ignore people that want to pick a fight with you over horseshit.
Know that these people are looking for a fight and are best left to stew in their own juice. Nothing you can do to help them.
“Bless your heart.”
Three words that convey a lot of meaning. Said condescendingly, it’s pretty lethal.
“A violent Christmas and a savage New Year.”
“Merry Everything!
&
Happy Always!”
I reply with “And a Happy Festivus to you!”
I just kind of back away and then say something like, “Umm, yeah, oookay.”
What else can you do? These people are generally insane. Fortunately I haven’t really encountered them all that much, if at all.
Seems like Floaty may work in retail? In which case some of the appropriate but angrier responses might not be…appropriate. I like the idea of something along the lines of the suggestions upthread, something like “Yes, that’s one of the holy days I was wishing you happiness for!” said with a smile.
Of course I’m too curmudgeonly to take my own advice. I’d probably plan to say nothing at all in such a position, and smile or just nod curtly depending on my perception of the greeting thrown my way.
However, I also like saying Merry Christmas (even though I’m not a believer) because, well, that’s what the holiday is.
I’m a self-contradictory narcissist, what can I say?
I’d go with “And Happy Hanukah to you.”
“Putz.”
If someone takes offense to 'Happy Holidays", smile at them and shout, “You should be boiled in your own pudding, and buried with a stake of holly through your heart.”
Walk away muttering “Bah Humbug”.
“I will not stand idly by as you perpetrate your war on unnamed holidays!!”
Almost completely nonapropos, I used to work with a kind of weird guy who’d always greet me each morning with “May the Force be with you”. I took to responding with “Hail Ming”, and he was completely satisfied with that.
Stick with your Happy Holidays and if you get somebody taking offense and yelling back angrily to you, MERRY CHRISTMAS, then come back with MERRY MYTHMAS TO YOU TOO! But be merry about it, the bigger the grin when you say it the better. Or if they are really pissed, and you’re too, yell back, MERRY MYTHMAS TO YOU TOO, YOU SON OF A BITCH! Aw, nothing like the holidays.
“Well fuck off then, why don’t ya”. I’ve said that with a smile.
I never initiate any sort of holiday greeting. When someone says “Happy Xxxxx” to me I say “Yeah, ho ho ho and all that stuff.”
“And a happy, ‘Ack, Ack, A-Dak to you.’”
If they get it, you defuse the situation. If not, they think you’re crazy and will avoid you.
I work in a store owned by Jewish people, and I get “Merry Christmas” a lot. I always say “Thank you.” Same with Happy Hanukkah.
If people ask me what I celebrate, I say “The only December holiday I celebrate is my birthday.”
“I fart in your general direction”.
mmm
I think the issue here isn’t about people wishing you a Merry Christmas or whatever, but people choosing to respond to “Happy Holidays” with a chastising “I say Merry Christmas”, implying some moral superiority and landing a blow in the “War On Christmas”.
I have tinsel burns on the inside of my left calf; War On Xmas, 2011.
[del]I have Frank Burns in my VCR; War on Korea, 1951.[/del]
nm