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > What’s with everyone slamming and making fun of the Catholic church? Who’s doing that? I haven’t even seen a single mention of “child rapists” yet. This thread is total weak sauce. Seems to me that it’s the poor OP that is the butt of the jokes. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 7:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/85 "2015-04-21T07:22:55Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > What’s with everyone slamming and making fun of the Catholic church? I’ve known some very good Christians that are Catholics. I’m not Catholic but I consider them my Christian brothers. > > As I said before, if you want to leave the Catholic church just stop going. We all must take our own spiritual journey. No need to make fun of the process. Because in some ways they make themselves easy targets? I consider them my Christian Brothers as well even if we aren’t in Full Communion with them. But as Zwingli and Melanchthon, not to mention Father Luther himself, would say - something needs changed here. Most other Christian denominations have some process where someone can remove themselves from the roster; many on the national level and most at least on the congregational level. Even many of the Byzantine and other Eastern Catholic churches have some way for a person to formally exit. The Roman version seems to be one of the very few where membership is strictly a one way street. I agree that the OP can simply stop going; sometimes I feel that may be the majority of registered Roman Catholics in this country. But I do understand the need some people have of closing a door behind them before searching for a new door to enter. And if the OP is totally serious or not, I hope they find a way. I think it would be good for them and the church as well. ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/86 "2015-04-21T18:07:28Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > What’s with everyone slamming and making fun of the Catholic church? I’ve known some very good Christians that are Catholics. I’m not Catholic but I consider them my Christian brothers. > > As I said before, if you want to leave the Catholic church just stop going. We all must take our own spiritual journey. No need to make fun of the process. I wasn’t slamming them. I am having trouble taking the OP seriously because if you haven’t attended church in a decade I think you can consider yourself non-Catholic without any other necesary ritual. I am a lapsed Catholic and I probably have a lot less hate for the church than others. I went to Catholic schools for most of my primary and secondary schooling and I think I received a better education than most public schools provided. Smaller classes and hovering nuns also seemed to mean less bullying. Heck, I even had nicer nuns than my older siblings who had the ruler-weilding nuns of lore, my worst teacher was a layperson who I think was a wannabe old-timey nun. I really didn’t experience true bullying until I attended a public school for a year in 6th grade. I also joined a folk group and sang at mass and made some friends in that group and we socialized a lot outside of church. So I didn’t hate my Catholic experience as much as some others but I outgrew it when I got older and started thinking for myself and found I disagreed with most of the teachings. But I do like pancakes and if I still lived close to a Catholic church, I might go back for the occasional pancake breakfast without fear that I will somehow eat the “kool-aid” pancake and get sucked back in. I might even use them as an outlet for charitible donations. They just don’t scare me as much as Scientologists. > [@Martian Bigfoot](#): > > Who’s doing that? I haven’t even seen a single mention of “child rapists” yet. This thread is total weak sauce. > > Seems to me that it’s the poor OP that is the butt of the jokes. I think you missed a few posts because there were plenty of child rapist jokes. Unless that was meant to be a whoosh? ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/87 "2015-04-21T18:14:04Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > Catholic churches don’t take attendance. But if you give them money once, I’m sure you’d remain on the mailing list. However, had someone tried returning one of those envelopes with “no longer at this address” they probably would have stopped sending them because they need that sweet postage to go towards the incense and candle bills. Oh, and pancakes. We\* loves us some pancakes. > > \*Yes, I am Catholic again if pancakes are involved. So I guess you really can never leave. 😛 I’ve never given money to a Catholic parish in a way that involved giving them my address… my mother does, but it doesn’t involve any mailing lists (it does involve getting the parish’s bank account information). There was once a parish which wanted me to sign up for some sort of courses before I could be allowed to read in Mass, another that wanted me to provide proof that I had been baptised in order to “register as a parishioner” (re-whaaaat?); I told them where they could stick their courses and their paperwork. Other than a couple of very indignant old hens, there were no consequences. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/88 "2015-04-21T18:28:08Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I think you missed a few posts because there were plenty of child rapist jokes. Unless that was meant to be a whoosh? There were? I don’t think so. * * * So I just Ctrl-F’ed this thread to confirm, and I don’t see any child raping before I (completely needlessly) brought it up. I think you may be thinking of the next Catholic thread over. On the other hand, there were a couple of anti-Catholic posts that I guess flew past me, so I’ll give you that. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/89 "2015-04-21T19:18:54Z")
> [@Wile\_E](#): > > I think you missed a few posts because there were plenty of child rapist jokes. Unless that was meant to be a whoosh? Actually, a quick scan of the thread [reveals only one, at #71](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=18302801&postcount=71), not counting my lame comment right here: something about young boys wanting not so much to get out of the Catholic Church as to get the Catholic Church out of themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/90 "2015-04-21T19:36:45Z")
> [@eschereal](#): > > Actually, a quick scan of the thread [reveals only one, at #71](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=18302801&postcount=71), not counting my lame comment right here: something about young boys wanting not so much to get out of the Catholic Church as to get the Catholic Church out of themselves. Ah. I did miss that one. Mea culpa. Still fairly mild, though. ---
**Author:** ![TBG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c89c15/32.png) [@TBG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TBG)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2015, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/91 "2015-04-21T21:41:19Z")
If you don’t want to be a Catholic, just don’t be a Catholic. I don’t think they behead you for that or anything. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/92 "2015-04-22T00:24:02Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > What’s with everyone slamming and making fun of the Catholic church? I’ve known some very good Christians that are Catholics. I’m not Catholic but I consider them my Christian brothers. > > As I said before, if you want to leave the Catholic church just stop going. We all must take our own spiritual journey. No need to make fun of the process. Nobody’s making fun of the Catholic church, dude. They’re making jokes. Some of the people doing so are Catholic themselves. I myself am a lapsed Catholic. Chill. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/93 "2015-04-22T00:31:17Z")
I haven’t read the OP or any of the comments, I’m basing this comment on the OP title alone (always a great strategy). Anyway… Q: **How to get out of Catholicism?** A: **Stop calling yourself Catholic.** Is there actually more to it that this? 😕 Honestly. I was raised Roman Catholic. I went to church until I became a teenager, then they (my parents) really couldn’t make me go any longer and I thought it was all garbage anyway. _ **I** _ “got out” of Catholicism by no longer considering myself Catholic, no longer going to mass, and PRESTO! The craziest thing happened! I got out to tell this story! There MUST be a God! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/94 "2015-04-22T03:17:53Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > There was once a parish which wanted me to sign up for some sort of courses before I could be allowed to read in Mass, another that wanted me to provide proof that I had been baptised in order to “register as a parishioner” (re-whaaaat?); I told them where they could stick their courses and their paperwork. Other than a couple of very indignant old hens, there were no consequences. It’s not that big a deal. Any time one registers as a member at a parish, they are asked to fill out when they received the sacraments. You just fill it in; at least here, you aren’t required to produce certificates or anything. And yes, lectors are given training on the significance of what they are doing, and their service. Again, not a big deal. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 3:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/95 "2015-04-22T03:21:28Z")
I was raised Baptist. I asked god for wisdom, you know, like that temple builder king guy. He answered my prayer – by making me an atheist. ---
**Author:** ![jezzaOZ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a9a28c/32.png) [@jezzaOZ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jezzaOZ)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/96 "2015-04-22T03:26:39Z")
The Inquisition could declare someone a non-Catholic even though they were baptised and their fathers before them. Though there were certain side-effects of this. The Conversos in Spain were a particular target for the Spanish Inquisition - the other Inquisitions were more into Heresy (and not Witches I should add) The slight side-effect of being declared non-Catholic? Being burned at the stake. ---
**Author:** ![Princhester](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3e96dc/32.png) [@Princhester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Princhester)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/97 "2015-04-22T03:43:15Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Ways to get out of Catholicism: > > - Try to convert people to Islam when you’re in church > > - Interrupt sermons by shouting “Liar!” > > - Replace the holy water with vodka and the communion wafers with Oreos > > - Announce that as soon as you become a priest, you’ll finally be able to freely molest children > > - Bring your own podium and have a counter-sermon on the other side of the room. Serve punch and pie > > - Color all of the Jesuses on the crucifixes black and tell people that’s what Jesus really looked like > > - Paint pentagrams on the front door of the church in blood > > - Get a bunch of people dressed like witches to follow you around in church and curse people If you do all this, the Catholic Church will consider you to be a Catholic who needs to confess and repent. Ain’t no way it will consider you to no longer be a Catholic. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/98 "2015-04-22T04:07:56Z")
> [@gigi](#): > > It’s not that big a deal. Any time one registers as a member at a parish, they are asked to fill out when they received the sacraments. You just fill it in; at least here, you aren’t required to produce certificates or anything. > > And yes, lectors are given training on the significance of what they are doing, and their service. Again, not a big deal. Neither has been required in any other country where I’ve been, specially the certificates part. In fact, most countries don’t require registration as a parish member, and not every parish in the US does. And whenever I’ve offered to read or hand out Communion in other places, the priest has asked a few questions to verify that I was qualified, he hasn’t informed me that I must take a course. It was also the only time anybody has required a certificate of baptism or confirmation other than as part of the confirmation paperwork - every other time that it was relevant that I’m confirmed, it was “have you taken Confirmation?” “yes” “ok then.” Asking for a certificate means they don’t believe me, which in turn leads to me looking for a parish that’s not managed by donkeys. ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/99 "2015-04-22T05:20:24Z")
> [@Princhester](#): > > If you do all this, the Catholic Church will consider you to be a Catholic who needs to confess and repent. Ain’t no way it will consider you to no longer be a Catholic. This reminds me of a scene from some Irish movie where the camera pans across the small congregation and when it gets to the back, the confessional bursts open with the lay person fleeing as the priest shouts, “_Get out of this church and don’t come back until **you stop doing that**!_” ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2015, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038/100 "2015-04-22T05:34:05Z")
> [@jezzaOZ](#): > > The Conversos in Spain were a particular target for the Spanish Inquisition - the other Inquisitions were more into Heresy (and not Witches I should add) > > The slight side-effect of being declared non-Catholic? Being burned at the stake. I bet they weren’t expecting that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-out-of-catholicism/718038.md?page=6)