May I suggest a write-in campaign, complete with vague unprovable threats and offers of sexual favors? Lord knows I sent them my clips and resume years ago, with no response . . . And now that my Movieline column ended two years ago, I’m as old hat as James Thurber.
–Maj. Gen. Golden
I actually enjoyed Joel Stien and I am not to fond of the stupid questions.
I do have my latest copy of EW with me (still unread) with the first Stephen King coloumn (it has “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” on the cover). I did really enjoy King’s review of “Harry Potter and the Order of the Pheonix”, so I have high hopes for this whenever I manage to get to it 
Ahh! You’ve finally shown up! After that sandstorm a few miles back, I thought you’d never show! Two questions:
Do you accept your mission, as stated about 10 or so posts ago, and,
Where are the others?
(Salutes)
Gen. “Governor Quinn” Fehr,
Commander,
Straight Dope Armed Forces
Maj. Gen., where did you run off to, and where’s the rest of the force? I can’t fight The Dread Joel Stein alone!