# How to make yourself look stupid at Wal-Mart.

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-yourself-look-stupid-at-wal-mart/23660>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [June 27, 2000, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-yourself-look-stupid-at-wal-mart/23660 "2000-06-27T01:29:35Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 3\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![Sylence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b19c9b/32.png) [@Sylence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylence)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-yourself-look-stupid-at-wal-mart/23660/21 "2000-06-28T01:55:12Z")

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Another one of my favorites is lining up in the wrong line with a shopping cart . . . you know, the cart goes on one side and you walk around the other side? For some reason I can’t quite figure that out.  
– Sylence

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**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-yourself-look-stupid-at-wal-mart/23660/22 "2000-06-28T02:10:16Z")

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**TIME TO DECLARE WAL-MARTIAL LAW**

As in, they come in and invade, so, anything goes…

On a WallyWorld excursion, my friend _B_ and I (for those in a loop, it’s the same guy of Weekly World News fame) went in and were shopping for hardware. Except _B_, being a performance geek, had brought along his “camera”, which was a cardboard painted replica of a 20’s vintage camera. He would point it at people and ask questions, and the weird thing is, people would act as if it were a \* real\* camera! They’d actually laugh and tell their stories. Well, the Wal-cops didn’t like this action, and started trailing us. For a minute, I was embarrassed, but then figured that they had put themselves in the position as the modern day market bizarre, so they could just deal. The Wal-Dick was really getting off on his role though, after following and peeking behind the shelves, and when _B_ finally turned the cardboard camera on him and asked him what it was like to be a WallyWorld D-Squad, twas all over. Escorted to the door. And I ain’t embarrassed at all.

Hee!

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**Author:** ![eggo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@eggo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eggo)\
**Post date:** [June 28, 2000, 6:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-make-yourself-look-stupid-at-wal-mart/23660/23 "2000-06-28T06:04:28Z")

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Insist that you KNOW they have the dollar coins, and you want some.  
“Sir, what makes you think we have them?”  
“I heard it on the internet…”  
she hits an unseen button under the counter, and three men in wal-mart smocks approach.  
“no realy, i did! on the SDMB.”  
“right sir… SBMD uh huh.” making frantic motions for the guys to ‘get him!’  
I notice them coming and bolt for the door. They tackle me, beat me up, steal my wallet, and my shoes.

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