# How to woo an American?

**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [March 28, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210 "2006-03-28T05:20:15Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1

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### Author: ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/1 "2006-03-28T05:20:15Z")

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So, lets say, hypothetically, that a mild mannered Canadian girl had the hots for an American fella.

What steps would she take to woo him?

Bake apple pie?  
Discuss base ball?  
Admire his gun?\*

Please all suggestions welcome.

- 😃

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### Author: ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/2 "2006-03-28T05:23:17Z")

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Put out. 😃

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### Author: ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/3 "2006-03-28T05:24:27Z")

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> [@PeterWiggen](#):
>
> Put out. 😃

heh - well that’s sort of a given.

A girl’s got needs ya know…

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### Author: ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 5:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/4 "2006-03-28T05:24:27Z")

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I’ve noticed that many BC women have a particular facial structure that I find attractive. To woo me, a Canadian woman would just have to pay attention to me.

Of course, the same is true for a woman of _any_ nationality. 😃

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### Author: ![Doctor\_Who](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Doctor\_Who](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doctor_Who)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/5 "2006-03-28T05:38:44Z")

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> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#):
>
> heh - well that’s sort of a given.
> 
> A girl’s got needs ya know…

Well, now that’s that out of the way…

I think that our hypothetical Canadian girl should emphasize her Canadian-ness in order to seem like a strange, exotic mystery woman! To that end, I would recommend the following 5 steps:

(1) She should sprinkle her speech liberally with “eh?”'s. Very important, so as to seem like a mysterious artic creature from the north. The guy figures - she’s speaking another language, but I can understand it. The guy feels smart and flattered. If the girl can speak Quebecois, she should keep it to herself. Nobody likes the French, even when they’re from Canada.

(2) Bring the boy Canadian beer with the higher alcohol content. This will show thoughtfulness. Hopefully the higher alcohol content will not make the boy forget said thoughfulness. At any rate, alcohol is _crucial_ to wooing.

(3) Then, re: step 2, insist that American beer tastes better. Especially Budweiser. This will attract his rampant nationalistic overpatriotic ego. The boy will feel sorry for the Canadian girl for her misfortune to be born in the cold, cold north. His pity will turn to love (it always does, eh?).

(4) The girl should cover herself in maple syrup.

(5) Then, re: step 4, insist that Canadian maple syrup tastes better. Offer to let the guy find out for himself.

And hell if all that fails, just be yourself, have a sense of humor, and take the dude snowboarding in Canada. Er, I mean… she should be herself, have a sense of humor and take the dude snowboarding in Canada.

(Oh, and finally - no hockey talk. March Madness is still going on, and a true American male response to hockey-talk during basketball season is akin to the response of the male orangutan when a Nazi steals his pet kitten).

- Peter Wiggen

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### Author: ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/6 "2006-03-28T05:39:48Z")

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What part of the U.S.? Admire that part of it.  
Stroke his ego.  
Ask him to open jars, move furniture. Within limits, we like it.  
Laugh at his jokes.

We’re probably not that different from men around the world…

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### Author: ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/7 "2006-03-28T06:20:35Z")

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So, act Canadian, cover oneself in maple syrup, avoid hockey talk, and ask him to do manly things.

check

Now, assuming this Canadian girl was trying to convince the American fella to move north - which items should she emphasize?

Fabulous rack, of course.  
Health care?  
Moose?

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### Author: ![Cunctator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/43a26b/32.png) [@Cunctator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cunctator)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/8 "2006-03-28T06:25:15Z")

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> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#):
>
> Now, assuming this Canadian girl was trying to convince the American fella to move north - which items should she emphasize?

Lacrosse?

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### Author: ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 6:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/9 "2006-03-28T06:27:32Z")

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> [@Cunctator](#):
>
> Lacrosse?

Really? Is that popular in the US?

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### Author: ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/10 "2006-03-28T06:42:59Z")

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How does a female “woo” a man?

I don’t think I understand the question.

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### Author: ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 6:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/11 "2006-03-28T06:47:58Z")

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Offer us a toke, a took, and some free healthcare.

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### Author: ![Tuckerfan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/eada6e/32.png) [@Tuckerfan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tuckerfan)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 6:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/12 "2006-03-28T06:59:29Z")

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If a guy sees your pic, and _isn’t_ interested, he’s either gay or dead. Ya look an awful lot like Audrey Hepburn, sexy neck and all, and unless you sound like Barry White with a Canadian accent thicker than Bob and Doug McKenzie you’re a shoe-in.

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### Author: ![GingerOfTheNorth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/cdc98d/32.png) [@GingerOfTheNorth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GingerOfTheNorth)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/13 "2006-03-28T07:17:06Z")

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Be an Albertan redhead with a nice rack.

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### Author: ![DanBlather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f4b2a3/32.png) [@DanBlather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DanBlather)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 8:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/14 "2006-03-28T08:22:50Z")

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Tell him that 4 inches is 10 centimeters in Canada.

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### Author: ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/15 "2006-03-28T08:32:55Z")

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Why would you _want_ to?  
I kid. Canadian married to an American, here. 😃

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### Author: ![BraheSilver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecccb3/32.png) [@BraheSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BraheSilver)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 8:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/16 "2006-03-28T08:48:54Z")

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You say “Brahe, I want to make mad passionate love to you.” If he says “What?” or “Who?” or “My name isn’t Brahe,” then it obviously wasn’t meant to be. Move on to the next fella and repeat.  
Gotta try, right?

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### Author: ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/17 "2006-03-28T09:28:35Z")

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Show up naked and bring Canadian beer!

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### Author: ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 10:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/18 "2006-03-28T10:10:22Z")

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“My sister is Celine Dion and she will only give me my multi-million dowry when I get married.”

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### Author: ![Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b3f665/32.png) [@Sophistry\_and\_Illusion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sophistry_and_Illusion)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/19 "2006-03-28T12:24:11Z")

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> [@Rigamarole](#):
>
> How does a female “woo” a man?

In my experience, by respirating.

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### Author: ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)
#### Post date: [March 28, 2006, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/20 "2006-03-28T12:25:41Z")

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You had me at Moose.

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