# How to stop "train-of-questions" people
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion
**Created:** [November 13, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529 "2017-11-13T15:17:05Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/1 "2017-11-13T15:17:05Z")
Anybody have advice on how to politely stop someone who likes to ask “trains of questions?” By which I mean people who turn every answer you give to a question, into a next question.
Hypothetical (but not far off from real life) example:
-
“How are you today?”\*
“Good.”
_“In which way good?”_
“Umm, good, that’s all.” _tries to shuffle away_
_“You didn’t answer me. In which way are you good?”_
“Hey, um, I don’t really want to talk right now, sorry.”
_“Why don’t you want to talk?”_
“I’m just not feeling like it.”
_“Why? Why aren’t you feeling like talking?”_
“I’m just tired, that’s all. Didn’t get much sleep last night.”
_“Why didn’t you get much sleep?”_
“I just didn’t.”
“Why? Were you on the computer too late?”
“No, no” _don’t-want-to-talk hand gesture_
_“Hey, I’m **asking you a question**!”_
---
### Author:  [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/2 "2017-11-13T15:19:41Z")
Ask them questions:
“How are you today?”
“Good. How are you?”
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### Author:  [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/3 "2017-11-13T15:28:13Z")
I’d ask them why they are interogating me, and then I’d walk away before they could ask me another question.
If someone is being rude to you, you don’t have to worry about being nice.
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### Author:  [@Velocity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Velocity)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/4 "2017-11-13T15:35:12Z")
> [@monstro](#):
>
> I’d ask them why they are interogating me, and then I’d walk away before they could ask me another question.
>
> If someone is being rude to you, you don’t have to worry about being nice.
That would be useful except in cultures where you are supposed to show respect to certain people and there are other people around…
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### Author:  [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/5 "2017-11-13T15:36:59Z")
Generally, at some point, I answer “42” and then walk away quickly before they can follow up.
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### Author:  [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/6 "2017-11-13T15:46:04Z")
This is passive aggressive behavior and it should not be tolerated by anyone, cultural norms notwithstanding. They take advantage of other peoples’ desire to appear polite. The only way to deal with it is to be honest and direct: “I don’t want to talk to you. Your endless series of questions is tedious and a waste of my time. I do not owe you any answers. You can keep talking, but I am still going to walk away. Goodbye.”
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### Author:  [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/7 "2017-11-13T15:54:23Z")
> [@Velocity](#):
>
> That would be useful except in cultures where you are supposed to show respect to certain people and there are other people around…
Then I guess you can’t do anything. You’re only recourse is to sit there and listen, respectfully. Right?
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### Author:  [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/8 "2017-11-13T16:00:35Z")
You need to quit responding seriously.
_In what way are you good?_
“My explosive diarrhea problem is almost resolved”, or “the grand jury refused to indict” or “the penis enlargement pills are starting to kick in” or something to change the topic.
Seriously, who does this kind of thing? My mom can be pushy, but I can usually distract her by asking about her gall bladder or something.
Regards,
Shodan
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### Author:  [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/9 "2017-11-13T16:01:26Z")
> [@Velocity](#):
>
> That would be useful except in cultures where you are supposed to show respect to certain people and there are other people around…
But enough about me. How are your hemmorhoids? I notice you’ve had trouble sitting down lately…
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### Author:  [@jz78817](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jz78817)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/10 "2017-11-13T16:23:04Z")
> [@QuickSilver](#):
>
> But enough about me. How are your hemmorhoids? I notice you’ve had trouble sitting down lately…
That’s _enough,_ Mr. Connery.
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### Author:  [@monstro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monstro)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/11 "2017-11-13T16:38:15Z")
> [@Velocity](#):
>
> That would be useful except in cultures where you are supposed to show respect to certain people and there are other people around…
I wouldn’t walk away from my boss. Or my parents or grandmother. But your OP didn’t specify “certain people”. I assumed you were talking about some rando at your workplace.
If it’s someone you are obligated to show respect towards, then you do whatever you can to entertain them while maintaining your sanity/personal boundaries. “I’m doing good, Whateveryournameis. How are you doing? What do I mean by doing ‘good’? It means I’m doing well, Whateveryournameis. Well, I’m heading out now. You have a good day.”
For some rando in the workplace, you wouldn’t necessarily have to treat them with such kindness.
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### Author:  [@Barkis\_is\_Willin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Barkis_is_Willin)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/12 "2017-11-13T16:39:03Z")
When I read the title of this thread, I thought of a coworker who tends to ask a million questions about work related stuff that he could probably find answers for himself if he put in a bit of effort. With him, I try to direct him to a source that will have his desired information.
But the OP’s example is something I would expect from a 6 year old, not an adult. I don’t know how I’d respond if an adult asked me, “in which way are you good?” Probably just a blank stare back.
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### Author:  [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/13 "2017-11-13T17:03:36Z")
In response to “in what way are you good?” I’d probably go into full Mr. Data mode: “I am functioning within normal parameters.”
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### Author:  [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/14 "2017-11-13T18:06:54Z")
> [@monstro](#):
>
> I wouldn’t walk away from my boss. Or my parents or grandmother.
Yeah, I’m self employed and my parents are both gone.
I have no problem walking away from a wacko, although it has cost me money at work.
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### Author:  [@cochrane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cochrane)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/15 "2017-11-13T18:33:45Z")
To every question, ask, “Why do you want to know?”
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### Author:  [@BeeGee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BeeGee)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/16 "2017-11-13T19:20:09Z")
> [@Velocity](#):
>
> That would be useful except in cultures where you are supposed to show respect to certain people and there are other people around…
In what culture are you supposed to show respect to someone who addresses you “Hey, I’m talking to you!”?
You show respect by being polite. Respectfulness does not require that I open my private life up to someone just because they’re older or have seniority in the workplace.
How are you?
Fine.
In what way?
In general. That’s as far as I care to analyze it.
If that’s disrespectful, I’d be in a world of trouble since that’s the absolute limit of “nice” I’d be in this situation. My real answer would be “Why?”
“Why? Why does this matter to you? Can you fix it or change it? Does it alter the course of your day? Or do you just like to ask people questions to watch them squirm?”
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/17 "2017-11-13T19:21:22Z")
> [@Velocity](#):
>
> That would be useful except in cultures where you are supposed to show respect to certain people and there are other people around…
So violate those cultural norms. You have nothing to lose but your irritation with the crazy person.
Your particular example dialog sounds like an Asbergery sort of character with no concept of social boundaries. IME most of those folks have enough self-insight to recognize they’re atypical despite wanting at least some to fit in. Even if they lack the ability or inclination to put in the up-front effort to pass for typical.
For many of those folks, a simple “You’re acting badly. I refuse to engage when you do that.” is a gentle bop on the nose with the newspaper that reminds them when they’re acting up. Which makes them quit doing it. For the moment. Which is all you need to escape.
If you can’t muster that, your choices are reduced to stand there and take it, or stand there and take it.
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### Author:  [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 7:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/18 "2017-11-13T19:31:34Z")
Probably too specific to the scenario described by the OP, but once you get asked “Why don’t you want to talk?”, I’d just start repeating the same answer until someone got bored and gave up.
In other cases, do the hand-up gesture sooner, and when the interrogator gives the agitated “Hey, **I’m asking you a question!** ”, just respond “I’ve answered enough of your questions; stop now.”
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### Author:  [@LSLGuy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LSLGuy)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/19 "2017-11-13T19:44:43Z")
Making a disgusted noise and walking away is the most effective.
If you want to go full-on “best defense is a good offense” you should answer their first question straight up.
Then when they ask #2, ask them instead what your answer was to #1. When they can’t recall what it was (and they won’t be able to), put on your most contemptuous voice and tell them that since they’re not smart enough to remember a simple answer for 15 seconds, you’re not going to waste more time saying more stuff they also won’t listen to or remember.
THEN make the disgusted noise, turn and walk away.
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### Author:  [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)
#### Post date: [November 13, 2017, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-stop-train-of-questions-people/801529/20 "2017-11-13T19:48:06Z")
Throat-punch.
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