# How To Stop Evil Co-Worker **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 22, 2012, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512 "2012-03-22T16:36:13Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Sam\_I\_Am](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sam\_I\_Am](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_I_Am)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/41 "2012-03-23T02:47:52Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Thank you all for the great (and sometimes bizarre) suggestions! > > Her “pychic” attempts do not come from Facebook or from any source of info - stuff just pops out of her head. She will say, “I can tell you’re a dog person…” and that person will say, “No, I have six cats…” and she will say, “I knew you liked pets…” etc. She is NEVER wrong, and will twist her great insight until she hits a nail on the head or at least convinces you she knows more about you than you think. Many idiots fall for this age-old con game tactic and really think she knows “stuff”. > > She loves to give helpful suggestions like, “Be careful what you say around Bob, I can tell he is watching what you are doing and he is good friends with Jackie in Human Resources.” Most likely Bob has never even noticed that person and has never heard of Jackie in Human Resources, but now the seed of thought has been planted and Bob becomes suspect. For scenarios like this it would be possible to play along to the extreme. “Yes, I love dogs. I have sixteen of them, and they all sleep on my bed! I end up sleeping on the couch.” “Oh, I know about Bob, I saw him bugging the VP’s office the other day!”. Although that will piss her off, and it sounds like you might be better off to stay under the radar as much as possible. Another possibility is a general muttering “you know me better than myself” (which should appease her) then wander off or change the subject. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/42 "2012-03-23T03:04:50Z")
> [@rachelellogram](#): > > 1. Make up rumors about her in revenge and circulate them far and fast. I’ve used this successfully. I don’t like gossip about real people. Talk about celebrities if you need to chatter about other people. ---
**Author:** ![Pai325](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Pai325](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pai325)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/43 "2012-03-23T03:25:06Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Yeah. Almost no company does that. No one is checking where you go on the web or following your Facebook posts in any official capacity. Schools often do. Facebook, YouTube, Reddit and such are blocked, but if you’re on something else that doesnt seem like it pertains to your job, you’ll get asked about it. Schools are a little different, though. No one wants his kid’s kindergarten teacher browsing web sites all day. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 6:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/44 "2012-03-23T06:03:22Z")
Buy her nice booze and lots of candy she likes to eat. Lots of booze. And hope she is an alcoholic, which she probably is. This will endear you to her and be her downfall. As an alternative, just send her booze anonymously at home. Lots of it. But don’t do both. Just one. Or, find another job at another company. Sue her for defamation if she ever says that you are incompetent when she is making up psychic shit. Choose one. I recommend get another job. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/45 "2012-03-23T09:39:59Z")
My 2 Cents. Unless she is the wife of the President, or similarly involved. Make an e-mail address and send an anonymous e-mail to president with essentially what you’ve written here. Make sure it can in no way be tracked back to you and has no identifying information. The effective thing I think this will do is to plant the kernel of doubt in the president’s head. You could consider sending it to everybody. Then maybe more people will come out of the woodworks against her, but I think that steps over the line. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/46 "2012-03-23T10:35:19Z")
Harmonix, the first thing that popped into my mind while reading your suggestion… “Anonymous emails to the President? I dunno, it’s not smart to screw around with the Secret Service.” :smack: ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/47 "2012-03-23T11:54:03Z")
> [@Senegoid](#): > > Well, THAT may not be true, if we can believe what I posted here: > [Employers now demanding job applicants Facebook passwords - In My Humble Opinion - Straight Dope Message Board](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=646034) It is and it isn’t. I spent 6 years working in electronic discovery and computer forensics. Baically all the information is saved in server logs and email archives and as fragments of deleted files on your hard drive. And depending on their regulatory requirements certain companies or industries will purchase monitoring software. And some companies will passively block certain sites. But actually getting at this information in a structured way is time consuming and expensive. Companies tend to only dig it up when they are actively investigating someone. Typically an IT department is too swamped with their day to day work to sit there actively monitoring employees to see what web sites they browse. I can’t comment on schools, but given their limited budget and resources, I would imagine that more often word of parental mouth about someone’s Facebook postings are enough compliance activities. > [@Harmonix](#): > > My 2 Cents. > > Unless she is the wife of the President, or similarly involved. > > Make an e-mail address and send an anonymous e-mail to president with essentially what you’ve written here. Make sure it can in no way be tracked back to you and has no identifying information. The effective thing I think this will do is to plant the kernel of doubt in the president’s head. > > You could consider sending it to everybody. Then maybe more people will come out of the woodworks against her, but I think that steps over the line. “What is this bullshit?” _Mark as SPAM_ Presidents and CEOs have better things to do than get involved in petty office bickering. > [@The Second Stone](#): > > Buy her nice booze and lots of candy she likes to eat. Lots of booze. And hope she is an alcoholic, which she probably is. This will endear you to her and be her downfall. As an alternative, just send her booze anonymously at home. Lots of it. But don’t do both. Just one. Again…not trying to ACTUALLY sleep with her. > [@The Second Stone](#): > > Or, find another job at another company. Yeah, you could do this. But every company has jerks and you can’t just pack up and go whenever the social situation is uncomfortible. > [@The Second Stone](#): > > Sue her for defamation if she ever says that you are incompetent when she is making up psychic shit. Yes, turn your army of attornies on retainer against her. Problem is this is expensive for you and you still need to show damages besides “made me feel sad”. I mean really, what is this person actually “doing” to the OP other than spreading annoying office gossip? Try to relax. Both you bitches are pretty. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Harmonix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonix)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/48 "2012-03-23T12:02:27Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > “What is this bullshit?” _Mark as SPAM_ > > Presidents and CEOs have better things to do than get involved in petty office bickering. An e-mail with specifics about named co-workers and actions she has taken is not spam. As long as prez guy actually opens the e-mail s/he would probably read it. Besides, what is there to lose? There are no repercussions if the prez just marks it as spam. It would only be part of a multi-pronged strategy to take down evil-coworker. ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/49 "2012-03-23T12:37:40Z")
Repeat as often as necessary: “Who told you that? Oh, sounds like her meds talking again. What have they got her on!” ---
**Author:** ![jz78817](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jz78817/32/1028_2.png) [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 1:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/50 "2012-03-23T13:18:29Z")
> [@Eliahna](#): > > Repeat as often as necessary: “Who told you that? Oh, sounds like her meds talking again. What have they got her on!” then she’ll spin it as “DMark is spreading lies about me! Isn’t he such a horrible person?” sociopaths can twist almost anything to their benefit and have the uncanny ability to get people to believe them. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/51 "2012-03-23T13:32:13Z")
> [@jz78817](#): > > then she’ll spin it as “DMark is spreading lies about me! Isn’t he such a horrible person?” > > sociopaths can twist almost anything to their benefit and have the uncanny ability to get people to believe them. Yeah, bringing up her meds or medical condition is too risky. If you don’t choose your words carefully you could end up looking bad even with no twisting at all on her part, especially if you say the wrong thing to a member of her fan club. ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/52 "2012-03-23T13:52:35Z")
This sounds exactly like the woman who got my wife fired after 27 years at her job. Her cozy relationship with the director of the organization got her into positions of increasing responsibility that she wasn’t qualified for. She made sure she was seen as a real go-getter even though most of her business decisions were complete crap. She always managed to get credit for herself when things went well and got others to take the fall when things went bad. Talented people who had been with the organization for many years got canned so she could bring in her incompetent cronies to take their places. (My wife used to joke that it was like a mini version of the Bush administration.) I kept telling my wife she needed to find another job but she had been there so long she thought she could hold out another few years until retirement. Unfortunately it didn’t work out that way. My advice is to get out while you can. If she has the ear of someone in authority there is really nothing you can do other than constantly watch your back. ---
**Author:** ![Wheelz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wheelz/32/5718_2.png) [@Wheelz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheelz)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 2:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/53 "2012-03-23T14:49:45Z")
1. Document every positive thing you accomplish at work. Everything. Print it on paper and keep a file in the back of your desk drawer. Just in case. 2. Try not to let the psycho bother you. Do not feed into her negative energy. If she comes to you with gossip (about you or anybody else) respond with a slight nod and a “huh.” Then immediately change the subject, preferably to something work-related. “Say, I was just looking over the Veeblefester contract. Do you think paragraph 6 is too vague?” 3. Say nothing to the president or any other higher-ups. Really. They don’t care about this shit. 4. In the (very unlikely, IMO) event that Ms. Evil’s antics call your professional competence into queston and you are required to defend yourself to your superiors, see step 1 and refer to your file documenting your excellent work history. 5. Unless 4 happens, see 3. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/54 "2012-03-23T15:01:11Z")
> [@Wheelz](#): > > 1. Document every positive thing you accomplish at work. Everything. Print it on paper and keep a file in the back of your desk drawer. Just in case. Keep a copy at home. Just in case. If the sociopath gets you fired, you might not be able to get any documents out of your desk. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/55 "2012-03-23T15:39:37Z")
Granted, this was in school, but the only strategy I’ve successfully used is to be well liked by anyone in charge of me, and to just stay off in my own world otherwise–being just nice enough that no one could exactly hate me. The latter is a weird type of laying low where everyone knows who you are, but no one gives a crap about you. I don’t know how successfully you could apply this in the real world. Getting teachers to like you is easy. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 23, 2012, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/56 "2012-03-23T17:44:42Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Again…not trying to ACTUALLY sleep with her. > > Yes, turn your army of attornies on retainer against her. Problem is this is expensive for you and you still need to show damages besides “made me feel sad”. > I mean really, what is this person actually “doing” to the OP other than spreading annoying office gossip? > Try to relax. Both you bitches are pretty. Thing is, I’m an attorney and I do a lot of defamation cases. If someone defames you at your trade, you don’t need to show damages in most jurisdictions. This is a situation where you’ve called the hammer salesman and he recommends a hammer. But it does happen to look like the problem is a nail. Not that I recommend a hammer. I recommended getting another job. As for the booze, its a way to get her fired. She will get hammered all the time with free booze and get fired. Never tried it. Works with people who like to drink. I’d imagine. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [March 27, 2012, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/57 "2012-03-27T22:35:47Z")
Before following the most popular suggestion, read the [blueprint](http://jameshilston.com/pages/reading/catbird_seat.htm). > [@DMark](#): > > …this woman has a direct line to the president of the company who seems to think he is getting the “inside dirt” on his employees. And that’s the real problem: the woman fills a niche, and even if you get rid of her, she’ll merely be replaced unless the Stasi-style of management ends. If your president fears and mistrusts his employees, be grateful that he’s making it so obvious and start your escape plan now. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/58 "2012-03-28T01:23:33Z")
I guess the upside is that **DMark** has a known evil at this job. ---
**Author:** ![Borzo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/43a26b/32.png) [@Borzo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Borzo)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/59 "2012-03-28T12:11:34Z")
> [@ZPG\_Zealot](#): > > Read Snakes and Suits and the Sociopath Next Door. I just finished reading [Snakes in Suits: When psychopaths go to work](http://www.amazon.com/Snakes-Suits-When-Psychopaths-Work/dp/0061147893/) last week. That book really shows you how serious a situation like this can get without you realizing what’s going on until it’s too late. The book offers lots of good advice, but the key is to act sooner rather than later. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2012, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512/60 "2012-03-28T13:53:15Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > How about being honest with people instead of defensive. > > If someone comes to you and says, “Are you okay?” roll your eyes and say, “You must have been talking to Ms Evil. Yeah, she likes to make things up sometimes, makes her boring life exciting. Be careful what you say around her.” Try to be casual and humourous, not angry and accusatory. Or you can do the hush hush leaning thing (“Yeah, did you know she makes stuff up all the time? Crazy, huh?”) I like this. It’s not passive-aggressive, it’s not “clever” in a way that will backfire, and it’s not underhanded. Simply call her out on her shit, in front of her and in front of others. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-evil-co-worker/616512.md?page=4)