# How to respond to an inappropriate question? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 25, 2010, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376 "2010-08-25T06:11:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![madmonk28](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/madmonk28/32/20811_2.png) [@madmonk28](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madmonk28)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/121 "2010-08-26T13:54:57Z")
There is a good chance he is gearing up for a snark, as witnessed in this thread; either to your face, or behind your back. If I go to a restaurant, it makes sense to ask what the lobster costs, if I am being served lobster at someone’s home, it is rude to ask what it costs. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/122 "2010-08-26T14:14:51Z")
> [@madmonk28](#): > > There is a good chance he is gearing up for a snark, as witnessed in this thread; either to your face, or behind your back. “A good chance” is far from the your blanket statement where you implied “always.” And even then, I think that “a good chance” is not very accurate. As has been pointed out, it was probably more a case of clueless rather that open and hostile malice. Yes, there are people out there who look for chances to be snarky and cut up others behind their backs, but in my experience those people are thankfully rare. ---
**Author:** ![RedWood](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f08c70/32.png) [@RedWood](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RedWood)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 2:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/123 "2010-08-26T14:34:35Z")
I was raised to think that asking the price of something in someone’s home was completely rude and crass… the only ruder thing would be announcing the price tag 🙂 so, I asked my Nonnie what I should do if I was asked such a question. she said “Tell them it was a gift from a dear friend and smile!” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/124 "2010-08-26T15:01:13Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > Well that’s not remotely close to what I said. Should I attribute your misunderstanding to a deliberate misrepresentation of my words? It sure seems so. You said, “Honesty can sometimes be quite rude in itself, and a horribly bad idea.” So it is in direct response to your endorsement of dishonesty. Perhaps you actually meant keeping quiet, which is not dishonest if you are not obligated to provide information. > [@](#): > > But have it pour way. Honesty is always the best policy. Then surely you would have no objection if I answered your query about the cost of the art with this response – “Honestly, I find that question to be rude and inappropriate, and am frankly at a loss as to why you would ask it.” Nothing wrong with that, right, since it is the honest answer? I would not have a problem with that at all. I would respond “I apologize, I’m a naturally curious person, and didn’t intend any offense. I’m just ignorant about this subject, and wondered about that aspect of it.” If that was insufficient to assuage your discomfort, I wouldn’t be interested in any further discussion. You see, I never had any bad intentions, or would have inquired about the price in any judgemental way, or made an assumption about your intentions had you inquired. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/125 "2010-08-26T15:56:46Z")
Honesty can be brutal, but it can be tactful instead. And I think that tactful honesty is better than a lie, no matter how polite. “I don’t remember” or “It was a gift” are, IMHO, not as good as “I’m not comfortable discussing that.” A rude or persitent person could call you out on your lies, maybe with “Let’s look for your receipt” or “Who gave it to you? Let’s call him and ask.” ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/126 "2010-08-26T16:05:03Z")
There’s a Bamboo Arts Appendix on the website. I wonder if **Bam Boo Gut** is missing it. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/127 "2010-08-26T16:27:42Z")
I can see the bewilderment of guests looking at a prominently displayed wicker basket on a lighted pedestal and wondering about the price. I would be similarly bewildered, but as an invited guest I wouldn’t dare ask the price. I might let my 4 year old son use it as a Halloween basket though. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/128 "2010-08-26T16:30:13Z")
I don’t think asking about the price is rude at all. Maybe socially awkward, but not rude. Perhaps they really like the piece, and want to know if they can buy something similar for themselves? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/129 "2010-08-26T16:38:21Z")
Why is it rude to ask how much something cost? I think it’s rude to ask that if someone’s giving you a gift, but why is it inappropriate to ask about an item displayed in a living room? I really don’t get it. It’s not like you’re asking for any personal information. ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/130 "2010-08-26T16:55:28Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > …So let me rephrase: If an aquaintence is in your home and asks how much something cost, is he, 100% of the time, gearing up for snark? Every single time? There could never be any other motivation for asking such a question? Ever? Jesus. That is really annoying. He was just making a general statement. Does one have to qualify everything to death around here? He was pointing out an attitude that may cause folks to feel hesitant to share what they paid for things. He didn’t mean "every single solitary time someone asks about price they are definitely, certainly, without fail gearing up for snark. Come on. What is the point of even taking the argument in that direction. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/131 "2010-08-26T17:18:00Z")
Sorry, I cannot fathom why someone would think it’s rude to ask. I think you should just stick a price tag on it and end all inquiries that way ---
**Author:** ![Peremensoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ce7236/32.png) [@Peremensoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Peremensoe)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/132 "2010-08-26T17:51:59Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why is it rude to ask how much something cost? I think it’s rude to ask that if someone’s giving you a gift, but why is it inappropriate to ask about an item displayed in a living room? Why is it rude to ask the price of a gift? Because it suggests that the price is the value. It’s essentially the same here. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/133 "2010-08-26T18:08:21Z")
It’s rude to ask with a gift because it suggests that the monetary value is more important than the sentiment. There is no such concern with an item on display as a decoration. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/134 "2010-08-26T18:09:53Z")
> [@YogSosoth](#): > > Sorry, I cannot fathom why someone would think it’s rude to ask. I think you should just stick a price tag on it and end all inquiries that way That might not be very aesthetic, but I don’t find anything objectionable about the idea in principle. ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/135 "2010-08-26T18:11:10Z")
> [@Count\_Blucher](#): > > There are dozens of ways to shoot down the asker or change the subject (the best are above) but you should always remember that you can learn a lot about the people in your home by the questions they ask. By all means, change the subject and don’t answer anything you don’t want to, but let them ask the questions that they choose. It will give you clues as to who they are socially as well as what role they’d best play in business or your life. > > You could just think “He’s rude as Hell, F-him.” or you could learn “this person thinks solely in $/cents and has the soul of a calculator. Possibly a good business negotiator, possibly a good business partner, if he can be trusted. But he has a very low artistic spark, no zero social common sense and no vision beyond resale value. Possibly a good choice for project budgeting, a bad choice for a team-lead or anything involving diplomacy.” But you failed to question if the asker was a good choice for anal sex. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/136 "2010-08-26T18:11:56Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > You said, “Honesty can sometimes be quite rude in itself, and a horribly bad idea.” > So it is in direct response to your endorsement of dishonesty. Perhaps you actually meant keeping quiet, which is not dishonest if you are not obligated to provide information. Show me anywhere where I said that dishonesty was a virtue, or admit that you are just blowing bilge. ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/137 "2010-08-26T18:13:25Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why is it rude to ask how much something cost? Because it’s none of your business. ---
**Author:** ![TruCelt](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trucelt/32/523_2.png) [@TruCelt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruCelt)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/138 "2010-08-26T18:18:14Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Why is it rude to ask how much something cost? I think it’s rude to ask that if someone’s giving you a gift, but why is it inappropriate to ask about an item displayed in a living room? I really don’t get it. It’s not like you’re asking for any personal information. [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12839706&postcount=54](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=12839706&postcount=54) ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/139 "2010-08-26T18:19:54Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > > > Why is it rude to ask how much something cost? > > Because it’s none of your business. It’s public information. You aren’t really answering the question anyway. Why is it _rude_? What’s so horrible about being asked how much something costs? Why does that make people uncomfortable? I really don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![Labrador\_Deceiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7c8e57/32.png) [@Labrador\_Deceiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Labrador_Deceiver)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2010, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376/140 "2010-08-26T18:25:30Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > > > Why is it rude to ask how much something cost? > > Because it’s none of your business. Wow. You keep repeating this phrase as if it actually has any meaning. There is no such thing as a universally accepted set of conventions for what is or isn’t someone’s business. People in this thread are asking why it is considered rude in our society to ask the price of things. Your idiotic response is not the answer to that question. “None of your business” can be given as the answer to just about any personal question, even ones that are not considered rude. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-an-inappropriate-question/551376.md?page=8)