# How to order food **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [June 13, 2019, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498 "2019-06-13T21:57:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/21 "2019-06-14T09:40:40Z")
> [@running\_coach](#): > > What’s the proper way to order food in prison? Well, if you’re on death row and it’s your last meal you order a McRib and a Shamrock shake. mmm ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 10:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/22 "2019-06-14T10:31:48Z")
Do you usually get what you want when you order? - if Yes, you are ordering correctly - if No, you may want to try some of these suggestions That’s really all there is to it. Well you have those people who take a very long time to order, but that’s not in the spirit of the OP. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/23 "2019-06-14T10:55:37Z")
> [@mixdenny](#): > > That’s not the way to do it. Just politely order the damn food. “I will have a cheeseburger and fries”. Period. > > Dennis You forgot to say “Please”. These are human beings you’re speaking with. There’s no cause to be impolite. ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/24 "2019-06-14T10:56:23Z")
Good evening. Could I possibly avail myself of my choice of your fine comestibles? If so, I would appreciate, at your convenience, a hamburger containing cheese and a portion of fried sliced potatoes. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8491ac/32.png) [@Fake\_Tales\_of\_San\_Francisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fake_Tales_of_San_Francisco)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 11:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/25 "2019-06-14T11:03:55Z")
Both these constructs are far too risky. “Can I have” contains some level of doubt, and you never know, they may deny you your order just out of spite. ‘I will have’ is far too confident, and you run the risk of looking foolish if they turn around and say they’re out of stock. I recommend being direct. “Cheeseburger and fries”. Saves face, saves time. Everyone’s a winner. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 11:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/26 "2019-06-14T11:27:36Z")
I don’t think you understand the idea of implicature in language: > **[Implicature](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicature)** > > In pragmatics, a subdiscipline of linguistics, an implicature is something the speaker suggests or implies with an utterance, even though it is not literally expressed. Implicatures can aid in communicating more efficiently than by explicitly saying everything we want to communicate. The philosopher H. P. Grice coined the term in 1975. Grice distinguished conversational implicatures, which arise because speakers are expected to respect general rules of conversation, and conventional ones, whi He... When some people say, “Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?”, they mean, “I’m ordering a cheeseburger and fries.” They are using implicature. It is very standard to imply what you mean rather than state it absolutely literally. In fact, some people would find it to be slightly curt and impolite to say, “I will have a cheeseburger and fries.” You need to learn more about how language works. Implying meaning rather than stating everything absolutely literally is a standard part of all languages. ---
**Author:** ![Jophiel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jophiel/32/66_2.png) [@Jophiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jophiel)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/27 "2019-06-14T11:29:22Z")
“I will gladly pay you on Tuesday for a hamburger today.” ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8dc957/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/28 "2019-06-14T11:40:49Z")
“Can I get a cheeseburger and fries please?” Polite, but wrong. “May I have a cheeseburger and fries please?” This is proper grammar. By the way, it’s so clean. ---
**Author:** ![guizot](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guizot/32/3636_2.png) [@guizot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guizot)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 12:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/29 "2019-06-14T12:36:56Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > I don’t think you understand the idea of implicature in language: > > [Implicature - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicature) > > When some people say, “Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?”, they mean, “I’m ordering a cheeseburger and fries.” They are using implicature. It is very standard to imply what you mean rather than state it absolutely literally. In fact, some people would find it to be slightly curt and impolite to say, “I will have a cheeseburger and fries.” You need to learn more about how language works. Implying meaning rather than stating everything absolutely literally is a standard part of all languages. Yes. Moreover, the OP–like everyone–does the same thing in all kinds of other contexts, too, and probably doesn’t realize it. We all do. ---
**Author:** ![WildBlueYonder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ce7236/32.png) [@WildBlueYonder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildBlueYonder)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/30 "2019-06-14T12:51:44Z")
All I know is if you are in a drive thru, dont order everything on the menu! Unless you use those words only! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/31 "2019-06-14T13:57:03Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > Well, if you’re on death row and it’s your last meal you order a McRib and a Shamrock shake. Depends where you’re on Death Row. If you’re in Texas, this asshole ruined it for everyone. [http://mentalfloss.com/article/60852/texass-last-last-meal-why-death-row-inmates-texas-dont-get-pick-their-last-meals](http://mentalfloss.com/article/60852/texass-last-last-meal-why-death-row-inmates-texas-dont-get-pick-their-last-meals) > [@](#): > > …he asked for: two chicken-fried steaks with gravy and sliced onions; a triple-patty bacon cheeseburger; a cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, bell peppers and jalapeños; a bowl of fried okra with ketchup; one pound of barbecued meat with half a loaf of white bread; three fajitas; a meat-lover’s pizza; one pint of Blue Bell Ice Cream; a slab of peanut-butter fudge with crushed peanuts; and three root beers. > > The state provided him with this meal, costing hundreds of dollars and consisting of thousands of calories. Brewer, claiming he was not very hungry, **ate exactly none of it**. > > **The next day, state legislators asked the Department of Criminal Justice to end the tradition of “last meals.”** ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/32 "2019-06-14T13:59:42Z")
> [@JohnGalt](#): > > I hear “I need a burger…” more often. No, by the way a lot of those people look, you really need some exercise instead… Funny, since I eat burgers all the time and am in great shape. A staple of a diet that helped me lose 40lbs of fat and get back to my late teens/early 20s shape while in my 40s. All the fat asses are sitting around skipping the burgers but eating chips and candy. ---
**Author:** ![actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e79b87/32.png) [@actualliberalnotoneofthose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/actualliberalnotoneofthose)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 2:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/33 "2019-06-14T14:01:17Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > I don’t think you understand the idea of implicature in language: > > [Implicature - Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implicature) > > When some people say, “Can I have a cheeseburger and fries?”, they mean, “I’m ordering a cheeseburger and fries.” They are using implicature. It is very standard to imply what you mean rather than state it absolutely literally. In fact, some people would find it to be slightly curt and impolite to say, “I will have a cheeseburger and fries.” You need to learn more about how language works. Implying meaning rather than stating everything absolutely literally is a standard part of all languages. True, but a lot of times in life implying doesn’t get you what you want. I learned that I had a habit of being way too subtle about some things and had to start saying exactly what I want. It worked. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 2:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/34 "2019-06-14T14:07:11Z")
Occasionally when dining where I am known, I like to ask the server to ask the chef to prepare whatever he thinks I’ll enjoy. There are two places where I can do this and always end up very happy. ---
**Author:** ![singular1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ba9def/32.png) [@singular1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/singular1)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/35 "2019-06-14T14:37:07Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > “Can I get a cheeseburger and fries please?” Polite, but wrong. > > “May I have a cheeseburger and fries please?” This is proper grammar. > > By the way, it’s so clean. Mine is “I’ll just have a cheeseburger, please. And whatever extra cats Two Many Cats has, but on the side. Thanks” ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/36 "2019-06-14T15:51:21Z")
I say “can I have…?” or “I would like…?” and end with “please”, always…without exception. ---
**Author:** ![burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/burpo_the_wonder_mutt/32/365_2.png) [@burpo\_the\_wonder\_mutt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burpo_the_wonder_mutt)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/37 "2019-06-14T15:54:43Z")
> [@Two\_Many\_Cats](#): > > “Can I get a cheeseburger and fries please?” Polite, but wrong. > > “May I have a cheeseburger and fries please?” This is proper grammar. > > By the way, it’s so clean. It’s certainly uncontaminated by chee… SHUT THAT BLOODY BOUZOUKI UP!! ---
**Author:** ![BrickBat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@BrickBat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrickBat)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 3:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/38 "2019-06-14T15:58:22Z")
> [@singular1](#): > > Mine is “I’ll just have a cheeseburger, please. And whatever extra cats Two Many Cats has, but on the side. Thanks” “On the side”. Had an acquaintance ( friend of a friend ) who was a 24 carat pain in the ass when eating in a restaurant/diner. Everything “on the side”. Hogged all the table space with all his on-the-side stuff. While I never saw him order beef stew, I wouldn’t be surprised that if he did, it would be like: “Beef stew, with the beef _on the side_…with the potatoes _on the side_ and the carrots\* on the side\*…and oh…can I get extra gravy _on the side_”. ---
**Author:** ![eenerms](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cdc98d/32.png) [@eenerms](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eenerms)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/39 "2019-06-14T16:01:36Z")
I’ve noticed people ordering food by saying “I think I’ll do the…whatever”. ---
**Author:** ![ricksummon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ricksummon/32/3333_2.png) [@ricksummon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricksummon)\ **Post date:** [June 14, 2019, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498/40 "2019-06-14T17:06:48Z")
> [@BrickBat](#): > > “On the side”. > > Had an acquaintance ( friend of a friend ) who was a 24 carat pain in the ass when eating in a restaurant/diner. Everything “on the side”. Hogged all the table space with all his on-the-side stuff. > > While I never saw him order beef stew, I wouldn’t be surprised that if he did, it would be like: > > “Beef stew, with the beef _on the side_…with the potatoes _on the side_ and the carrots\* on the side\*…and oh…can I get extra gravy _on the side_”. Dave Barry once suggested that restaurants add an extra charge for every item ordered “on the side” that is immediately dumped into whatever it was on the side _of_, thus negating any benefit of ordering it “on the side” in the first place. 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-order-food/835498.md?page=3)