# How to respond to "I'll pray for you"? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 9, 2016, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216 "2016-08-09T03:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 3:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/101 "2016-08-11T15:04:05Z")
> [@Corry\_El](#): > > I grew up in a time/place where most people were at least nominally religious (Catholic or Jewish, a few mainline Protestants, I’ve still never closely personally known an evangelical Southern-style Protestant in real life) but it was just not brought into most other topics, definitely not politics. In the time/place where you grew up, would being publically atheist, or even agnostic, have been socially acceptable? Perhaps one of the differences between then and now is that more people are being honest about what the (dis)believe, and don’t feel as much pressure to play the game to get along? ---
**Author:** ![amaguri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/49beb7/32.png) [@amaguri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amaguri)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/102 "2016-08-11T16:08:50Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > Say thank you. It hardly seems worthy of going to war over and what makes you think their prayers are centered on converting the heathen rather than asking for God’s help and protection for you. Why should you be offended that someone wants good things for you? honestly this should be everyone’s advice for pretty much everything nowadays. what value is there in making someone else feel bad about themselves? If it’s well-intentioned I wouldn’t give it a second thought. ---
**Author:** ![garygnu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garygnu/32/2924_2.png) [@garygnu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/garygnu)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/103 "2016-08-11T16:28:16Z")
I’ve really only heard it in regards to my cancer diagnosis, maybe a plane flight or something. They’re concerned about my health and wellbeing. Sure, they’re making a call with nobody on the other end of the line, but they care enough about me they picked up the phone. It is hard to thank them for their own concern without them inferring I think it’ll work, but whatever. ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/104 "2016-08-11T16:44:18Z")
> [@amaguri](#): > > honestly this should be everyone’s advice for pretty much everything nowadays. what value is there in making someone else feel bad about themselves? If it’s well-intentioned I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Because, in this case it’s not well-intentioned. They are praying to their God for him to “fix” my thinking. They can’t sway my convictions with their words, so they want a higher power to intervene and essentially “brainwash” me into seeing their side. It’s offensive and creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/105 "2016-08-11T16:48:37Z")
A few months ago, I encountered a homeless person and gave him $20. He said, “God bless you!” With a happy smile, I said, “No need. I’m an atheist.” The look of astonishment on his face was more than worth it. Gotta spread the word, you know? ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_Tightlips](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/57b2e6/32.png) [@Joey\_Tightlips](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_Tightlips)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/106 "2016-08-11T18:59:52Z")
> [@Fear\_Itself](#): > > “I will pray for you” > > “Thank you. I will think for you.” Agree, this has to be the winner. I first heard it a few months ago on the [Sam Bee show when they sent a prominent atheist](http://www.rawstory.com/2016/03/atheist-trolls-christian-conservatives-for-samantha-bee-ill-pray-for-you-ok-ill-think-for-you/) to CPAC to discuss religion. When he said it, I broke into spontaneous applause from my couch and thought, “Why have **I** never thought of that?!!”. ---
**Author:** ![drewder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/57b2e6/32.png) [@drewder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewder)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/107 "2016-08-11T19:24:40Z")
> [@purplehearingaid](#): > > I get very offended when people say they pray for me b/c I don’t believe in JC ! I don’t even want people to pray for me when I drop dead and told my daughter and SIL this ! You’re offended because you choose to be offended not because you don’t believe in JC. Honestly you’re coming across as a bit of a child by acting so dramatic about hearing a simple phrase. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/108 "2016-08-11T19:43:22Z")
Confuse 'em with a vague, friendly and half- absent " You too" as you turn away. They will wonder if you misheard them, or if they actually said “Have a nice day”. ---
**Author:** ![Ambivalid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a5b964/32.png) [@Ambivalid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ambivalid)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/109 "2016-08-11T20:41:01Z")
I’ve heard it said multiple times that most religious people assume everyone is religious but im dubious of that assertion. I mean, c’mon, I give the average person at least a _little_ bit of credit when it comes to both self-awareness and awareness of the world they live in. Religious people may be misguided (or not) but I wouldn’t categorize the majority of such people as “delusional”. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/110 "2016-08-11T20:45:03Z")
> [@drewder](#): > > Say thank you. It hardly seems worthy of going to war over and what makes you think their prayers are centered on converting the heathen rather than asking for God’s help and protection for you. Why should you be offended that someone wants good things for you? Yep. Say “thank you” and move on. Do you get angry when someone, as you are leaving sez “God be with you” aka “Good bye”? Do you respond angrily with “I dont believe in God!”? ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/111 "2016-08-11T20:56:48Z")
Why do you assume it is said with anger? ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/112 "2016-08-11T22:27:21Z")
> [@Annie-Xmas](#): > > I get “Have a blessed day” at work. I answer the same thing I answer to “Have a nice day”: You too. Lots of southerners use that and not all of them are religious. I wouldn’t necessarily take it as an indication of such. > [@kayaker](#): > > How about going all Linda Blair on the well wisher? > > “I’ll pray for you.” > “NOOOO!!! It buuurns. It burns my soul, damn you!!!” \< snort \> ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2016, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/113 "2016-08-11T23:09:21Z")
I agree it’s okay in this instance to say something. It sounds like you’re in a Southern place, where politeness is expected. So I’d say something faux polite but condescending. “Bless your heart” is an awesome one, but there are other possibilities. Even just a sarcastic “thanks so much” might work. Or you can even try “And I’ll pray for you,” in sorta jovial tone. That’s probably what I’d do, but I happen to also be a Christian, and I do pray sometimes that God will wake these people up so they don’t think the Republican Party means the Christian party. It’s such a “wolf in sheep’s clothing” issue. ---
**Author:** ![Maastricht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e57/32.png) [@Maastricht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maastricht)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/114 "2016-08-12T01:08:39Z")
How about: “Thanks, but I already checked and God agrees with me on this one, sorry.” ---
**Author:** ![Corry\_El](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecae2f/32.png) [@Corry\_El](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Corry_El)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/115 "2016-08-12T15:07:47Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > In the time/place where you grew up, would being publically atheist, or even agnostic, have been socially acceptable? Perhaps one of the differences between then and now is that more people are being honest about what the (dis)believe, and don’t feel as much pressure to play the game to get along? I’m thinking of the outright insults (‘your magic sky fairy’ etc). I don’t think that’s progress. It’s just a new way of being a jerk. I grew up in outer borough NY in the 60’s-70’s, so no, somebody being non-religious was not a big deal, though most people were affiliated with a religion. Many were Jews, and I think it’s well known that many Jews feel affiliation to the Jewish people more than Judaism as a religion per se, but the religion is still a symbol of the people and it’s less common for them then or now to insult that religion. There isn’t a Catholic ethnic people in the same sense, but IME Catholicism to some extent also is what you are and where you came from, to a greater degree than Protestantism seems to be for its adherents/ex-adherents on average, just IME. And not so much when I grew up but in adult life I’ve known many non-Christian east Asians and they also don’t seem to feel the need to put down religion, their own if any or anyone else’s. I’ve lived in Japan and Korea. In the former the great majority of people have no religion practically speaking though might say they are Buddhist if a foreigner asks, in the latter Christianity is the plurality now among those who have a religion, but around half the people don’t have a religion (Confucianism isn’t considered a religion by most people there). But in those societies too people seem to avoid bashing religion, their own or other people’s. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2016, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216/116 "2016-08-12T15:16:06Z")
Again with the “MSF” insult that is supposedly used all the time by atheists here. I sure would like someone to back this little “fact” up with a simple search to see 1. How often is actually used by atheists, and not by those complaining about it’s supposed common usage by atheists, and 2. In what context these atheists use the term. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-respond-to-ill-pray-for-you/762216.md?page=5)