# How to seduce a woman from Norway **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 17, 2002, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117 "2002-04-17T12:22:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Squire-Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Squire-Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire-Bob)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/1 "2002-04-17T12:22:36Z")
Hello Dopers. I need the help, am a English student and have the pleasure of knowing a number of Norwiegians. One of them is quite possibly the most girl… Ever. not only is she very pretty but she has the sweetest personality. Now i have made quite good friends with her, This is myusual problem with girls i make them laugh an i am told i’m very charming then i chicken out. So any dopers with hints. ---
**Author:** ![Fern\_Forest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/71c47a/32.png) [@Fern\_Forest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fern_Forest)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/2 "2002-04-17T12:38:26Z")
Why does this sound so familiar? ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/3 "2002-04-17T12:49:37Z")
Pickled herring and onions. Never fails. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/4 "2002-04-17T12:56:02Z")
Adopt an alternate personality. Use that to ask her out:) Let me know if it works, as I’ve wondered for a while if it would. [hijack]By “English student”, do you mean you are a native speaker of the language or that you are currently in school to improve your English?[/hijack] ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/5 "2002-04-17T13:03:24Z")
> [@](#): > > Pickled herring and onions. Never fails. You know, I actually typed out “Buy her a herring” for the first response to this thread, but then I backed out of it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![lno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@lno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lno)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/6 "2002-04-17T13:08:01Z")
Learn a phrase in Norwegian and say it with a slight accent. The phrase is, “Let’s get married, have a hundred kids, and have sex every day.” Empirical evidence indicates that it works in Sweden. (Of course, using Swedish instead of Norwegian. Norwegian sounds like Swedish with pieces of corn stuck up your nose.) (But then, Swedish sounds like Danish with a corncob in your throat.) ---
**Author:** ![Squire-Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Squire-Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire-Bob)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/7 "2002-04-17T13:16:40Z")
I am an english lad, I wouldnt think the alternantive personality would work. Norwiegian appears to be rather hard, having spent many a drunken night with the norsky’s i have picked up a single word… SKOL!. Oh just to add im not just trying to get into this girl, i do realy like her. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/8 "2002-04-17T13:24:09Z")
Well, I was also going to go the herring route, but to take the road less travelled, this looks like a job for **Flodnak**! ---
**Author:** ![stankow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@stankow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stankow)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/9 "2002-04-17T13:24:21Z")
The one thing that always worked for me was telling a friend that I was going to ask her out by a certain time. It’s one thing to embarrass yourself in front of some girl, but you’re going to have to deal with your friend knowing you wimped out for the rest of your life. ---
**Author:** ![Squire-Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Squire-Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire-Bob)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/10 "2002-04-17T13:26:23Z")
My best mate is a girl i wimped out on… Its kinda my niche in life. As i am apperntly funny and charming it is the source of much entertainment to my mates the gits… ---
**Author:** ![stankow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cdc98d/32.png) [@stankow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stankow)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/11 "2002-04-17T13:51:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Squire-Bob \* > \*\*My best mate is a girl i wimped out on… Its kinda my niche in life. As i am apperntly funny and charming it is the source of much entertainment to my mates the gits… \*\* I hate to be the one to tell you this, Bob, but you’re living in a romantic comedy movie. So here’s what you must do: 1 – Hatch wild scheme to get Norwegian girl to notice you. Make sure that your best mate is a key part of the operation. 2 – Ensure that plan fails, preferably miserably and humiliatingly in front of local alpha male. 3 – Hatch wilder scheme, this time involving humiliating said alpha male. Make sure you play a lot of Eighties music while preparing, preferably up-tempo pop stuff. 4 – During planning of second scheme, start realizing that best mate is kinda cute. Just before commission of scheme, play power ballad while either walking along moonlit pier or, if alone, looking at pictures of yourself and best mate. 5a – If plan succeeds and Norwegian girl falls for you, kiss, fade to black. 5b – If plan fails, your best mate will have already realized how great you are, kiss, fade to black. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/12 "2002-04-17T13:53:35Z")
What you need to do is to learn a few Norwegian phrases that you can insert into the conversation at appropriate moments. She will be so impressed that you took the time to learn her language that she will throw herself at you like a lust-crazed bunny on an all-oyster diet. No, really. Here are a few useful starter phrases for you. Repeat the following after me: “Jeg forstaar deg ikke. Orevoksen rain har frosset.”\* “Politimann, en elg har spist [hatt] [frakk] [reisekamerten] min.” \*\* “Noen’s taer hat fait av!”\*\*\* “Hei! Det er MINE taer!” \*\*\*\* Got it? Good! You’re now well on your way to seducing your first Norwegian woman! Happy seducing! [sub]\*“I do not understand you. My earwax has frozen.” \*\*"Officer, a moose has eaten my [hat] [coat] [traveling companion]. \*\*\*“Look! Somebody’s toes have fallen off!” \*\*\*\*“Hey! Those are MY toes!” (Thanks to Dave Barry for the phrases.)[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/13 "2002-04-17T14:22:44Z")
Nothing to add, I just wanted to say: **jr8** , you just got a rare work-place chuckle out of me. Even if you’re only quoting, you know the right quotes to use! ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/14 "2002-04-17T14:27:23Z")
Thanks, **stankow**. I needed a laugh. 😃 :: inserts tape into walkman and plays powerballad :: ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/15 "2002-04-17T16:01:02Z")
If you’re going to make a movie out of this, **stankow** , may I suggest the works of a-ha for part 3 (“up-tempo pop music”), and cast Morten Hakket in a cameo role? (BTW, is this the right place to confess that _both_ of the women I’ve seduced in my relatively booty-free life were fluent in Norwegian?) ---
**Author:** ![Floater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/dc4da7/32.png) [@Floater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Floater)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/16 "2002-04-17T16:16:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by lno \* > \*\* > (But then, Swedish sounds like Danish with a corncob in your throat.) \*\* Sorry, but it’s the other way round. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [April 17, 2002, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/17 "2002-04-17T18:02:29Z")
OK, you want some serious advice? I dated a representative of every Scandinavian country, and even finished with a Finn…(quick, get me a comedic drum beat! Ba-dum-bum-chisssh) Confidence. It takes confidence. They know that they are pretty. They know that they are ‘exotic’ (read: foreign, I’m assuming that she is in your country, not the other way around) and they get attention for it. Plenty of guys fawn over them, make them feel nice and friendly, are buddy-buddy with them, etc. You want to make some headway? Then seperate yourself from those other guys. Don’t fawn, don’t try and get their attention by being overly friendly and silly. Be yourself, relax, and talk to them as if you are talking with an old friend. Laugh, joke, be sarcastic, whatever. She’s probably had a ton of guys fall all over themselves for her, and possibly she enjoys it. Don’t do it. Don’t be a morose ass, but don’t be a sweaty palmed teenager either. At the end of your conversation, you can simply say that you are starting to like her more, would she like to go out on Friday night? IF she says yes, have a plan. Be prepared (being prepared screams confidence) - this place for dinner, then this movie at 8, then coffee at Joe’s afterward. If she says no, don’t be an ass and don’t be flippant(oh, ok, whatever…) or stoic (hhmm, ok, goodbye). Just say “Too bad, OK, well, that’s out of the way…Want to go out on Friday night anyways- we’ll get everyone to go.” You’ll look good if you fall with grace. It might pay off in the end…she might change her mind, and then she’ll let you know (or when her friends find out, one of them might think that that was cool - and they now know you are single and looking…). How this differs from dating other women??? I don’t know if it does. But the Scandinavian girls I went out with generally had too many guys being their “friends” and not enough guys with the balls to ask them out good and proper. But be prepared- she really might say no, and it might only have to do with the fact that she doesn’t want to start anything far away from home. If she does, don’t act all sad and sulk. That will just prove that she was right with her decision. Good luck- -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![Squire-Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Squire-Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squire-Bob)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/18 "2002-04-19T09:54:44Z")
Thanks for the help mates, I am selecting up tempo pop as we speak. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 10:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/19 "2002-04-19T10:52:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by stankow \* > \*\* > I hate to be the one to tell you this, Bob, but you’re living in a romantic comedy movie. So here’s what you must do: > 1 – Hatch wild scheme to get Norwegian girl to notice you. Make sure that your best mate is a key part of the operation. > 2 – Ensure that plan fails, preferably miserably and humiliatingly in front of local alpha male. > 3 – Hatch wilder scheme, this time involving humiliating said alpha male. Make sure you play a lot of Eighties music while preparing, preferably up-tempo pop stuff. > 4 – During planning of second scheme, start realizing that best mate is kinda cute. Just before commission of scheme, play power ballad while either walking along moonlit pier or, if alone, looking at pictures of yourself and best mate. > 5a – If plan succeeds and Norwegian girl falls for you, kiss, fade to black. > 5b – If plan fails, your best mate will have already realized how great you are, kiss, fade to black. \*\* The role of the Norwegian woman will be Jennifer Lopez’s greatest challenge. As for Squire Bob – depending on what effect you’re going for, either Hugh Grant or Bob Hoskins. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [April 19, 2002, 12:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117/20 "2002-04-19T12:43:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Duke \* > \*\*were fluent in Norwegian?) \*\* this **can’t** be as fun as it sounds… [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-seduce-a-woman-from-norway/104117.md?page=2)