# How to play a practical joke on a squirrel **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 20, 2012, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285 "2012-03-20T05:19:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 10\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/21 "2012-03-20T20:50:10Z")
I’m walking home from a visit to my orthopedist. I have a full cast on my arm. I hear a noise in the trees and look straight up. Something is falling. I instinctively move my cast and sling out of the way, just in time to avoid being hit by a squirrel falling about 25 feet straight down from the top of the tree. I am so glad I didn’t have to tell the doctor that my cast got busted by a falling squirrel. He’d probably have told me to stop lying and having sex till the cast came off. ---
**Author:** ![RalfCoder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@RalfCoder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RalfCoder)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/22 "2012-03-20T21:16:51Z")
The squirrel launcher was priceless. I know just the person who would want one, too! My squirrel story: We have a tree in the back yard with a branch sawed off such that there’s a nice flat spot for a cat to sit up on high and survey her realm. One day a squirrel showed up, and the cat took off out the back door after it. The squirrel picked that tree as its refuge. Unfortunately, it was too far away from any others to jump to safety. Peanut Butter, our orange tabby, went straight up the tree after it. The squirrel got high enough into thin branches that the cat couldn’t follow it, so she found the flat spot and settled in a nap. I left her there for 2 hours. In the meantime, the squirrel called her every dirty name in the squirrellish version of [The Maledicta](http://search.yahoo.com/search;_ylt=AkgaW_YMcknJwHAVzTX8ohabvZx4?p=maledicta&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8&fr=yfp-t-701). It ranged through the entire squirrel pantheon of gods at least twice, calling down curses and invective with impressive creativity and invective. Truly, this animal did not shut up for the entire 2 hours. I finally called the cat in, and about 2 minutes later, the squirrel was down the tree and out of the yard. We didn’t see another one there for 6 months. ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2012, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/23 "2012-03-20T22:01:51Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > My father has a friend with a love-hate relationship with a particular bird feeder thief. He bought one of[these](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A-7g-fl3g8&feature=related). He said the first time he went out to fill it after the squirrel got flung, it cussed him out from a tree the whole time he was out there. The squirrel figured it out after a while. The guy treats it as something of a game to outwit the squirrel, and it seems the squirrel is in on it. Hah. My Dad has birdfeeders in his back yard, several of them in fact. After learning that squirrels were poaching a large portion of the seeds, he took to lubricating the pole for the feeder with oil. In the video you posted, you see how the squirrel can shimmy up the pole to get to the feeder. In my Dad’s case, mean old bastard that he is, he didn’t lubricate the _entire_ pole, no, only started the oil about the halfway up mark, just to make the squirrels work that much harder before they slid down the pole, clinging to it the whole way down like a mainmast in a hurricane. We laughed a lot at that due to the perseverance of the squirrels. Eventually Dad got tired of the game and oiling the poles, so he got one of these: [http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod\_display.cfm?pcatid=22354&cmpid=10csegpl&ref=6111&subref=AA&CAWELAID=589036236](http://www.drsfostersmith.com/product/prod_display.cfm?pcatid=22354&cmpid=10csegpl&ref=6111&subref=AA&CAWELAID=589036236) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Girlfriend](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.girlfriend/32/193_2.png) [@Dr.Girlfriend](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Girlfriend)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/24 "2012-03-21T01:22:55Z")
I have a tray of sunflower seeds that I put out on my patio. It’s supposedly for the birds, but the squirrels get 95% of it. My cat will sit on the other side of the patio door and try to get the squirrels when they raid the tray. The cat will take a mighty flying leap squirrel-ward and smack into the glass. I swear I’ve heard the squirrel say “neener neener!!” before it runs off. LMAO… poor cat. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/25 "2012-03-21T02:06:44Z")
> [@Dr.Girlfriend](#): > > I have a tray of sunflower seeds that I put out on my patio. It’s supposedly for the birds, but the squirrels get 95% of it. My cat will sit on the other side of the patio door and try to get the squirrels when they raid the tray. The cat will take a mighty flying leap squirrel-ward and smack into the glass. > > I swear I’ve heard the squirrel say “neener neener!!” before it runs off. LMAO… poor cat. I believe they give the finger, too, and sometimes drop their furry little pants to moon dogs and cats. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/26 "2012-03-21T14:19:25Z")
I want a pet squirrel. I’ve already got rats, how much different can a squirrel be? ---
**Author:** ![Merneith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/57b2e6/32.png) [@Merneith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Merneith)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/27 "2012-03-21T17:27:11Z")
> [@Jenaroph](#): > > My father has a friend with a love-hate relationship with a particular bird feeder thief. He bought one of[these](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5A-7g-fl3g8&feature=related). That is some _quality_ entertainment. There should be a tv channel just for videos of this. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/28 "2012-03-21T17:40:58Z")
> [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](#): > > I want a pet squirrel. Why couldn’t you have said this last August? We had squirrels in our porch roof then that we paid some people to trap and take away. We had squirrels in need of re-homing, it would have been perfect. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/29 "2012-03-21T17:43:49Z")
> [@Anne\_Neville](#): > > Why couldn’t you have said this last August? We had squirrels in our porch roof then that we paid some people to trap and take away. We had squirrels in need of re-homing, it would have been perfect. In light of the current GD thread, I read this as “We had squirrels in need of **re-horning** ”. ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [March 21, 2012, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285/30 "2012-03-21T18:02:42Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > In light of the current GD thread, I read this as “We had squirrels in need of **re-horning** ”. Well, the ones they caught didn’t have any horns. I guess they could have been in need of re-horning, too. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-play-a-practical-joke-on-a-squirrel/616285.md?page=1)