# How to investigate someone online, without paying a fortune **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912 "2010-11-08T16:00:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Lillith\_Fair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/bb73d2/32.png) [@Lillith\_Fair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lillith_Fair)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/21 "2010-11-08T20:20:03Z")
You’ll actually find this surprising, but I really have very little contact with my nephew at all. My sister was divorced from his dad who had brainwashed her. She let him take all three boys. Many years have passed, she is remarried and has a 4th son who is @ 10. So I have only seen my older three nephews occasionally over the years. I think I am being like a dog with a bone. If my sister is willing to drop it I guess I should be, too. Thanks for your responses, and I await the one response from the person I was messaging with privately. ---
**Author:** ![lalenin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@lalenin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lalenin)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/22 "2010-11-08T20:33:34Z")
If you have a first and last name, and city this might be a place to start: [http://www.veromi.net/processor.asp](http://www.veromi.net/processor.asp) ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/23 "2010-11-08T20:35:17Z")
If he has no money to lose or his life isn’t in danger I suppose this will be a learning experience for him. How else does a person learn to assess another’s reliability without being stung a few times? I think most of us have to take our hard knocks in this department until we “get it.” And a lesson learned on one’s own always sticks better than one where all negative consequences are taken care of by someone else. That said, ouch! It’s really miserable to watch someone you care for make a dumb mistake. My experience in things of mad love is that there’s little you can do or say which will make a difference when a person is in that trance and it’s delusional. It feels good. It feels good to create a “relationship” with a distant person you haven’t met who seems to be admiring. No living problems, just all the good stuff. Could get to be a habit without a little backlash. I wish him well and I wish him some positive lesson out of this strange-sounding situation. ---
**Author:** ![ZipperJJ](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zipperjj/32/211_2.png) [@ZipperJJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZipperJJ)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/24 "2010-11-08T20:51:10Z")
You can get information on Virginia court cases [here](http://www.courts.state.va.us/). Use the links under “Court status and information” on the left. Just go through all the various courts and put the lady’s last name in. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/25 "2010-11-08T20:51:46Z")
Assuming it’s a scam of some kind there are people that do this just for the hell of it with no monetary gain in mind, but that’s a minority. The kid (to be blunt) sounds kind of slow witted. The problem is even if he does not have lots of cash he can probably qualify for a loan for few thousand dollars. There will invariably be some “cash emergency” on her part requiring a money order or cash to be wired for her to come to him. Tell him to expect the request. ---
**Author:** ![aruvqan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aruvqan/32/2891_2.png) [@aruvqan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aruvqan)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/26 "2010-11-08T21:12:31Z")
> [@Lillith\_Fair](#): > > I think the goals are: I don’t want him to be hurt and I don’t want him to lose money. Okay, he has no money to lose. He does not come from a background of money. There is nothing for this girl to get from him unless she is trying to get the medical benefits of the spouse of a person in the military. > > So, I do not want him to be hurt. If I found out the truth and tell him it will appear that I was the one who did the harm. And he will be embarrassed. I guess eventually the truth will come out. His credit. They marry, he gives her a power of attorney then gets shipped over seas. She sells everything in the apartment, puts the car in her name, gets every credit card she gets an application in the mail for, maxes them all out, empties the bank account and files for divorce. Everything is legal, she has his power of attorney. She has now cleaned him out - if he had just re-upped and got a bonus [some MOS the reup bonus is $30K, 15 up front and 15 over time is frequently how it is paid out] Or she stays married, lives off his income and screws around with everybody else while he is deployed. I knew a guy in Va Beach who had a very custom waterbed. He picked up a hitchhiker who conversed about the hot babe he banged the previous weekend and her incredible bed … and the other 3 guys that were involved in the gang bang. It only cost him $150, just like the other 3 guys … [Larry was a marine that was doing a part time gig at the same security company I worked for to pay for the divorce. After he confronted her, she cleaned him out and vanished.] ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/27 "2010-11-08T23:03:13Z")
You are trying to protect your grown nephew? That’s admirable, but sometimes the best lessons in life we learn by going through them. Try not to be an “I told you so” when he gets burned. ---
**Author:** ![Zjestika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/8edcca/32.png) [@Zjestika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zjestika)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/28 "2010-11-08T23:23:50Z")
3 Facebook friends! What a huge red flag of a fake account! Why isn’t the best friend with the suicidal uncle a fb friend? If the kid’s going to ignore that there’s really going to be no convincing him. ---
**Author:** ![dzero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5f9b8f/32.png) [@dzero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dzero)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/29 "2010-11-09T03:25:34Z")
[spokeo.com](http://spokeo.com) is a good start, but will probably need to go to something like [intellius.com](http://intellius.com) for more detailed info. Spokeo I think mainly aggregates data from social networking sites. Intellius can be much more in depth depending on what you’re willing to spend. ---
**Author:** ![Gilliver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/5fc32e/32.png) [@Gilliver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gilliver)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2010, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912/30 "2010-11-09T19:44:23Z")
who are you going to investigate? the name on the fake facebook account? what makes you think that is a real name? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-investigate-someone-online-without-paying-a-fortune/559912.md?page=1)