# How to grocery shop (Since there seems to be some confusion): A rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [April 3, 2012, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663 "2012-04-03T03:02:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/41 "2012-04-03T14:00:47Z")
Yeah, excellent rant. Good feeling, clear, precise, accurate, heart-felt, to the point. 10/10. > [@Broomstick](#): > > Personally, I’m with you on that one, but having worked retail now all I can say is you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If give the change first then the bills a certain percentage of people are going to go apeshit over it. There is no way to hand back the change that won’t piss someone off. Ah! OK, I feel really stupid for not having realised that 🙂 I, too, feel annoyed when I get an amorphous mass of notes and coins in my hand. But if some people really do prefer that, I guess there is no way to do it well. Can you think of anything cusomers could do to make it easier? I mean, I usually pay by card, but if I do pay by cash I have my wallet right there open with the change compartment open, and if I get coins, then cash, I can tip the coins into the wallet, fold the cash, and put the whole thing away in about four seconds, but I suppose for some people it’s a major operation. I mean, I do really hate myself for holding queues, but it seems everyone holds up queues for a few seconds at some point, and if I have to pour the undifferentiated change into my pocket, haul up all the bags, walk outside, put all the bags down on the sidewalk, get the change out, put it away properly, I’m going to hate that too (and there’s not usually anywhere convenient to put everything down while I sort things out – I’m fortunate that I’m spry enough to easily put everything on the floor, but I imagine some people aren’t). Sorry for the derail, it’s just something that’s been on my mind (although now I almost always pay in card or exact change, so it doesn’t matter). ---
**Author:** ![mkecane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9e8a1a/32.png) [@mkecane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mkecane)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/42 "2012-04-03T14:00:56Z")
_Don’t do what **Johnny Don’t** does._ ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/43 "2012-04-03T14:08:05Z")
Great rant! The grocery store is part of the epidemic of people not knowing how to act in public in general (see also: airports, malls, theaters, etc.), combined with a lack of respect for service employees whom many consider to be “below” them. I can suck it up and put up with these morons for an hour a week, but I don’t envy those of you that have to do so hour after hour, day after day, week after week. Hopefully you may take some small comfort in the knowledge that at least a few of us out there are trying to make things as easy for you as possible. ---
**Author:** ![Sicks\_Ate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/258eb7/32.png) [@Sicks\_Ate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sicks_Ate)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/44 "2012-04-03T14:11:15Z")
Must jump in with a rule I’m surprised hasn’t already come up: Rules for cart traffic are exactly the same as rules for vehicle traffic! Traffic in the ‘main street’ aisle has the right-of-way over traffic entering from a ‘side aisle’. At a ‘T’ intersection, the carts in the top of the ‘T’ have the ROW. At a store like Wal-Mart or Target that has wide aisles with displays in the middle, traffic moves on the right. Always. If the aisle you need to get to is on the left and blocked by a display, you pass the aisle, turn around the display, and then into your chosen aisle. Oh yeah, you do not need to parallel park your cart directly in front of the meat cooler in order to see which package of chicken legs you want. There is a ton of room in front of most meat coolers; park a cart-width away so that other people can see/get to the meat. Same goes for produce racks. If you park in front of the rack and contemplate the turnips for 2 minutes, I WILL reach right in front of you (and say ‘excuse me’) to get my desired lettuce. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/45 "2012-04-03T14:25:34Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > Another whine: I was shopping recently, and the line got held up for 5 minutes while a clueless idiot kept trying to use the same card over and over again. Then we all had to wait while he argued with the cashier, and called his bank to verify whether he was trying to pay with a credit card (which that store does not accept) or a debit card. Naturally, it was a credit card. That’s so bizarre. If a store accepts debit cards, why wouldn’t it accept credit? ---
**Author:** ![Mauvaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mauvaise/32/11084_2.png) [@Mauvaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mauvaise)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/46 "2012-04-03T14:26:27Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > As a woman who uses a purse with a wallet in it, no, it’s not more convenient. I’d rather put the bills away first, and then open my change compartment and put away the coins. I’m the same way, but what I do is take an extra 3 seconds and push my cart away from register aisle with my change & receipts & coupons and over to the far wall and organize everything to my heart’s content. I hate when people linger at the register putting everything away - I want to get up to the little card reader, put in my payment, and then start bagging my groceries, but I can’t do that if someone is standing in the way. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/47 "2012-04-03T14:27:06Z")
A few things from the customers point of view. Don’t stack my change, and the receipt, on top of the bills when handing it to me. Give it to me one at a time. See, I only have one hand, and I have to put down my wallet to separate the pile into what goes where. Fix the damn carts that wobble, squeal and pull hard left when pushed. I suggest you walk around the neighborhood and retrieve the good ones from the homeless people who apparently push test them before they steal them. And, when I’m in the 10 item or less line, and the person in front of me has basket full of crap, please hold up 10 fingers and explain how many 10 is to that person. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/48 "2012-04-03T14:28:29Z")
> [@SticksAndString](#): > > Overall a ten. > > Mind if I add something? > If you’re GOING to pay for a hundred dollars worth of items in change, please do the people behind you as well as the cashier a favor and either roll it before go shopping or take it to the bank and exchange it for paper money. NOBODY likes it when you stand there counting out a hundred dollars in unrolled pennies. NOBODY. And chances are the cashier’s manager is going to be pissed at the cashier for having so much change in their drawer (I had several managers that were that way). Just because you CAN pay with a gallon sized ziploc baggie stuffed with pennies doesn’t mean you SHOULD. Contrarilywise, if you are buying something for $5 don’t pay with a [CENSORED] $100 bill. In the department store I worked at we only started with $100 cash in the register, mostly in coins and singles, and if we hadn’t had any cash sales the only way we could get change was to run up to the cash office (in a 5 floor store) and beg them to break it for us. The nice people at the bank will give you small bills, and it’ll make your cash loaf look that much fatter than just a skinny stack of Benjamins. ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/49 "2012-04-03T14:33:26Z")
> [@Snowboarder\_Bo](#): > > Okay, let me add one from the the other side of the register tho: I don’t need every fucking item to have it’s own goddamn bag. If it’ll all fit in one bag, just gimme one fucking bag. > > And no, I don’t care if it’s a non-food item in with food items. That roll of paper towels or container of Windex isn’t going to contaminate the fucking box of cookies. Just put it all in the bag and lemme get outta there without more of those shitty plastic bags than I need. > > (Sorry, but I don’t always bring my own bags to the store. Sometimes, but not all the time. And yes I recycle the plastic ones regularly.) Yes, this. I have no idea why nearly every item has to get its own bag. I always tell the bagger to fill up the bag as much as possible, unless it’s eggs or bread. Those can be separate. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/50 "2012-04-03T14:52:32Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > > [@Snowboarder Bo \[/quote](#): > > > > Okay, let me add one from the the other side of the register tho: I don’t need every fucking item to have it’s own goddamn bag. If it’ll all fit in one bag, just gimme one fucking bag. > > > > And no, I don’t care if it’s a non-food item in with food items. That roll of paper towels or container of Windex isn’t going to contaminate the fucking box of cookies. Just put it all in the bag and lemme get outta there without more of those shitty plastic bags than I need. > > > > (Sorry, but I don’t always bring my own bags to the store. Sometimes, but not all the time. And yes I recycle the plastic ones regularly.) > > Yes, this. I have no idea why nearly every item has to get its own bag. I always tell the bagger to fill up the bag as much as possible, unless it’s eggs or bread. Those can be separate. Obligatory [XKCD cartoon.](http://xkcd.com/990/) ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/51 "2012-04-03T14:56:37Z")
> [@Machine\_Elf](#): > > Yes, this. I have no idea why nearly every item has to get its own bag. I always tell the bagger to fill up the bag as much as possible, unless it’s eggs or bread. Those can be separate. Obligatory [XKCD cartoon.](http://xkcd.com/990/) [/QUOTE] Love it. I really need to start bringing my own bag. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/52 "2012-04-03T15:00:49Z")
Might I add: If you plan to buy more than one or two items PICK UP A BASKET OR GET A CART. And if you refuse to do this, that does not mean you don’t have to wait your turn. the other night I was putting items from the cart onto the belt when a couple came up and started slamming down items on the belt - completely ignoring the fact that I still had half a cart to empty and was filling space as fast as it appeared. When I said ‘do you mind?’ The first gave me the stink eye and then muttered about how all the stuff they were carrying was heavy. Too bad! They tried several more times to shove items onto the belt before I was done. I was sorely tempted to beat them to death with an energy drink can. Oddly enough, for all that they were carrying, they could have gone to the express line. ---
**Author:** ![aerodave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f08c70/32.png) [@aerodave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aerodave)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/53 "2012-04-03T15:01:36Z")
> [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](#): > > [ul] > [li]You rolled that cart out to the parking lot as a convenient way to transport your groceries. When you’re done with it, roll it on back up to the store or put it in the little cart corral thingie if the store has one in the parking lot. Do not just let it hang out in the parking lot on its own.[/li][/ul] > Those carts can damage cars if the wind blows or someone bumps it or some ghostie comes flying by it causing it to roll. Several years ago I heard a grocery manager say that those carts start at about $150 each so letting them get damaged or stolen is another way to jack up prices. But mostly I don’t want it hitting my car. This should be instituted as part of some sort of Orwellian brainwashing program. Whatever it takes to make it stop. it’s pretty damned high on my list of pet peeves. I think people who abandon carts in the middle of parking lots will be surprised when they die to find that their corner of hell is right next to Hitler and the child molesters. “But what did I do?!” “Well, that shopping cart thing was a bigger deal than you thought, apparently.” I’ve always said that if I ever suffer a psychotic break, it will take the form of camping atop a Wal-Mart with a sniper rifle and picking off people the moment it’s apparent that they are abandoning their cart. I realize the flaw in this plan is that I’ll only get to do one before the jig is up. But I’m psychotic, not sensible, okay? I guess the fallback plan is to follow the offenders back to their houses and choke them to death when they exit their cars. I think I could do that serially. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/54 "2012-04-03T15:03:56Z")
We use our own bags most of the time, but from time to time we’ll intentionally leave them at home, since the plastic grocery bags are vey handy for disposing of cat poop. So, the more bags, the better! My usual store also has automatic change dispensers facing the customer. So the cashier hands over the bills and you grab the coins yourself. Nobody gets to complain about what order they were stacked. ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/55 "2012-04-03T15:04:31Z")
As a former 12-year vet of the retail grocery business, I wholeheartedly endorse everything in the OP. I would add: **Please finish shopping BEFORE you get in line**. If you forgot one or two things and you have a whole bunch of stuff, go ahead and run to get it. But the assholes who park their cart in the checkout lane, then immediately run off and come back 5 minutes later with an armful of stuff, dump it on the conveyor, then go back for more: FUCK. YOU. As a checker I would tolerate this the first trip, but when you went back for more, I’d cancel your transaction, dump your shit back into your cart and put it off to the side. I will check you out when you _actually_ finish shopping. > [@Wheelz](#): > > I can suck it up and put up with these morons for an hour a week, but I don’t envy those of you that have to do so hour after hour, day after day, week after week. Hopefully you may take some small comfort in the knowledge that at least a few of us out there are trying to make things as easy for you as possible. It’s a _terrible_ job. There were some customers who were cool, and the majority of them were neither good nor bad, they just wanted to get out of there (honestly, these were the best ones; just stand there, STFU, and pay), but the assholes and idiots just ruined it, even if it were just a couple of them a day. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Miskatonic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mr.miskatonic/32/310_2.png) [@Mr.Miskatonic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Miskatonic)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/56 "2012-04-03T15:04:31Z")
> [@aerodave](#): > > I’ve always said that if I ever suffer a psychotic break, it will take the form of camping atop a Wal-Mart with a sniper rifle and picking off people the moment it’s apparent that they are abandoning their cart. **I realize the flaw in this plan is that I’ll only get to do one before the jig is up..** I dunno about that, given the Wal-Mart we have near us. I think they feel that noticing the dead bodies in the parking lot would be too pro-active. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/57 "2012-04-03T15:11:29Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Can we sticky this as a “how to Pit” thread? Agreed. This is one of the rare Pit threads where absolutely no one has turned it around and attacked the OP. This is a thing of beauty. ---
**Author:** ![Sally\_Mander](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e56c9b/32.png) [@Sally\_Mander](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sally_Mander)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/58 "2012-04-03T15:36:05Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > Yes, this. I have no idea why nearly every item has to get its own bag. I always tell the bagger to fill up the bag as much as possible, unless it’s eggs or bread. Those can be separate. In their defense, the cashiers and baggers are trained to do that, to protect against cross-contamination. Raw meat gets its own bag, fruits and veggies get their own bag, cleaning products must be separated from any food products, etc. Yes, it’s terribly wasteful, but it’s not like it’s an evil plot by the bag manufacturers to boost sales. > [@aerodave](#): > > I’ve always said that if I ever suffer a psychotic break, it will take the form of camping atop a Wal-Mart with a sniper rifle and picking off people the moment it’s apparent that they are abandoning their cart. I realize the flaw in this plan is that I’ll only get to do one before the jig is up. If you tried it at the Wal-Mart near me, I bet you could pick off at least a dozen before the cops show up. And if I were on your jury, I’d vote “Not Guilty.” ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/59 "2012-04-03T15:37:59Z")
**The store closes when the store closes**. Don’t walk in 5 minutes before the posted closing time and think you can shop for an hour. Yes, coming in and shopping after 900PM can be great, and frankly I would encourage people to do it. There will be no crowds, no old people, no children, and you’ll more frequently than not have no wait at checkout. However, if the store closes at 1100PM, _that’s the time you need to at least be checking out_. I don’t care that you walked in the door before closing time, it is now past that time and I am going to either check you out right now, or I will lock you in here with the nightstockers (who can’t check you out) and leave. Your choice. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 3, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663/60 "2012-04-03T15:38:46Z")
If it was me, they’d never get to a cart. My peeve is people who can’t park inside the lines in the lot. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-grocery-shop-since-there-seems-to-be-some-confusion-a-rant/617663.md?page=4)