# How to tell you are debating with an idiot. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 10, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745 "2002-12-10T10:23:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/1 "2002-12-10T10:23:06Z")
Arguing with an idiot is dangerous to yourself and those you love. Any chance of penetrating, enlightening debate, or even simple meaningful communication is impossible. Such idiots are incapable of accepting any ideas beyond those already implanted in their heads by force or accident. Trying to engage in dialogue with these people will only lead to agitation of both parties and possible fisticuffs. If you believe that you may be arguing with an idiot follow these simple guidelines to be sure. 1. They refer to someone and their “cronies”. Unless this is 1940’s New York, and you are on the trail of Big Boy and his gang, you are an idiot if you use this word. 2. They refer to something they don’t like as “big” or believe that anything “big” is bad. I swear to you that the other day I heard a man on NPR seriously talk about the fight against “big-potato”. Unless this is Japan, and that is a radioactive potato, anyone who derogatorily calls something “big” is an idiot. 3. Hey Opal, wus up wit ya funky bad-ass self? 4. They begin an argument by noting an “irony”. “You know, I just find it ironic how Bob Smith said this, then did this”. You did not find it ironic, you found it hypocritical, and you are not someone making a witty insightful comment, you are a snide pompous idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/2 "2002-12-10T10:58:52Z")
Another way to tell is when someone whines “It just isn’t \*fair!” \* I learned in one of the first Heinlein juveniles I ever read(Tunnel in the Sky )that anyone who expects life to be fair isn’t ready for it. ---
**Author:** ![Hattrick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/34f0e0/32.png) [@Hattrick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hattrick)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/3 "2002-12-10T12:02:52Z")
or how about anyone who tries to argue Policy Fact with non related emotional/moral issue. the one I’ve heard is, Britain is increasing the defence budget… retort: but if they do that innocent children in (insert 3rd world country here) will die… reason: because Britian could better spend 2 million pound in food aid. /me bangs head on nearest icepick repeatedly ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/4 "2002-12-10T12:06:52Z")
Watch for these key comments and know what they really imply: * * * **I must not be explaining myself well.** If you just _understood_ my argument, you would concede my point. **Cite?** I really have no counter-argument, so I’ll just haul out this rope-a-dope. **You’re an idiot!** I’m an idiot. **Are you even _reading_ my posts?** Please don’t make me actually explain what I mean. **Is English your second language?** I am a poor writer. **"Commensurate" is speled with two m’s.** No one is above Gaudere’s Law. **Your source is biased.** I can’t find a good source myself, so I’ll trash yours. **So, you’re saying that…** Since I can’t argue against what you said, I’ll make something up and argue against _that_. **I can’t prove a negative.** Except for that one. **I’m going to need a lot more proof than that.** What you’re saying won’t be true until I say it myself. **You’ve taken what I said out of context.** Since that didn’t work, let me try this. **That’s just your opinion.** But what I’m saying is a fact. **I’m just fed up with debating you.** You win. ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/5 "2002-12-10T14:14:56Z")
Someone who cites to personal web pages as support. Someone who says “you liberals all say that” substitute “conservatives” as appropriate. Excessive personal attacks. You think the post is a parody at first. You are debating with \_\_\_\_\_\_ oops- we are not in the Pit, so fill in the blank yourself. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/6 "2002-12-10T17:05:09Z")
Considering that the first rule of determining how smart someone is how much they agree with you. You can pretty much call them an idiot as soon as the mouth opens. QED ---
**Author:** ![CRorex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/dfb087/32.png) [@CRorex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CRorex)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/7 "2002-12-10T17:07:07Z")
I had a quote book that said something along the lines of: The smarter a person is, the more they agree with you (Aka great minds think alike). ---
**Author:** ![welby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d78d45/32.png) [@welby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/welby)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/8 "2002-12-10T17:14:11Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muad’Dib \* > \*\*Arguing with an idiot is dangerous to yourself and those you love. Any chance of penetrating, enlightening debate, or even simple meaningful communication is impossible. Such idiots are incapable of accepting any ideas beyond those already implanted in their heads by force or accident. Trying to engage in dialogue with these people will only lead to agitation of both parties and possible fisticuffs. If you believe that you may be arguing with an idiot follow these simple guidelines to be sure. > > 1. They refer to someone and their “cronies”. Unless this is 1940’s New York, and you are on the trail of Big Boy and his gang, you are an idiot if you use this word. > > 2. They refer to something they don’t like as “big” or believe that anything “big” is bad. I swear to you that the other day I heard a man on NPR seriously talk about the fight against “big-potato”. Unless this is Japan, and that is a radioactive potato, anyone who derogatorily calls something “big” is an idiot. > > 3. Hey Opal, wus up wit ya funky bad-ass self? > > 4. They begin an argument by noting an “irony”. “You know, I just find it ironic how Bob Smith said this, then did this”. You did not find it ironic, you found it hypocritical, and you are not someone making a witty insightful comment, you are a snide pompous idiot. \*\* You know, I find it ironic that **Muad’Dib** would rail against idiocy when the cronies of Big Potato are out there causing so much anguish. Hi Opal! ---
**Author:** ![Dumbguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dumbguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dumbguy)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/9 "2002-12-10T19:07:16Z")
What month is it? ---
**Author:** ![Mtgman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5a626/32.png) [@Mtgman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mtgman)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/10 "2002-12-10T19:29:53Z")
December? ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/11 "2002-12-10T20:31:21Z")
If they make comparisons of their opponents to the truly evil. ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/12 "2002-12-10T20:44:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*Mtgman: \*\*December? Ha-ha. Good un MTG. ---
**Author:** ![Stccrd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8797f3/32.png) [@Stccrd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stccrd)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/13 "2002-12-10T22:23:37Z")
If they have a DNC sticker on their car. ---
**Author:** ![Podkayne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Podkayne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Podkayne)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/14 "2002-12-10T23:19:47Z")
“Phallusy? What are you talking about? What do penises have to do with it?” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/15 "2002-12-10T23:48:36Z")
“How can I be trolling when I don’t even know what it means?” “I’ve heard about this message board and I didn’t expect you to accept the truth I’ve told you” ---
**Author:** ![Eutychus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Eutychus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eutychus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/16 "2002-12-11T00:09:55Z")
One word : turdburglar. ---
**Author:** ![Quintas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/48db29/32.png) [@Quintas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quintas)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/17 "2002-12-11T00:26:58Z")
People who still think it’s clever to have Hi Opal in a list. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/18 "2002-12-11T00:32:44Z")
If your debate is on the internet, the odds are pretty good. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/19 "2002-12-11T00:35:43Z")
A person who uses The Onion as a reference. ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745/20 "2002-12-11T00:36:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Quintas \* > \*\*People who still think it’s clever to have Hi Opal in a list. \*\* This is why I asked about her funky bad-ass self. 😃 [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-tell-you-are-debating-with-an-idiot/141745.md?page=2)