# How to tell them apart (a public service) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497 "2004-08-05T19:16:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jurph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/50afbb/32.png) [@Jurph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jurph)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/21 "2004-08-06T14:14:15Z")
**Alligators** : teeth on the lower jaw fit into sockets in the upper jaw, concealing them; head is broad and flat. **Crocodiles** : some teeth on lower jaw stick up and are visible outside the mouth; narrower pointed skull. **Blue States** : traditionally reserved for the incumbent party, but ever since the 2000 election, synonymous with “Democratic” since Gore ran on the incumbent party’s ticket. **Red States** : traditionally reserved for the party in opposition, but again, since 2000, this has come to mean a “Republican” state. **shovel** : The silhouette of a shovel blade is shaped like an acorn or a stone arch. A shovel is used for digging deep holes. **spade** : The blade of a spade is a basically-square, mostly-flat piece of metal. A spade is used for working the soil. Typically a spade has a shorter handle that doesn’t come away from the blade at an angle. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/22 "2004-08-06T14:31:34Z")
> [@tracer](#): > > I think you’ve got that backwards. > > The Mets’ logo is the spittin’ image of the old New York Giants logo. (That’s the NY Giants baseball team that moved to San Francisco, **not** the NY Giants football team that’s still in New York.) Oops. That’s what I get for not double checking. BTW, the NY Mets (and Knicks) colors derive from the colors of the Dutch flag that flew over New Netherlands. **The Doctors** Doctor #1: Dark coat, white hair, long and combed backwards. Doctor #2: Dark, baggy coat, bow tie, black hair Doctor #3: Dark blue coat, ruffled shirt, gray hair Doctor #4: Gray coat (later maroon), scarf, brown hair that curls like the ram’s. Doctor #5: Cream/yellow coat with red trim, sweater, straight blond hair Doctor #6: Multicolored coat, question marks on lapels, curly hair, dirty blond Doctor #7: White coat, multicolored sweater, carries umbrella, pale yellow hat Doctor #8: Brown coat, gold vest, curly brown hair Doctor #9:[Not regenerated yet](http://www.bbc.co.uk/cult/news/drwho/2004/03/20/10073.shtml). ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/23 "2004-08-06T14:51:27Z")
Sweden: Big country in Scandinavia. Home of the Swedes. Products include IKEA and Volvos. Is a monarchy. Capital is Stockholm. Flag is a yellow cross on blue. Switzerland: Small country in the Alps. Home of the Swiss. Products include cheese, chocolate, cuckoo clocks, and herbal stuff. Is a republic. Capital is Bern. Flag is a white cross on red. ---
**Author:** ![Kilt-wearin\_man](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/82dd89/32.png) [@Kilt-wearin\_man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kilt-wearin_man)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/24 "2004-08-06T14:59:30Z")
**Dr. Spock** - Pop culture pediatrician, wrote a lot of parenting books in the '70s giving advice on raising kids. Not sure how much of it was really valuable advice - anyone here read his books? **Mr. Spock** - second-in-command of the Starship Enterprise, probably didn’t know a whole lot about raising human children. Fictional character. ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/25 "2004-08-06T15:03:58Z")
**Batman** : World’s greatest detective. Dark avenger of the night. His parents were gunned down before his eyes, and he had dedicated his life to a never-ending war on crime. Can defeat anyone if he’s prepared. **Batroc** : Has _ze_ stupid moustache and a _tres absurde_ French accent. Even with _ze_ prep time, Batroc will still taste defeat, _mon cheri_. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/26 "2004-08-06T15:10:02Z")
**Slovakia:** half of the former Czechoslovakia. In between Czech Republic and Hungary, no coastline. **Slovenia:** former Yugoslav republic. Smaller than Slovakia, further south, borders Hungary to the east, little bit of coastline right next to Italy. **England:** the largest country in the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. (Great) **Britain:** an island containing England, Scotland, and Wales. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/27 "2004-08-06T15:21:21Z")
> [@Skammer](#): > > [nedflanders] > If it’s clear and yellow, that’s juice there fellow! > If it’s cloudy and brown, you’re in cider town! > [/nedflanders] …Now, there’s some exceptions and it gets kind of complicated… ::thud:: **NY Giants** : play football (_American_ football, game played by people who like violence and sports with a defined beginning, middle and end). Despite the name, their stadium is in New Jersey. Their primary color is blue. **NY Jets** : also play (American) football in New Jersey, in the very same stadium as the Giants. Fortunately, usually not at the same time. They wear green. ---
**Author:** ![Saltire](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saltire/32/553_2.png) [@Saltire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saltire)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/28 "2004-08-06T15:45:23Z")
> [@JThunder](#): > > Vulcans: Logical > Romulans: Warriors More precisely, Vulcans: Logical, generally pacifist Romulans: Sneaky, generally paranoid And, on the Swedish and Swiss flags, one should note that the arms of Sweden’s yellow cross extend to the edges of the flag, while Switzerland’s white cross is cut off before the edges (think of the Red Cross flag, but reverse the colors). ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/29 "2004-08-06T15:56:52Z")
**Bill Paxton** or **Bill Pullman?** Umm. Never mind. Carry on. ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/30 "2004-08-06T16:15:22Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > The version I heard was: > > - stala **c** tites stick tight (tite) to the **ceiling** > - stala **g** mites stick up from the **ground** I always just remebered that “If the tights come down, it might get up.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![El\_Cheapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8e7dd6/32.png) [@El\_Cheapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Cheapo)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/31 "2004-08-06T16:29:44Z")
> [@Nonsuch](#): > > Selma parts her hair in the middle, while Patty does not. **P** atty wears **P** yramidal earrings. **S** elma wears **S** pherical earrings. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/32 "2004-08-06T16:45:18Z")
A **driveway** is something you park a car on. A **parkway** is someplace you drive a car on. (Shut _up._ Someone had to say it.) **blatant** means ‘obvious’ **flagrant** means ‘too obvious to ignore.’ The **Super-rich** are owners of immense, rarefied wealth. The **Rich** possess an excess of wealth. The **Nouveau riche** have a surfeit of millions that typically has been recently generated. The **Upper middle class** are NOT the same thing as _any_ of the above, and I wish people would stop arguing with me about it… **Excess** is an adjective that means “too much.” **Access** is a verb that means “to gain entry to.” **Exes** are the lousy people you used to be married to. **Axes** are tools used to chop wood. **Xs** signify kisses, and Os, hugs: XOXOXOXOX **Axis** is an alliance of nations, or a fixed point. **Manslaughter** is a criminal offense. **Man’s laughter** is something we should all enjoy. Oddly, they don’t rhyme, despite possessing precisely the same letters. **Bali** is a country. **Ballet** is a dance form. **Belly** is your stomach. **Bully** is an aggressor. **Billy** is an abbreviated form of “William.” **Bolly** is a meaningless British expression that modifies short phrases like, “I bolly well had better!” and “Bolly good show, it was.” **Belay** = An imperative meaning “cease”. **Belie** = To contradict. **Baloo** = A singing bear. **Below** = A lower place. **Council** is a group. **Counsel** is advice. **Consul** is a diplomat. **Console** is an instrument panel. **Khan’s soul** is the actor, Ricardo Monteblan. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/33 "2004-08-06T17:21:03Z")
A **principal** runs a school or is otherwise the chief something. **Principles** are laws or precepts. A **fusillade** is a series of shots from a firearm or firearms. A **fuselage** is the body of an airplane. (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard boxing announcers fuck this up.) > [@Askia](#): > > Excess is an adjective that means “too much.” > Access is a verb that means “to gain entry to.” > Exes are the lousy people you used to be married to. > Axes are tools used to chop wood. > Xs signify kisses, and Os, hugs: XOXOXOXOX > Axis is an alliance of nations, or a fixed point. And, of course, you can always aks somebody a question ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/34 "2004-08-06T17:25:46Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > **Console** is an instrument panel. Or a verb meaning ‘to comfort (as in someone who is grieving).’ > [@](#): > > **Khan’s soul** is the actor, Ricardo Monteblan. Jolly good show! Although it’s spelled MontalBANNN!!! ---
**Author:** ![light\_strand](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a6a055/32.png) [@light\_strand](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/light_strand)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/35 "2004-08-06T17:38:23Z")
**Mackinaw** : Is the northernmost city in the Lower Peninsula of Michigan. It lies on the south side of the bridge opposite St Ignace **Mackinac** : Is everything else. You can go to Fort Mackinac on Mackinac Island which lies in the Straights of Mackinac, and you can get to the ferry by driving over the Mackinac Bridge. ---
**Author:** ![Tusculan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecd19e/32.png) [@Tusculan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tusculan)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/36 "2004-08-06T17:39:38Z")
So how about **Jerry Lewis** and **Jerry Lee Lewis**? ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/37 "2004-08-06T17:40:28Z")
African elephants: Big ears. Asian elephants: Little ears. Did You Know: Asian elephants are more closely related to woolly mammoths than they are to African elephants! ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/38 "2004-08-06T17:42:18Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > **Council** is a group. > **Counsel** is advice. > **Consul** is a diplomat. > **Console** is an instrument panel. > **Khan’s soul** is the actor, Ricardo Monteblan. Console can also mean “make feel better” as in “I am consoled by the counsel of Khan’s soul, a consul on my council.” ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/39 "2004-08-06T17:44:27Z")
> [@Ferret Herder](#): > > The version I heard was: > > - stala **c** tites stick tight (tite) to the **ceiling** > - stala **g** mites stick up from the **ground** All I ever learned, I learned from _Scooby Doo_, Volume I Shaggy: “Stalagmites hold tight, while stalactites might (fall is implied).” ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/40 "2004-08-06T17:47:59Z")
[john cleese] A **Monsoon** is a great wind, and a **mongoose** … isn’t. [/john cleese] also… **President Lincoln** had a secretary named Kennedy and was born in a log cabin. **President Kennedy** once spilled Log Cabin syrup in his dad’s Lincoln. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497.md?page=3)