Thank you all for the good advice. sniff I’ll freeze Jake when the boy is away at Grandma’s. I hate being grown up and having to make decisions like this 
Sorry about Jake, HDS…poor little guy.
Sorry about your little guy! I too have a betta, and for reasons unknown I’ve gotten really attatched to that silly thing. Bocephus has the biggest most beautiful flowing blue fins that I’ve ever seen on a betta. I just like to watch him swim around.
Anyway, I’ve always heard that freezing was the most humane idea. And I think that flushing is a BAD way to go in terms of humane-ness. Because you know those dechlorinating drops you have to put in the water? One time I was cleaning out my ex-betta’s bowl and forgot to put those drops in the clean water, and I didn’t realize it until I noticed that he was having spasms in the bowl. I bet that’s what it would be like with toilet water.
I’ve had my betta, Bloob, for about three years now. I have no idea how long they live. He was one of those “fish in a plant” fish that was given to my sister. She didn’t want him and pawned him off him to me. My sympathies for Jake.
StG
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Flushing is a bad idea not only because of the fish but also because it contributes to wastewater contamination. They can’t get everything out at the treatment plant, you know. And I know at least one fish disease (tuberculosis) is transmissible to humans.
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As for the euthanization, baking soda really is the way to go, IMO. In fact, in smaller amounts and for less time than used to euthanize, it’s approved by the FDA (or some government agency) as an anesthetic for fish, IIRC. (I’ve actually used it that way when trying to determine the nature of a wound on one of our fishes. After we put him back in regular tank water for a few minutes, he woke up and was fine.)
We’ve tried several things (DON’T do the vodka thing unless you want to see your fish have a seizure!), but the baking soda thing seems to work the best. They get a bit disoriented before they lose consciousness, but that’s to be expected.
Important note: It may be too late for your Jake (or maybe not), but in the future, if you have a fish that has physical damage like ripped finnage or a gash, try treating the water with Melafix. That stuff is like magic and really helps wounds to heal quickly and without problems. It’s made from tea tree oil.
Another important note: Ripped finnage does not necessarily mean a death sentence for a betta. When the males fight in nature, they rip each others’ fins. You might want to get some Melafix, keep the water really clean, keep the temp about 80, make sure he has open access to the surface so he can breathe, and see if he’ll heal. (Betta finnage does take some time to heal, though.) Fish really can go quite a while without eating, but if you want him to eat, tempt him with some live or frozen foods.
Poor fishy. Poor y’all. I have an oddly-colored Betta that I got for Solstice, and he’s already my buddy. I like my Pleco more, but I’m a strange bird.
I’ve never had to put down a fish, but there are two animals I know how to put down: rats and snakes. (Humane - least humane ways that one can do at home.)
Rats:
-CO2. Dry ice, a box (rigged so the rat can’t get to the DI), and the rat. Sleepy time. Never tried.
-Spinal dismwfwh (not dislocation, I don’t think. Some wierd word.) Involved pinning the neck to a counter and jerking on the tail, separating (seperating?) the spine fron the brain. Er. Never tried it.
-Pillow case and a wall. Instant death, if you do it right (which I do). Rarely even a twitch (except with the monsters, goddamn).
Freezing rats is horrible, which is why the idea of freezing anything makes me shudder.
Snakes:
-Taking off the head.
That’s about it, since you can’t CO2 them (Snakes have either one good lung and one little lung that’s pretty much udeless, or one good lung) - they can live for a long time in oxygen-deprived environment.
Freezing is, again, pretty mean.
Personally, I’d go for a thump on the wall or decapitation. But that’s just due to my personal history with putting down animals at home. And freezing anything just gives me the screaming mimis.
Thank you for the good advice, skeptic_ev. I think he has swim bladder - he can’t swim right and sinks to the bottom (hence the lying against his plant.) My poor little guy.
I have to second what skeptic_ev had to say. Don’t give up on your fishie just yet.
When my son was two, he accidentally pulled our betta Spot’s tank off of my desk. I heard the awful crash, and got there just in time to see my child trying frantically to scoop up a flopping fish off of the rug. Poor Spot got knocked around quite a bit, but he was still with us, and I put him in another bowl. He swam listlessly on his side, revealing badly mangled finnage and missing scales. My son was very distraught that he had hurt the fish. I had to try my best to help Spot, if I could.
Melafix is great stuff, if you have it, but Splendid Betta’s Betta Remedy is another option that also has the tea tree oil. I added Betta Remedy to Spot’s water, plus some Doc Wellfish’s aquarium salts. I put him in a quiet place, away from kid traffic, and he perked up within a few days. His fins eventually grew back, but with fewer of the tiny blue dots that earned him his name. The new finnage is solid blue. We still have him a year and a half later.
Sorry about your fish. It’s so easy to get attached to the little guys.
–Kris
Boiling? Freezing? Dry Ice?
Just put the muzzle of the rifle behind his little fishy ear and let go.
If it was good enough for ole’ yeller, dagnabit, then it’s good enough for a fish.
Hm. So that’s why they call you ExTank.
I honestly never know when to take you serious.
This suggestion really cracked me up, coffee all over my monitor…and it’s a new one you bastard.
My kid, husband, and a friend had a goldfish swallowing contest after my young’un won a bunch of 'em at a carnival. Kalhoun Jr. just couldn’t choke one of the little squirmers down. But the manly men were eating them like popcorn.
We get a large bag of 'em at the movies. With extra butter.
If I had my choice (as a human - or a fish for that matter), I’d take the alcohol poisoning over freezing to death any day. It has advantages for both the condemned & the executioner:
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You can finally get rid of that cheap, 1.75 liter, plastic bottle of vodka your tight-wad brother-in-law paid a whopping $2.99 for & brought to your Labor Day BBQ 3 years ago…the one you won’t even use to make Bloody Marys with.
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The alcohol will clean the dirty gravel, filter and tank if you want to sell it at your next garage sale.
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The painful hangover symptoms are substituted with death
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Flirting, giggling, singing, telling stupid jokes whilst forgetting the punch lines, hiccupping & speech-slurring sounds like a much more pleasant way to go.
I have to admit you have me there, especially with that last point. Maybe I’ll keep a bottle around and see if it works for idle threats, I have a kribensis who just ate a batch of her babies and looks pretty smug about it.
Blender
No seriously, freezing. Long long ago I had to get rid of some overly agressive fish in the middle of a cold snap. Net, window, -20 degree weather. Very very fast.