# How to survive a pitting? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [February 15, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303 "2003-02-15T21:14:36Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/1 "2003-02-15T21:14:36Z")
Ever been pitted? I haven’t, yet, but I’ve noticed a trend in pit threads where a doper “calls out” anoher doper. Sometimes, the “pitee” (my term for the person being pitted) simply doesn’t post to the thread. This may be because they don’t visit the pit, or they intentionally ignore the thread. In any case, more often than not, the pitee comes out as a saint, while the pitter ends up looking like an evil bastard. Often, if the pitee tries to defend themselves in the thread, a meltdown occurs, the issues get confused, and the pitee gets piled on. This seems to particularly apply when a mod is pitted, however I guess that the mods have much less time to be bothered with fighting their corner is pit threads. So, what gives? If you are pitted, is it best to just ignore the thread? ---
**Author:** ![Q.E.D](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/51bf81/32.png) [@Q.E.D](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.E.D)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/2 "2003-02-15T21:21:30Z")
I don’t worry about it. I’m waaaaaaaay too cool to get pitted. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/3 "2003-02-15T21:35:45Z")
[An example of a Pitee who doesn’t show for his party, but still looks bad.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=158805) [An example of the pitee showing up and coming out smelling like a rose.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=160791) It depends on the circumstance, really. ---
**Author:** ![Fred](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/db5fbb/32.png) [@Fred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fred)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/4 "2003-02-15T21:40:33Z")
I’m not exactly the voice of experience, in that I’ve been pitted only once. It was by **Esprix** , of course, which counts for something. But it was a long time ago, and I’d be surprised if he even remembers it. The answer to your question depends on the merits of the Pitter’s complaint. If you were, indeed, acting like a jerk/asshole whatever, and you get called on it, it’s largely irrelevent whether you show up or not. You will be piled on in absentia. In this instance, it would be best to post an apology for your actions. Everyone will say “Geez, what a class act that **samarm** is.” On the other hand, if you are Pitted but totally blameless, a reverse pile-on will occur, and you can show up if only to laugh muchly at the poor poor Pitter whose weapon backfired (Think **Cisco** in his recent thread about **Shayna**.) There really isn’t a reason to avoid a Pitting, unless you aren’t big enough to admit your mistakes or stand by your actions. ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/5 "2003-02-15T21:45:43Z")
Thanks for the links, **Biggirl**. I guess this is what “YMMV” was coined for. It seems that the truth comes out, eventually, in pit threads. Enough people post to the thread, the issues get discussed. By the end of the thread, a general concensus is reached as to whether the pitee is a goat-fucker or not. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/6 "2003-02-15T21:48:07Z")
I can help. As a meltdown survivor, I can testify that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. The best way to endure it is not to take it very seriously. You never know how things will go. A lot of times, you’ll be pitted and even your best friends won’t show up to defend you. And then again, you’ll be pitted and people you didn’t even know will come to your defense. It’s pretty much a crap shoot. Most pit wallowers tend to cheer on the one who is the most belligerent and rhetorically bellicose. They also like cock fights. Some people expressed concern for me recently because I used to melt down twice a year. But nowadays, I just go “feh”. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/7 "2003-02-15T21:49:43Z")
Oh, and I have never been seriously pitted. I have no idea why. For real. I’ve seen the nicest people pitted on the flimsiest of premises and while I am a bitch. Or so I’ve been told. It must be because I’m always right. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/8 "2003-02-15T21:51:26Z")
Actually, Biggirl, I think it’s because you’re very cool. 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/9 "2003-02-15T21:57:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*Oh, and I have never been seriously pitted. I have no idea why. For real. I’ve seen the nicest people pitted on the flimsiest of premises and while I am a bitch. Or so I’ve been told. > > It must be because I’m always right. \*\* That’s what I tell myself too, although I suspect the real explanation may be that people are afraid I’ll kill them and devour the body. I picked this username for a _reason_ – intimidation, baby! The same idea probably applies to you. You’re such a big girl they just _know_ you’d be able to whup their sad, scrawny little behinds! I feel sorry for people with wimpy sounding usernames, they get Pitted all the time. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/10 "2003-02-15T22:28:56Z")
I think you you’re right, Lamia. Mine looks a lot like Librarian. ---
**Author:** ![Beagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/85f322/32.png) [@Beagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beagle)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/11 "2003-02-15T22:35:48Z")
I’ve only been pitted in existing pit threads, if that makes any sense. I’ve never had my own personal pile-on meltdown thread because I said something really objectionable. Not that I never said anything really objectionable, nosiree. Just not pitted yet. Oh, and don’t try it, I’m a Pit Beagle. IMO, the best ways to _avoid_ a pitting, also: the best ways to not sit screaming in front of your computer for want of an edit function are, don’t say anything really stupid, hit preview twice each post, check the forum, count to ten, then hit submit. Besides, if you post too much the rodents cry. ---
**Author:** ![Hamadryad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/6de8d8/32.png) [@Hamadryad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamadryad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/12 "2003-02-15T22:54:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Biggirl \* > \*\*Oh, and I have never been seriously pitted. I have no idea why. For real. I’ve seen the nicest people pitted on the flimsiest of premises and while I am a bitch. Or so I’ve been told. > > It must be because I’m always right. \*\* You and me both. Then again, YOU’RE the one who’s a traitor to her race. 😃 [sub]For the humor-impaired, I am kidding. Biggirl and I get along like a house afire…bright, cheerful, and resulting in almost total destruction.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/13 "2003-02-15T23:07:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Libertarian \* > \*\*I think you you’re right, Lamia. Mine looks a lot like Librarian. \*\* Maybe if you ask the mods they’ll let you change it to something that sounds tougher, like “Libertarian the Barbian”. You’d probably have to start weaing knee-boots and a fur kilt then, though. ---
**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2003, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/14 "2003-02-15T23:43:04Z")
What are you, nuts? Then he’d just get a lot of snide comments about his Barbie doll fetish. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@I\_can\_t\_believe\_that\_s\_butter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_can_t_believe_that_s_butter)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 12:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/15 "2003-02-16T00:23:52Z")
I’ve actually received what could be construed as a compliment in the Pit, oddly enough. **Reverend Mykeru** , in the now-infamous Pat Robertson thread, attempted a rebuttal to my suggestion (that he was harboring too much hate for his own good) by asking if someone smelled patchouli, and were those some nature sounds CDs he “spied on the shelf”. The incense is in the other room, and those CDs are on the bookshelf not 10 feet away. So, I guess I mean to say that it is silly to be offended by accusations that may be a part of who you are. That’s one way to survive. [sup]Unless someone calls you a goat-felcher. Hope no-one has a common thread with _that_sort of thing…[/sup] ---
**Author:** ![Drastic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Drastic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drastic)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 12:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/16 "2003-02-16T00:52:30Z")
In pure theory (I’m one of the inexplicably non-Pitted): To survive a Pitting in the strictest sense, avoid doing anything banworthy however you handle your defense. For some personalities, this makes not responding at all the best option. (There’s scattered examples of moments of clarity where someone realized they shouldn’t be in the Pit at all anymore, and far more examples of meltdowns ending in ye olde Banned tag.) Beyond that, this is what I personally use in choosing which scorecard to hold up: 1: degree of reasonableness (note: a passionate defense is not the opposite of reasonableness, necessarily–it just increases the chances of people losing control of the fire hose). 2: honesty. Everything a poster has said, good and bad, not counting Winter of Missed Content (and come to that, that content may very well be findable on Boardreader or such), is out there on record. If you insist you didn’t say something, make pretty damn sure it’s something you didn’t say. 3: Never, under any circumstances, say “I’m done with this thread!” (or variant) and then (inevitably) return to posting in it. It’s like preparing for a fight by punching yourself in the groin. 4: Avoid drama. “Drama” here in the sense of something you’d be embarassed to read a year down the road. 5: If you feel the need to start mucking about with font size settings, stop right there and just stay offline for at least a day. Take walks instead. Read a book. Watch TV. Call up a friend you haven’t spoken with for awhile. Because the long arm of the Law of 72 will break your wrist if you try to arm-wrestle it. 6: Oliver Cromwell has a justifiably famous quote: “I beseech you, in the bowels of Christ, think it possible that you may be mistaken.” When things are heated and in the Pit, perceptions color, and lack of clarity of sight is a self-stoking cycle. 7: Let truth prevail over victory. If you’re in the wrong, apologize. Don’t try to be clever or funny about apologizing, just do so simply and clearly. Some won’t accept it, and some will fall all over themselves congratulating you on your class–don’t put much investment into either group, and work on the latter apology-stage that usually gets overlooked–that being _improvement_. Some of those points overlap. And they’re just factors in how I personally will judge a “winner” of a Pitting–others will vary. For instance, some will judge you entirely on how cleverly you can swear at someone, and following the points above won’t serve you well at all with them. ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/17 "2003-02-16T01:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*I feel sorry for people with wimpy sounding usernames, they get Pitted all the time. \*\* Thaat explains it… “I neva fucked anybody over in my life, who didn’t have it comin’ to 'im, you got that? All I have in this world is my balls, and my word, and I don’t break 'em for no one, jou understand?” (Tony to Sosa) ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 1:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/18 "2003-02-16T01:10:00Z")
How about licking em? Drastic: nice post! ---
**Author:** ![Tony\_Montana](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/278dde/32.png) [@Tony\_Montana](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tony_Montana)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/19 "2003-02-16T01:13:45Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by samarm \* > \*\*How about licking em? > > Drastic: nice post! \*\* Be my guest… ---
**Author:** ![samarm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4da419/32.png) [@samarm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samarm)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2003, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303/20 "2003-02-16T01:16:22Z")
:eek: _:runs away from Tony:_ [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-survive-a-pitting/155303.md?page=2)