# How to politely end a conversation with a stranger **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 11, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617 "2013-11-11T03:54:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/41 "2013-11-12T15:00:04Z")
Try this phrase: “Ich nicht parlez español.” ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/42 "2013-11-12T16:23:42Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Is there anything more important in life than giving someone who is suffering a moment of comfort? Even if you only listen? So many, many things. Especially since so many talkers aren’t suffering so much as obviously having their regular fun. ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/43 "2013-11-12T16:31:36Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Is there anything more important in life than giving someone who is suffering a moment of comfort? Even if you only listen? Yes, not forcing yourself upon people you don’t know and who have not asked for your company making them suffer. ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/44 "2013-11-12T19:25:51Z")
On the bus I saw a girl with a tee shirt that read, “let’s not ruin it by talking”. I thought it was hilarious. Especially since it was in Mexico, and few people could have read it. Might try to get one. Then hope they can read. ---
**Author:** ![Disgscen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f05b48/32.png) [@Disgscen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Disgscen)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 8:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/45 "2013-11-12T20:55:16Z")
So much of the above advice is to lie or to be really aggressive to get them to leave, or to explain yourself or make excuses in an attempt to be nice. This strikes me as a failure–a need to alter your behavior in order to do what you want, which is shop. Why not just continue your shopping? They can follow along and talk all they want, and you can respond however you feel like it in the moment, and they’ll either figure out your priorities or they won’t–but the result either way is you finishing your shopping and going home. What makes you a target, I think, isn’t some obvious physical characteristic. It’s that when strangers test you out for conversation, you’re stopping to talk to them, and even sharing personal information. If they want a conversation with a stranger, it’s up to them to do what it takes to maintain it. The same is true with anyone trying to make money from passersby on the street. They know the longer you talk to them the better their chance, so they’ll drag everything out as much as possible before getting to the point. If talking with you isn’t worth walking with you, they’ll finish the spiel faster, and they’ll get their “No” faster too. ---
**Author:** ![monstro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ba9def/32.png) [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/46 "2013-11-12T20:59:57Z")
> [@SerafinaPekala](#): > > Is there anything more important in life than giving someone who is suffering a moment of comfort? Even if you only listen? Before the days of internet, people had an excuse for using random people as sounding boards. But there are a kajillion message boards now where people are glad to provide a listening ear, from the comfort of their living rooms. Although you don’t get real time body language feedback, it’s superior in all other aspects. You can carefully select your words. You can do research and post helpful links to information. You can actually _hear_ what is being said without being distracted by ambient noises or stress (which one would feel if they are hurrying to catch a bus but don’t want to be rude to a nice old man). You are much more likely to get a favorable response on the internet than you are chatting up random strangers in the real world. There are also such things as pastors, priests, rabbis, social workers, therapists, and crisis counselors who are trained to provide guidance and listen. That’s what these people do for a living. It’s what they _want_ to do. Strangers on the street have their own lives and are already tasked with being a listening ear for their friends and family. They deserve to be left alone. People should be nice to one another, but they should also strive to not be pathetically needy. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/47 "2013-11-12T21:05:45Z")
> [@Disgscen](#): > > What makes you a target, I think, isn’t some obvious physical characteristic. It’s that when strangers test you out for conversation, you’re stopping to talk to them, and even sharing personal information. If they want a conversation with a stranger, it’s up to them to do what it takes to maintain it. This is important, too. Why are you stopping to talk to them? Just keep walking. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Lendervedder](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/happy_lendervedder/32/8488_2.png) [@Happy\_Lendervedder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Lendervedder)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/48 "2013-11-12T21:14:38Z")
End it with a friendly wave and a [“Well, see ya later!”](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WiAAFjbvOsM) ---
**Author:** ![ZenBeam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/3ab097/32.png) [@ZenBeam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZenBeam)\ **Post date:** [November 12, 2013, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/49 "2013-11-12T22:33:04Z")
> [@mayaonfiya222](#): > > And, how can I politely end a conversation? I couldn’t walk away in the supermarket because I was still looking through products. “I’m sorry, but I need to think about what I need to buy, but it’s been nice chatting with with you.” If he keeps talking… “I’m sorry, I can’t talk any more now.” If he keeps talking, walk away, and come back to that section later. What you have to **not** do is effectively ask him permission to leave. That may be more important than what you _do_ say. Don’t say things like “Well, I really need to go, OK?”. ---
**Author:** ![ThelmaLou](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thelmalou/32/390_2.png) [@ThelmaLou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThelmaLou)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 12:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/50 "2013-11-13T00:22:42Z")
\ What I would probably do is lean forward and touch the person’s hand/arm (yes, even a complete stranger), and **simultaneously** , say with urgency, “I’m so sorry, but I really have to go. Good luck with all of that.” And then withdraw my hand, pull out my phone, turn and walk briskly away while putting the phone to my head. If phone not handy, I’d walk away looking at my watch. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/51 "2013-11-13T00:36:20Z")
> [@harmonicamoon](#): > > On the bus I saw a girl with a tee shirt that read, “let’s not ruin it by talking”. I thought it was hilarious. Especially since it was in Mexico, and few people could have read it. > Might try to get one. Then hope they can read. Even if they read it, they won’t think it applie to them. ---
**Author:** ![j666](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de0a6/32.png) [@j666](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/j666)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/52 "2013-11-13T02:37:02Z")
Another vote for earbuds combined with a vague and sweet smile, and walking away. Whatever you do, don’t try speaking a foreign language. I know how to say, “I don’t understand” - and only that - in at least six languages, and I always pick the wrong one. > [@Ranger\_Jeff](#): > > Try this phrase: “Ich nicht parlez español.” Okay, this one might work. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/53 "2013-11-13T06:49:09Z")
In an English-speaking country, I usually say “Sorry, I can’t understand what you’re saying” in Russian. In most other countries, I say “Do you speak Swedish?” in Swedish. In both cases, that normally puts an end to the conversation. Sometimes, just for fun, I’ll listen intently and nod, and then say “Tell me, do you ever hear voices?” If you’ve never tried this approach, I highly recommend it. The look on the other person’s face is always priceless! ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/54 "2013-11-13T18:30:33Z")
“I must go now. My planet needs me” ---
**Author:** ![kaylasdad99](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kaylasdad99/32/3398_2.png) [@kaylasdad99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kaylasdad99)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/55 "2013-11-13T18:43:57Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > I generally default to speaking stock phrases in the Mangani language: > > “Tarzan ko-korak. Yato-nala Tarzan-ul-Mangani. Yato-nala Kala, kalu-ul-Tarzan. Tand ko-Tarzan. Tand-yo kreeg-ah.” > > (White-skin mighty killer. Look-up [to] White-skin of Great Apes. Look-up [to] Kala, mother-of-White-skin. Not mighty White-skin. Not-friend beware.) > > Then I bare my teeth. > > They generally go away. Congratulations. You’ve just persuaded me that reading Edgar Rice doesn’t have to be a _complete_ waste of time and brain cells, and can provide me with useful life-skills. Now, see if you con do the same thing on behalf of Edward Elmer. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![rucciface](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ba9def/32.png) [@rucciface](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rucciface)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/56 "2013-11-13T18:51:03Z")
“I’m sorry…I really oughta go mackdonna handheld shoehorn butterhorse.” ---
**Author:** ![Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/earl_snake-hips_tucker/32/3269_2.png) [@Earl\_Snake-Hips\_Tucker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earl_Snake-Hips_Tucker)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/57 "2013-11-13T18:55:25Z")
Just start it with, “I say, old [boy, chap, etc.]” That’s how the Brits do it, and it seems to work. ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [November 13, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/58 "2013-11-13T19:14:08Z")
> [@Floater](#): > > To my fellow introverts. You might like this guide on [How to interact with the introverted](http://themetapicture.com/how-to-interact-with-the-introverted/). That’s very cool. Thanks for that link! ---
**Author:** ![Washoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecae2f/32.png) [@Washoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Washoe)\ **Post date:** [November 14, 2013, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/59 "2013-11-14T05:30:29Z")
Take a cue from [The Honest Toddler](http://thehonesttoddler.com/how-to-get-kicked-out-of-preschool/). Many of the techniques described herein can be directly applied to the situation in question. ---
**Author:** ![Lukeinva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lukeinva/32/17872_2.png) [@Lukeinva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lukeinva)\ **Post date:** [November 20, 2013, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617/60 "2013-11-20T17:11:44Z")
Try reverse psychology by saying “let me let you go.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-politely-end-a-conversation-with-a-stranger/673617.md?page=4)