Me? Nothing. I’m the one gasping and sneezing and choking in the corner.
The one everyone is complaining about because they think I am spreading my cold germs.
Might I suggest your local homeless shelter or domestic violence shelter? If they have laundry facilities, they might have enough pleasant-smelling detergent on hand to dilute the scent so it becomes non-offensive while also having enough customers to always need more detergent.
I have severe chemical sensitivities myself and perfume makes me sick. In fact, I have been excused from jury duty because of this with a note from my doctor. I never saw wth relatives at their homes when traveling because everything is scented and I become ill. It is a horrible way to live and it isn’t by choice.
I fully understand that you might not be aware and feel not at fault, but when someone with chemical sensitivities like this gets a whiff of perfume it would be the equivalent of someone shouting right into your ear as loud as they possibly can, but you are the only way it sounds that way too. That’s about the best I can describe it. I get immediately sick, a horrible headache which can last for many hours, have trouble breathing with wheezing, etc.
My wife has learned not to wear any scented products, because I can’t handle it. The thing is, these perfumes and scented consumer products people use are totally optional and I know of some places where they have a “fragrance free” work place because of this. I know of a dentist who insists of this in his office.
Echoing others, I have terrible chemical sensitivity to many perfumes too, following an industrial chemical exposure now over 25 years ago. It is a horrible way to live. Imagine somebody accidentally spilling their ammonia or Clorox on your shirt. Being stuck next to somebody wearing perfume on a plane once made me sick for six months, and I can’t remember how many times I’ve had to make an emergency exit, or towel myself off in the parking lot with rubbing alcohol. I’ve spent months every year on steroids and I believe this will significantly shorten my life. It’s hurt my family and my career substantially. I see two pulmonologists, I have workplace accommodations, I’ve even been a Worker Compensation case.
It is so frustrating that perfumes creep into so many products. We buy unscented products for home, but the outside world is uncontrollable. I can’t use soap in restrooms. I wear gloves at gas stations because pump handles are usually perfumed, and likewise push shopping carts with my sleeves over my hands. People seem to be constantly spreading poisons all over the place, and clueless about it.
I tend to broach the subject timidly and kindly. “Hey, I’m really sorry, I would love to ride with you but I think the air freshener in your car is hurting me.” “I like working with you and I’m glad we have a project to do together, but I have a favor to ask, and I don’t mean it to be personal against you – there’s something on you that’s making me choke, maybe from your laundry detergent, do you think there’s anything we could do about that?”
But it’s pretty frustrating. Often I feel angry that this so dictates and limits my life. I don’t get how people can be so oblivious to the harm they’re doing, even after I’ve heard about it for other sufferers too. I know it’s an issue out there, and yet people keep spreading the poison. After several hard blows it can be hard to be gracious about it.
Just to top things off, I know the sense of smell is extremely variable from a genetic point of view, and many people can easily smell things that others can’t detect. One of us may think perfume reeks while another doesn’t notice it. I’d expect it to be hard to reach consensus on what is moderate use of perfume.
People vary considerably in whether or not they like the smell of anise, no?
Y’all are missing the point. Chemical sensitivities, yes. People who wear too much perfume, yes. Especially difficult if you’re around food, yes.
Telling someone to his/her face, in these words, “Your perfume is making me sick,” and then going on and on about it after you’ve rudely said it once, NO.
I thought that’s pretty much the gist of responses to the OP?
“Oh yeah? The jerk store called, and they’re all outta YOU!”
You know, I haven’t seen Ally McBeal in 12 years, but I can perfectly picture Callista Flockhart doing that. 
The correct response to this is always, “It’s not me, bitch,”
That was my first thought as well, but I refrained from posting it because the bottle had been opened, so I’m glad you agreed with my non-post. Depending on the facility, they might not care that it was opened already.
Actually, shit, now that I think about it, the bottles aren’t even sealed when you buy them in the first place, so it really shouldn’t be an issue. Plus, you get to do something for the less fortunate AND reclaim a few square inches of shelf space.
I don’t have anything close to the sensitivities you describe, but I would so totally go to that dentist!
Go to the next meeting and pour a bottle of cheap, strong perfume all over here.
The way you responded is bad. Logical, but bad. Why apologize for something you didn’t do? The minute you apologize to an inconsiderate boor like this woman, you are basically admitting to her that you’re guilty or at least enough of a pushover that she’s going to get her way. Not only that, but the first word out of your mouth is “I’m sorry”.
The woman was rude for accusing you and being so persistent, and the best way to deal with it in my opinion is to tell them to Check Their Tone. Like this:
Bitch: (glaring) I can’t stand your perfume, it’s too strong, it’s making me sick.
You: I don’t appreciate the way you are accusing me. If you have a problem, move away.
This exchange prevents the woman from trying to claim this issue is your fault. She is trying to make it your problem (perfume is bothering her, please move Ms Pushover, So Help Me I Will Cause a Scene if you don’t capitulate). Throw the accusation right back at her. I know this is hard, but with practice it gets easy over time. People like this get their way because they can bully innocent people into convincing themselves they’ve somehow done something wrong. If everyone called them on their shit, they’d either STFU or ask nicer.
Stay away from that rude person.
Absolutely the right response.
I dislike most scents, especially the artificial ones of laundry products and supposedly non-perfumed body lotions. I don’t mind perfume unless it’s one of those that smells like Tide. So I can sympathize with the basic issue, but the woman was a complete ass.
No one seems to have asked this question: was it possibly about something OTHER than perfume/scent? Did she not want to move down or not want the OP sitting next to her for other reasons? Really, her reaction is borderline psycho and would be out of place in a bus station, never mind at a nominally professional gathering.
As I said before, this may have nothing to do with scents or chemical sensitivity. Anise did say that someone else sat by her who was drenched in perfume and that Other Person didn’t say anything about it. It’s possible that Other Person has something against Anise and is dealing with it by being passive-aggressive.
Not even remotely funny. If you have ever seen someone with severe allergies have a reaction in ER, you wouldn’t joke about such things.
For someone who is chemically sensitive it can be very hard to pin-point where it is coming from because in that state it seems like it is coming from everywhere.
There really is no point in denying if you are the cause of the perfume or whatever else you might have come in contact with a person who says they are being made sick. Simply say, “Sorry you are having a problem. I/We will move if you prefer not to move”.
I’ve been to restaurants where someone in the next booth had on perfume that was making me sick, so I immediately told the waiter and they moved us to another table. It was easier for us to move than their larger party of people who were already there.
The thing to remember is, just because you can’t detect it and swear you didn’t put anything on doesn’t mean you aren’t the cause of it. I worked in a new job where one of the guys on our team would take a break and I couldn’t find him. When he returned he was talking to me and I said to him, “Oh, I didn’t know you smokes”. Cause I never saw him carry cigarettes or mention it. He got totally embarrassed and told me he was smoking in secret and didn’t want people to know. I said, sorry, I wasn’t aware it was a secret because to me having chemical sensitivities it was as clear to me as if he had gotten his head shaved and returned to work, but I was the only one that noticed.
Other times, people who don’t smoke at all have been in the company of others that smoke and didn’t realize the odor traveled with them.
Believe me, no one wants to have a chemical sensitivity that makes them sick.