Thanks Kim, that’s a cool tip! And welcome to the boards!
I think I might’ve stopped that long in the past though, and I don’t think my cheeks became smooth? I think it’s just bumpy scar tissue now, even if I stop it doesn’t go smooth. I should probably try anyway.
Congrats to you on stopping though, that’s definitely impressive. Huzzah!
I made an appointment to talk a doctor about anti-anxiety meds. Later I decided to cancel it, but my husband warned me that repeated trauma might be a cause for cancer :eek: so I’ll go ahead and keep the damn appointment. I think it’s next month.
In the meantime, I’ll keep trying to stop whenever I notice I’ve started.
I don’t think the pain killer would work. It’s hard to describe why someone needs to chew. It’s not for the pain. It may sound strange, but it feels relaxing. It doesn’t usually hurt me unless I go overboard and chew too much. It is really hard to quit. I have tried letting it heal and get smooth. That works for a while until I hit a stressful time. Then I start chewing again. I’ve tried chewing on gum and rubber, but that only slows me down. It’s embarrassing, and I wish I could stop. I tried telling myself that I’m chewing my own flesh, and that’s gross. I tried telling myself I could get cancer. I’ve been doing it for forty years, and I just can’t stop.
I used to do this. I also used to bite the skin around my nails, compulsively, to the extent that it hurt to use my hands. And I’d bloody the insides of my cheeks til it hurt to talk. And I’d peel strips of skin off my heels til it hurt to walk.
Pretty debilitating anxiety! Talking, walking, and using my hands are fundamental to my day-to-day life, and it hurt to do all three.
I don’t do any of the three anymore. I never saw a therapist or went on medication. I think what changed my behavior was 1) circumstantial changes in my life that lessened my anxiety - it didn’t come from out of nowhere; 2) paying attention to what I was thinking about when I caught myself savagely ripping into my skin. Generally my mind was going down a dark path where I was worrying about something I didn’t need to worry about, or beating myself up for something dumb I’d said. I guess mindfulness is what I’d call it. I started recognizing those thought pathways as useless.
Nowadays I say “I hate you” aloud to myself, as a way of halting my brain from sauntering down those well-worn destructive pathways. I am able to control myself from saying it loud enough for other people to hear. When in public I whisper or mouth it. When alone in a room I mutter it. I wish the phrase was a positive one. It’s not something I consciously chose to start doing. It’s probably still unhealthy, but better than having a bloody mouth, fingers and heels.
Good description Ardara, that’s exactly what it’s like for me.
Isilder, for me it’s not the feeling in the cheeks, it’s the action of doing it. If I put painkiller on my cheeks I wouldn’t know when to stop and probably chew a hole right through! :eek:
BUT, the only reason you are chewing on the gum is for the sensation … painkiller stops ALL sensation so there’s no reason to do it… it also makes it harder to get the cheek between the teeth…
Nope, not for the sensation to my cheeks, even if there was no sensation in my cheeks, I would still bite them. Its the sensation of the biting, the little loose bits of skin lifting up and taunting me … “Here I am … bite me off …” and the intense sense of satisfaction I get from fulfilling their request!!
I looked up this thread to see how others had conquered this habit and am going to talk to my therapist about it next week and see if she has any insights. I like the idea of deconstruction - she has deconstructed a lot of my other bad habits and helped me conquer those. I’ll keep ya posted!
I was doing this in my sleep and eventually the clenching led to a crack in one of my back teeth. I’ve just had it extracted and in time will be getting an implant to replace that tooth. I now sleep with a mouthguard…I should have done it years ago and spared myself the situation I’m in now.
The relaxing feeling misleading, a response to the cheek chewing addiction. Like when you’re feeling irritable trying to resist the urge until you finally give in - succumbing to that anger-alleviating fix that only molars on the inside of your mouth can provide.
So I spoke with my therapist about it this morning and she had some interesting insights:
This is a very mild form of OCD - where you obsess over those taunting nasty little bits of skin for example - but is also used as a form of comfort, emotional satisfaction etc.
Biting to the point of mild (almost pleasurable) pain, is similar in it’s purpose to people who cut themselves. The physical release of pain and following endorphines is usually a mental (and often unconscious) distraction from some form of emotional pain. Deal with the emotional pain and the need for the distraction will be greatly reduced.
I do it all day long, even without thinking about it or being conscious of it. She mentioned that cheek chewers tend to have a high need for oral stimulation (they like things in their mouths) and were often thumb suckers when they were kids. It is a subconscious form of comfort or a mental safety net.
But … she gave me a couple of tips on how to break the habit - and it will take time:
Start off small - when you’re sitting at your desk at work, for example - make yourself conscious of the unconscious habit and bring it to the front of your mind. Make a particular, conscious effort to resist doing it for 3 minutes. Time yourself … hahaha, for me, that was way harder than it sounds. When I was conscious of it, all I wanted to do was gnaw but had to mentally resist.
When you meet your little goal of resisting, congratulate yourself, feel good about it. Give yourself a treat - I have an aromatherapy nasal sniffy thing that I sniff when I win - makes my brain associate resistance of the habit with something positive.
Each day, try to increase your mental goal.
Since we have a mental desire for oral stimulation, try getting this stimulation using other methods. Suggestions:
a) Chewing gum - while this is only a temporary fix and I continue to chew afterwards, this can provide at least some satisfaction.
b) Flavored Ice water - I found this to be surprisingly successful in providing oral stimulation - the flavor and then the ice pieces afterwards gave a lot of satisfaction. Whenever I find myself conscious that I’m chewing I sip instead … added bonus of keeping hydrated!!
Biting your lips and cheeks is a form of body language. It is an emotional response to something going on in your life. Try to identify how and what you are feeling when you bite yur lips and address the cause of your feelings. It may relate to holding things in or internalizing small things.
I appreciated that, Junokiwi. I was going to talk to my doctor about it, but had a brain fart and missed the appointment. And I hate going to the doctor anyway.
good stuff, i may have another helpful solution that may also be in vogue. carry a small object with you & consciously bite on that thing. whenever you catch yourself biting yourself, switch to the object. maybe over time, youll unconciously start biting the object and not yourself. im going to try this and see how it works for me. will report my findings each week (if i remember). i plan on carrying a small piece of plastic or wood. stupid? probably. :smack:
