# How to Pay for Iraq? Corporate Sponsorship! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 17, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078 "2003-03-17T19:57:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/1 "2003-03-17T19:57:15Z")
After all, we all know that the war and subsuquent rebuilding isn’t going to pay for itself. Slogans aside, oil ain’t gonna cover all of it either. So, that’s why, this being America and all, we are going to sell naming rights to corporations. Everything is for sale. Towns, cities, rivers, roads, power plants, oil wells, presidental palaces, are just the start. Just imagine the possibilites. The Nike Euphrates. The Microsoft Tigris. Verizon Baghdad. Of course, there’s also the biggest one of all. The name of the country itself. How about: Like A Raq, or perhaps The Tostitos Dust Bowl. Tell your corporation to get their bid in today! ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/2 "2003-03-17T20:17:02Z")
How’s about the “Enron oil fields” in Kuwait? Sam ---
**Author:** ![Jpeg\_Jones](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/4bbf92/32.png) [@Jpeg\_Jones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jpeg_Jones)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/3 "2003-03-17T20:37:43Z")
_New Texas_, by Halliburton ---
**Author:** ![ataraxy22](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ataraxy22/32/307_2.png) [@ataraxy22](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ataraxy22)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/4 "2003-03-17T20:59:13Z")
Brilliant idea, that’s why it won’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/f0a364/32.png) [@Fuji\_Kitakyusho](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuji_Kitakyusho)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 9:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/5 "2003-03-17T21:29:30Z")
Forget that - look at the opportunity you have here: Britain and the USA pushing for a war, without the support they expected from the rest of the world… Here you have the best trained versus the best equipped armies in the world, ready to go at it… Leave Iraq alone, and pit the USA vs. Britain. Televise the whole thing worldwide on Pay-per-View… That would more than pay for the whole ordeal, and allow both countries to save face… -FK ---
**Author:** ![GaWd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f08c70/32.png) [@GaWd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaWd)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/6 "2003-03-17T22:15:16Z")
Or we could just pull a Howard Stern and have female Officers from all of the respective armies munching rug on PPV. It’d have a great turnout, money-wise anyways! Sam ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/7 "2003-03-17T22:33:50Z")
It’s novel approach, and cynical enough that I like it… but it doesn’t pay out until _after_ the war. You need to commercialize the war effort itself. The Independent Health Fire Bombing of Baghdad could be televised live on CNN, with a scrolling ticker extolling the virtues of the lackluster health provider. It’s got ironic zing. ABC’s Wide World of Bunker Busting could lead the evening, running opposite NBC’s Law and Order: Strategic Napalm Unit. And, of course, who wouldn’t weep for sheer patriotic joy when it is announced that, “This high altitude bombing run is brought to you, commercial free, by United Airlines. Fly the friendly skies!” ---
**Author:** ![Estilicon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/848f3c/32.png) [@Estilicon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Estilicon)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/8 "2003-03-17T23:03:50Z")
How about a television show called “The Husseins”, it will be a reality tv kind of thing in which Saddma will have the chance to prove he isn’t really the prince of darkness but a nice chap. Oops I’ve heard this show might be cancelled before the pilot 🙂 (sorry not a very good joke in an awfull situation) ---
**Author:** ![KidCharlemagne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed8c4c/32.png) [@KidCharlemagne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KidCharlemagne)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2003, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/9 "2003-03-17T23:05:10Z")
This view from the onboard camera of a Tomahawk cruise missile about to obliterate the Republican Guard brought to you by Kodak. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [March 18, 2003, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-pay-for-iraq-corporate-sponsorship/162078/10 "2003-03-18T00:37:52Z")
See, now you guys are getting it.