# How to make friends with the neighbors? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 21, 2010, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275 "2010-03-21T22:21:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/21 "2010-03-22T20:39:22Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > What you want to do is get them to notice you. There are many ways to accomplish this. > > After dark, sneak over and peek into their windows so you can see what sorts of things they have. That way you’ll have something to talk about. Do this a few times and when you’re finished spying, tap on the window and quickly run away. Make sure they don’t see you, that’s half the surprise! They’ll be like kids at Christmas, wondering who has taken an interest in them! > > If you see them out in their yard, try to get some pictures of them and then put one in their mailbox every night. They’ll be going crazy with curiosity, wondering who their admirers are! > > If you have a dog, walk it past their house and encourage it to “do potty” on their lawn. That way you’ll have an excuse to linger and hope they come out to chat. > > With just a little ingenuity and imagination, you’ll have two best friends in no time! My cat is looking at me oddly as I laugh. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tastes_of_chocolate/32/3232_2.png) [@Tastes\_of\_Chocolate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tastes_of_Chocolate)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/22 "2010-03-22T22:24:10Z")
We moved 2 years ago, into an odd little area containing 5 houses that are kind of seperated from everyone else. Last year, for National Night Out, we invited all of our neighbors over for a very informal drink-and-fingerfood get together. National Night Out is billed as an evening to get to know your neighbors, in the interest of controlling local crime. It was a ready made excuse to meet the neighbors. We just walked to each house a couple of weeks beforehand, range the doorbell, introduced ourselves and let them know what we were doing. We’re not planning on becoming buddies with any of our neighbors, but earlier this winter, one knocked on the door and offered us a pair of tickets to a show they weren’t able to attend. Another neighbor and I swap “pick up the mail and watch the house” favors while someone is on vacation. I think we’ll do the same thing this year. One afternoon/evening chatting with the neighbors seems like a great way to meet them. ---
**Author:** ![Valgard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/7feea3/32.png) [@Valgard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Valgard)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/23 "2010-03-22T22:58:23Z")
When I moved in I just knocked on my neighbors’ doors and introduced myself. “Hi, I’m Valgard and I just moved into the house on the corner.” No big deal. Ice is broken. Say hi when you see them on the street, if they don’t seem creepy invite them over for a BBQ, that kind of thing. ---
**Author:** ![MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MPB\_in\_Salt\_Lake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MPB_in_Salt_Lake)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/24 "2010-03-22T23:13:48Z")
> [@FloatyGimpy](#): > > After dark, sneak over and peek into their windows so you can see what sorts of things they have. That way you’ll have something to talk about. Do this a few times and when you’re finished spying, tap on the window and quickly run away. Make sure they don’t see you, that’s half the surprise! They’ll be like kids at Christmas, wondering who has taken an interest in them… Bravo sir—Funniest thing I have read on SDMB in a good couple of weeks!!! ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [March 22, 2010, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/25 "2010-03-22T23:23:28Z")
You know you’ve lived in the [upper northeast](http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=new+englanders+%22keep+to+themselves%22&start=0&sa=N) all your life when you read the subject line and your first thought is “Why would you want to do that?” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/dec6dc/32.png) [@Picard\_Kills\_Kirk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Picard_Kills_Kirk)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/26 "2010-03-23T00:10:24Z")
Wow, thanks for all the great replies. I know it seems like simple advice, but I think the line between creepy and friendly is a pretty thin one, and we definitely don’t want to end up on the wrong side. Fortunately though, they aren’t our only neighbors. So if things go well, we can just experiment on the rest of the neighborhood. I’ll try **FloatyGimpy’s** idea on the next neighbors.😃 ---
**Author:** ![Tethered\_Kite](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a5b964/32.png) [@Tethered\_Kite](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tethered_Kite)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/27 "2010-03-23T00:18:01Z")
> [@lieu](#): > > To each his own but I do kinda embrace **Dinsdale** ’s attitude myself. I try to be a good neighbor and very friendly and helpful to everyone but also keep relationships at the curb for the most part. It just really seems to work well that way. We have become pretty much best friends with some neighbors but they were around the corner and that took several years before it really blossomed into what it is now. > > I wish all neighbors were considerate enough when someone’s new to do what ours did last week. We just moved into a new neighborhood. Our next door neighbors gave us a week to unpack and get settled, then the mother and daughter stopped by to introduce themselves and give us a beautiful vase of flowers and a large chocolate chip cookie with “Welcome to Lakewood” written in icing. They were wonderful, gave us their numbers for if we needed a sitter and I’m thrilled to have someone so thoughtful so near. > > I’m keeping their actions and the degree to which we appreciated them in mind for when the next person moves in around us. I grew up with this tradition and followed it in my early married life. What I didn’t know yet about some people’s lifestyles! Now I wave and am friendly if there’s an opportunity, but I save the big welcome for when I’m a little more sure of what I am welcoming. We have an annual block party in our neighborhood and it has definitely improved the safety, atmosphere and comfort for all of us. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/28 "2010-03-23T06:56:54Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Thanks for posting this OP! > > I just moved in to a 4-unit townhouse. My birthday is in a few weeks, and so my SO suggested we throw a combo open house/birthday thing for our friends - where they can stop by between 2-6 and see the new place, chat a bit, and then go on with their merry lives. > > Since our parking lot is small and some of our friends might inadvertently park in the wrong place, I was planning on inviting the neighbors/giving them my phone number in case there were any problems. > > Of course, I never actually see any of the neighbors so far. And I’m usually pretty outgoing - but I get incredibly shy around neighbors for some reason. What you are talking about doing is something I saw in Germany quite a bit! In apartment houses, when someone was planning a party, I have seen little notes on the door handles (sometimes with a tiny bottle of schnaps like you used to get on airplanes) and it would say, “We are having a party this Saturday - please stop by if you like, but if not, please forgive any noise - the party goes from 10 until 2.” It was a great way of letting the neighbors know why the crowd going up and down the stairs and they could plan accordingly - and often, neighbors would show up just to see what is going on. I thought it was a cool idea. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2010, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275/29 "2010-03-23T12:58:56Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > What you are talking about doing is something I saw in Germany quite a bit! > In apartment houses, when someone was planning a party, I have seen little notes on the door handles (sometimes with a tiny bottle of schnaps like you used to get on airplanes) and it would say, “We are having a party this Saturday - please stop by if you like, but if not, please forgive any noise - the party goes from 10 until 2.” > It was a great way of letting the neighbors know why the crowd going up and down the stairs and they could plan accordingly - and often, neighbors would show up just to see what is going on. > I thought it was a cool idea. Ooh - I like that idea even better. Thanks! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-friends-with-the-neighbors/533275.md?page=1)