# How to tell them apart (a public service) **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [August 5, 2004, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497 "2004-08-05T19:16:48Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/41 "2004-08-06T17:50:00Z")
> [@Tusculan](#): > > So how about **Jerry Lewis** and **Jerry Lee Lewis**? **Jerry Lee Lewis** : Great Balls of Fire. **Jerry Lewis** : Man, the balls on that guy… ---
**Author:** ![Casey1505](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dc4da7/32.png) [@Casey1505](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Casey1505)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/42 "2004-08-06T17:51:33Z")
> [@Tusculan](#): > > So how about **Jerry Lewis** and **Jerry Lee Lewis**? Jerry Lewis helps the children, Jerry Lee Lewis marries them. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/43 "2004-08-06T17:51:36Z")
**Climate** is what you expect. **Weather** is what you get. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/44 "2004-08-06T18:02:48Z")
> [@Saltire](#): > > More precisely, > Vulcans: Logical, generally pacifist > Romulans: Sneaky, generally paranoid And Romulans tend to wear their hair in a widow’s peak, causing them to vagely resemble Eddie Munster. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/45 "2004-08-06T18:09:48Z")
**Marley23** and **Skammer** : The pronounciation of ‘console’ changes when you refer to the “comfort” definition. Shame on me for misspelling Montalban. Probably because I’ve been mispronouncing since I was five years old, watching _Fantasy Island_ on Saturday nights. Oddly enough, I can spell “Herve Villechaize.” Huh. **poi** is a Hawaiian dish. **pooey** is what little kids say when they spit out food. **Phooey** was an underrated master of the martial arts. A **Bactrian camel** has TWO humps. A **Dromedary camel** has ONE. People are **hanged** as a form of capital punishment. Think: “hangman.” Clothes, paintings and drapes are **hung.** Incidentally, so am I. **epitath** is what they write on your grave. **epithet** is a nickname or obscenity . **premiere** means “debut.” **premier** (No ‘e’) means “first in its class.” _ **negro** _ is Spanish for the color, _black_. **Negro** is an old term of descendants of African slaves in America. **Negress** is a female Negro. **nigger** is a volitale epithet. (see ‘epithet’, above) **nigra** obsolete genteel form of _nigger_, used by genteel whites who weren’t comfortable saying “Negro.” **nigga** considered a more genteel form of _nigger_, used by blacks who aren’t comfortable with “nigger.” Hey, I like this thread. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/46 "2004-08-06T18:25:19Z")
**San Francisco** The city by the bay in California. **Frisco** – a small city in Texas near Dallas (there are others). Oddly enough, some people do get the two mixed up. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/47 "2004-08-06T18:40:31Z")
**Bing Crosby** : White singer \*_Bill Cosby_: Black comedian, actor **Jack Nicholson** : Actor **Jack Nicklaus** Golfer ---
**Author:** ![Cockatiel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cockatiel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cockatiel)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/48 "2004-08-06T18:45:51Z")
And now a menagerie of animal diffs: Frogs- Smooth wet skin, live on land and water. Toads- Dry bumpy skin, live mainly on land. Bees- Furry, acidic venom, barbed stingers. Use toothpaste/ baking soda to relieve a sting. Hornets- Smooth, more streamlined than bees, basic venom, smooth shafted stingers. Us lemon juice on their stings. Monkeys- Have tails. Apes- Don’t. Porpoises- Short snouts, smaller than dolphins. Spade shaped teeth. Dolphins- Have beaks, larger than porpoises, Have conical teeth. Parrot- And bird in the family Psittacidae. Macaw- Any bird in one of six specific genera of Psittacidae: Ara, Anodorhynchus, Cyanopsitta, Propyrrhura, Orthopsittaca , and Diopsittaca. (Thanks for this, Wikipedia!) ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/49 "2004-08-06T18:54:49Z")
I used to get confused about this: **George Orwell** wrote _1984_. **Orson Welles** did _The War of the Worlds_ radio broadcast and directed _Citizen Kane_. **H. G. Wells** wrote _The War of the Worlds_. And a pet peeve, although I doubt any Doper is confused about this: **astronomer** : scientist who studies stars and galaxies **astronaut** : spacecraft crew member **astrologer** : fortune teller ---
**Author:** ![Idlewild](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8491ac/32.png) [@Idlewild](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Idlewild)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/50 "2004-08-06T19:33:40Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > **Bali** is a country. No, it’s not. I mean, unless there was a violent revolutionary war while I wasn’t looking. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/51 "2004-08-06T19:44:31Z")
**Cimmaron** - A member of a fictional nomadic band of barbarians **Cinnamon** - A stripper I knew at Magic City in Atlanta. Also, a reddish brown spice that tingles the tongue, which, again, describes this stripper. **Crom** - Conan’s god. **Crumb** - An influential underground cartoonist. **Krum** - Speculated half-blood prince and Hermione’s pen pal. **chrome** - shiny metal. **Manet** - 19th century French painter. Used subject matter for visual effect and dabbled in neo-impressionist style. **Monet** - 19th century French painter. Leading French impressionist; think: “Water Lilies,” younger than Manet. **money** - what is needed to purchase a Manet or Monet. **centrifugal** - the force that seperates items outward from the center from a heterogenous mix. **centripedal** - the force that keeps the water in the bucket when you swing it in a circle above your head. If you still can’t tell them apart, blame my 12th grade science teacher. Offhand, centrifugal force sounds much stronger. ---
**Author:** ![Askia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/96bed5/32.png) [@Askia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askia)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/52 "2004-08-06T19:49:14Z")
**Idlewild.** Correction: Bali is a _fictional_ country. Sorry. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/53 "2004-08-06T20:01:26Z")
**ABBA** how to tell them apart: The women were the A’s–Anni-Frid and Agnetha. Anni-Frid is the redhead who was married to Benny. Agnetha was the blond who was married to Bjorn. The men were the B’s–Benny & Bjorn. Benny had the beard and usually played the keyboards and rarely sang. Bjorn was clean shaved, played the guitar, and sometimes sang. Brothers Lloyd Webber–Andrew is the one you’ve heard about, who composed The Likes of Us, Joseph, Superstar, Jeeves, Evita, Cats, Song&Dance, Starlight Express, Requiem, Cricket, Phantom of the Opera, Aspects of Love, Sunset Boulevard, Whistle Down the Wind, The Beautiful Game and The Woman in White. Julian is the one you don’t hear about, who is the classical cellist. Both have been married THREE times. ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/54 "2004-08-06T20:33:45Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > **Crumb** - An influential underground cartoonist. And the name of Ron Dean’s detective character on “Early Edition”. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 8:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/55 "2004-08-06T20:46:04Z")
**Sam Spade** : Private detective. Created by Dashiell Hammet; appeared in only one novel/film, _The Maltese Falcon_; tough and unromantic. **Phillip Marlowe** : Private detective. Created by Raymond Chandler; appeared in numerous novels, stories and films; tough, but with a romantic, idealistic interior. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/56 "2004-08-06T20:53:35Z")
> [@Askia](#): > > Marley23 and Skammer: The pronounciation of ‘console’ changes when you refer to the “comfort” definition. Sure, but we’re typing all this out. And centrifugal force doesn’t exist, at least according to some people. > [@Nonsuch](#): > > Phillip Marlowe: Private detective. Created by Raymond Chandler; appeared in numerous novels, stories and films; tough, but with a romantic, idealistic interior. **Christopher Morley** : American author and journalist. **Me** : Also American author and journalist, but with a name that is not spelled or pronounced the same, dammit. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/57 "2004-08-06T20:59:33Z")
**Saint Lawrence River** : a river beginning at Kingston and draining the Great Lakes into the Gulf of Saint Lawrence. Natural phenomenon. **Saint Lawrence Seaway** : a series of locks and canals beginning at Montreal and running up to Iroquois, Ontario (sometimes taken to include the Welland and Soo canals as well), allowing ships to pass from the Great Lakes to the sea. Man-made constructions. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 9:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/58 "2004-08-06T21:01:25Z")
**McLachlan** : Sarah. **McLaughlin** : Audrey. **McLauchlin** : me. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/59 "2004-08-06T21:13:35Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > **Christopher Morley** : American author and journalist. > **Me** : Also American author and journalist, but with a name that is not spelled or pronounced the same, dammit. **Thomas Morley** –Medieval composer of a great many songs, most if not all of which are vastly improved by the removal of the words. To wit: \*I love, alas, I love thee I love, alas, I love thee My dainty darling, my dainty darling, I love, alas, I love thee Come kiss me, then, come kiss me, then, come kiss me, Amarylis, Amarylis, More lovely than sweet Phyllis…\* ---
**Author:** ![SolGrundy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbce88/32.png) [@SolGrundy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SolGrundy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2004, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497/60 "2004-08-06T21:16:02Z")
Stephen J. Hawking: Theoretical physicist. Speaks using a voice synthesizer. Wrote _A Brief History of Time_. Screamin’ Jay Hawkins: Voodoo blues singer. Screamed and went “bblblflgbablblblblaugghh” a lot. Wrote _I Put a Spell On You_. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-them-apart-a-public-service/258497.md?page=4)