# How to get rid of a (human) pest **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 22, 2010, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925 "2010-02-22T00:28:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![hellpaso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecae2f/32.png) [@hellpaso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hellpaso)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/21 "2010-02-22T17:19:00Z")
What about a tip to Adult Protective Services. Tell them about the slap–I would imagine most abused adults would deny it as well. Look what happend to Brooke Astor. ---
**Author:** ![chappachula](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d2c977/32.png) [@chappachula](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chappachula)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/22 "2010-02-22T18:10:17Z")
> [@](#): > > I have an odd feeling that there’s something you’re not telling us, **koufax** definitely…something does not compute the OP said: > [@koufax](#): > > He is paid 5k a month as her driver and caregiver. He and his pals end up going out to VERY expensive dinners with her and she pays for everything. > He also always seems to end up with 2-3 thousand more a month than he is supposed to be getting. My uncle died 3 years ago and they have gone through almost 2 million. 5k plus 2-3 thousand extra ..for 3 years… that’s, umm, 8000 times 36 = 288000, or about a quarter million dollars. Not 2 million. We are missing a mere 1 million 700 thousand dollars…that’s a _LOT_ of dinners ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/23 "2010-02-22T18:13:27Z")
Hmm, interesting problem. Yeah, the money is hers to do with as she wants, but she needs it to last the rest of her life, not be given to Leechy McBummerson there. Have you sat down with her and really talked about all your concerns for her, **koufax** , in terms that you’re concerned about _her_, not just your inheritance? ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/24 "2010-02-22T18:22:30Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Gee on tv it works like this; > > You know he’s a conman. You hire someone to find out every little detail of his past until you find something to blackmail him away with. Bad finances. Outstanding creditors looking for him. Warrants in other locals, another victim coming forward to wise up Auntie, etc. > > Another suggestion; > > Carry out your own scam, along the lines of, “Oh God, Auntie’s lost everything in a bad investment!” and watch how soon the rat jumps the sinking ship. Problem solved. > Ultimately, of course, it’s her wealth, she created it/inherited it, and it’s hers to spend on whatever she chooses. Internet porn, bad investments, boy toys, whatever. It’s not far removed from rich old men getting taken to the cleaners by young hotty gold diggers. Maybe draw the parallel for her, see if it makes a dent. > > Good luck to you this cannot be an easy thing to stand by and watch. Do let us know how it’s going from time to time, please. Not that we care so much about your inheritance, but about your poor Auntie. She didn’t create it. Her husband (my uncle by marriage) did. He created a trust for her nieces and nephews (7 of us) and HIS one niece. And we went to the D.A. and they know all about this asshole but said there is nothing they can do as long as she doesn’t press charges. ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/25 "2010-02-22T18:29:02Z")
Um, did you miss where I wrote “created it/inherited it”. Either way, it’s still hers because he left it to her, with the exception of the trust, of course. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/26 "2010-02-22T18:29:40Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > I have an odd feeling that there’s something you’re not telling us, **koufax**. Where did this guy come from? How did he befriend your aunt? Is it entirely possible that she took him on as a friend because she felt you and brother are circling her like vultures? Do you live with her? Do you have a job? Need more info, bro. The police told us that these guys are everywhere. They find rich widows and move right in. As long as the widow doesn’t file charges and is considered competent, there is nothing that they can do. We were hardly circling like vultures. Like I said above, we liked it that she had friends and was staying busy until we saw the extent that he and his friends were taking advantage of her. With friends like that… And yes, I have a job and all my brothers and sisters are employed. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/27 "2010-02-22T18:33:06Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Hmm, interesting problem. Yeah, the money is hers to do with as she wants, but she needs it to last the rest of her life, not be given to Leechy McBummerson there. Have you sat down with her and really talked about all your concerns for her, **koufax** , in terms that you’re concerned about _her_, not just your inheritance? My brother, who is in charge of all this, has told her over and over that she may live until she is 100 and won’t have any money left. “I don’t care, I want to have fun!” She is also a borderline alcoholic. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/28 "2010-02-22T18:34:55Z")
> [@elbows](#): > > Um, did you miss where I wrote “created it/inherited it”. Either way, it’s still hers because he left it to her, with the exception of the trust, of course. She has already expressed the fact that she wants to break the trust, write a will and leave this fuck 1 million dollars. (which is much more than my share of the trust) ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/29 "2010-02-22T18:43:02Z")
> [@chappachula](#): > > definitely…something does not compute > the OP said: > 5k plus 2-3 thousand extra ..for 3 years… > that’s, umm, 8000 times 36 = 288000, or about a quarter million dollars. Not 2 million. > We are missing a mere 1 million 700 thousand dollars…that’s a _LOT_ of dinners He has a brand new Porsche, she “lent” one of his friends $80,000 dollars (he is an unemployed actor/car salesman), they would go to one the most expensive restaurants in town (and by “town” I mean one of the most expensive cities in the US. They were going to dinner almost every night and the average bill was close to $1,000.00. this asshole would use her AMEX card to buy his starbucks coffee! Our biggest fear now is that when she died, he is going to come forward with some claim that she wanted him to have more. Damn, I am getting upset… ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/30 "2010-02-22T18:45:32Z")
> [@hellpaso](#): > > What about a tip to Adult Protective Services. Tell them about the slap–I would imagine most abused adults would deny it as well. Look what happend to Brooke Astor. She said, “he was just waving away smoke near my face” after she said there was a bug buzzing near her. ---
**Author:** ![Marienee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/73ab20/32.png) [@Marienee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marienee)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/31 "2010-02-22T19:31:57Z")
Go to whatever version of an Ombudsman’s office or Adult Protective Services your jurisdiction has and let them do their thing. Legal Aid often has a unit for legal issues for the elderly, which usually does not have an income qualification but an age guideline. Nice as the legends are about the jolly elderly and their evil heirs who just want their money, elder abuse is a very real phenomenon. See [here](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm) and [here](http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx) for a start. Or just google “elder abuse”. ANd stop with the self-help, vigilante efforts almost always work out badly in my experience. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/32 "2010-02-22T21:00:46Z")
> [@Marienee](#): > > Go to whatever version of an Ombudsman’s office or Adult Protective Services your jurisdiction has and let them do their thing. Legal Aid often has a unit for legal issues for the elderly, which usually does not have an income qualification but an age guideline. Nice as the legends are about the jolly elderly and their evil heirs who just want their money, elder abuse is a very real phenomenon. > > See [here](http://www.helpguide.org/mental/elder_abuse_physical_emotional_sexual_neglect.htm) and [here](http://www.ncea.aoa.gov/ncearoot/Main_Site/index.aspx) for a start. Or just google “elder abuse”. ANd stop with the self-help, vigilante efforts almost always work out badly in my experience. Thanks! And we agree about the vigilante efforts. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/33 "2010-02-22T21:36:19Z")
> [@koufax](#): > > My brother, who is in charge of all this, has told her over and over that she may live until she is 100 and won’t have any money left. > > “I don’t care, I want to have fun!” > > She is also a borderline alcoholic. I have to say if I have the energy at 92 to go out and party all night at the best restaurants and could afford it, I think I would too! Look, the likelihood of her reaching 100 is pretty low, and she has the right to spend her money as she wishes. Yes, I think it’s commendable that you and your brother keep an eye out for her personal safety and long term finances so that she is cared for to the end of her days - but there’s quite an element of ‘she’s spending my money’ in this thread. Follow up the suspicion of abuse as others have suggested, but act like there will be nothing for you to inherit, after all it’s not a given until she’s gone anyway. ---
**Author:** ![koufax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/7ea924/32.png) [@koufax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koufax)\ **Post date:** [February 22, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925/34 "2010-02-22T22:07:34Z")
> [@Girl\_From\_Mars](#): > > I have to say if I have the energy at 92 to go out and party all night at the best restaurants and could afford it, I think I would too! > > Look, the likelihood of her reaching 100 is pretty low, and she has the right to spend her money as she wishes. Yes, I think it’s commendable that you and your brother keep an eye out for her personal safety and long term finances so that she is cared for to the end of her days - but there’s quite an element of ‘she’s spending my money’ in this thread. Follow up the suspicion of abuse as others have suggested, but act like there will be nothing for you to inherit, after all it’s not a given until she’s gone anyway. No, it is HE (and his merry band of men) who are spending MY money on themselves. She can spend all she wants and live it up. And thank you all for making me feel guilty about an inheritance that most likely I will never see a dime of. Wahhhhhhhhhh!! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-get-rid-of-a-human-pest/529925.md?page=1)