# How to tell if a movie sucks. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [July 21, 2013, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088 "2013-07-21T03:53:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/61 "2013-07-22T21:35:27Z")
Ryan Reynolds ---
**Author:** ![42fish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/4/b487fb/32.png) [@42fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/42fish)\ **Post date:** [July 22, 2013, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/62 "2013-07-22T23:45:06Z")
Excessive ellipses in the quoted reviews: “Brilliant… acting.” (Edited down from something like “The usually brilliant Laurence Olivier turns in the worst acting of his career.”) ---
**Author:** ![Slithy\_Tove](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/slithy_tove/32/18248_2.png) [@Slithy\_Tove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slithy_Tove)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/63 "2013-07-23T00:40:09Z")
> [@Crafter\_Man](#): > > If the movie is not science fiction or fantasy, yet relies on CGI, the movie will probably suck. True when it was new and show-offy, but nowadays CGI is as integral as sound and lighting. [featurette on the CGI in Zodiac](http://youtu.be/xW2xhBSfFps) ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/64 "2013-07-23T01:39:43Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > I enjoyed the only Paris Hilton movie I’ve watched. She’s got a talent. I see what you did there. 😃 So, we’re on page 2, and no one has mentioned Kevin Costner yet? Except for Field of Dreams, of course. Even he could not botch that one. ---
**Author:** ![Exapno\_Mapcase](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/exapno_mapcase/32/1051_2.png) [@Exapno\_Mapcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Exapno_Mapcase)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/65 "2013-07-23T02:32:21Z")
No, we’re on page 1. You can set the default to 200 posts per page. (Or 150 posts per page. Or 100 posts per page.) User CP -\> Edit Options. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/66 "2013-07-23T02:55:33Z")
> [@](#): > > If the movie is not science fiction or fantasy, yet relies on CGI, the movie will probably suck. Even if the movie IS science fiction or fantasy, if the CGI is the best part of the movie, it sucks. See “Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within”. Actually, don’t see it. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2013, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/67 "2013-07-23T04:34:28Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Eric Roberts Was in Midnight Express with a major role and it is a GREAT film. ---
**Author:** ![A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a87d85/32.png) [@A\_Dodgy\_Dude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/A_Dodgy_Dude)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2013, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/68 "2013-07-25T23:46:12Z")
If Howard Stern likes it, it probably sucks. ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/69 "2013-07-26T02:52:06Z")
> [@DummyGladHands](#): > > Eric Roberts > > > [@Zebra](#): > > > > Was in Midnight Express with a major role and it is a GREAT film. _Midnight Express_ is a good film, major role for Eric Roberts . . . not so much, > [@](#): > > [Cast](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0077928/) overview, first billed only: > > Brad Davis - Billy Hayes > Irene Miracle - Susan > Bo Hopkins - Tex > Paolo Bonacelli - Rifki > Paul L. Smith - Hamidou > Randy Quaid - Jimmy Booth > Norbert Weisser - Erich > John Hurt - Max > Mike Kellin - Mr. Hayes > Franco Diogene - Yesil > Michael Ensign - Stanley Daniels > Gigi Ballista - Chief Judge > Kevork Malikyan - Prosecutor > Peter Jeffrey - Ahmet > Joe Zammit Cordina - Airport Customs Officer CMC fnord! ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2013, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/70 "2013-07-26T03:40:35Z")
Yeah but Eric Roberts was also in [Runaway Train](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089941/?ref_=fn_al_tt_2) (along with Jon Voight and Rebecca DeMornay) and he was awesome there. He was also great in the very under-rated (and under-viewed) [Rude Awakening](http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0098230/). ---
**Author:** ![Schism](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@Schism](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Schism)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/71 "2013-07-27T02:53:41Z")
Car chases aren’t _always_ bad. The French Connection and To Live and Die in L.A. both had great car chase scenes. They weren’t overdone, were filmed beautifully and both were IMO, epic. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/72 "2013-07-27T13:02:35Z")
I loved Eric Roberts in Star 80 (which a poster alluded to). But none of that matters, because through the magic of fatherhood he has been kind enough to bestow great pulchritude upon the human race! 😉 As for my red flag for a bad film…if it’s playing in more than one theater at our city’s multiplex, there’s a 90% chance it sucks. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/73 "2013-07-27T13:42:10Z")
A warning to all that something went seriously wrong with the movie: Directed by Alan Smithee ---
**Author:** ![Quimby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/22d042/32.png) [@Quimby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quimby)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 2:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/74 "2013-07-27T14:35:35Z")
“Featuring Rob Schneider…” ---
**Author:** ![GrandWino](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grandwino/32/67_2.png) [@GrandWino](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GrandWino)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/75 "2013-07-27T15:29:12Z")
If a movie’s posters are plastered on the sides of buses or taxi cabs, it’s going to suck. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/76 "2013-07-27T15:52:50Z")
> [@leftfield6](#): > > So, we’re on page 2, and no one has mentioned Kevin Costner yet? Except for Field of Dreams, of course. Even he could not botch that one. No love for _Bull Durham_? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/77 "2013-07-27T15:54:13Z")
“Directed by Tim Burton” ---
**Author:** ![Sweetums](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Sweetums](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sweetums)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/78 "2013-07-27T16:16:45Z")
“Fun for the whole family.” ``` While there are indeed movies that you can enjoy along with the kids, this blurb usually translates as "any family member not bored by the teletubies would rather be waterboarded by Spongebob than watch this movie." ``` ---
**Author:** ![Bakhesh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Bakhesh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bakhesh)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/79 "2013-07-27T16:18:52Z")
Movies that have taken 5 years of development tend to suck, because generally, they are being made for the sake of it, rather than because someone has good story to tell Any movie there the poster features the heads of the main actors photoshopped together against a white background Any sequel that comes out ten years after the last installment ---
**Author:** ![Greg\_Charles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/839c29/32.png) [@Greg\_Charles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greg_Charles)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2013, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088/80 "2013-07-27T17:45:23Z")
> [@Raguleader](#): > > Incidentally, Paris Hilton was in the first few episode of Veronica Mars, and that show was great (the show also quietly stopped featuring her after her first few episodes. She really didn’t have anything to do on the show that warranted anyone of her level of celebrity.) Nitpick: one episode. I don’t think hers was ever meant to be a recurring character. As I remember, she only had two or three lines anyway. She was the focus of one of the subplots, but more as a living McGuffin than a participant. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-if-a-movie-sucks/664088.md?page=5)