# How to woo an American? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 28, 2006, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210 "2006-03-28T05:20:15Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![twickster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ec9cab/32.png) [@twickster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/twickster)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/21 "2006-03-28T12:26:35Z")
> [@DanBlather](#): > > Tell him that 4 inches is 10 centimeters in Canada. No further answers necessary. Mods, close the thread. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/22 "2006-03-28T12:54:27Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > So, act Canadian, cover oneself in maple syrup, **avoid hockey talk** , and ask him to do manly things. > > **check** See, you contradict yourself right off the bat. Personlly, Iā€™d emphasize your bunnies. Thatā€™s always been my favourite part of you. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 3:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/23 "2006-03-28T15:13:47Z")
> [@GingerOfTheNorth](#): > > Be an Albertan redhead with a nice rack. Yes! I am _SOOOO_ in! Uh, I mean, sheā€™s in. Right. heh Now, Iā€™ll just see if I can get Benny the bunny to pose in this hockey jersey for picsā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/24 "2006-03-28T15:42:08Z")
Now, wait, you want the American to come to Canada, not the hypothetical Canadian girl to go to the U.S. **Gingerā€™s** advice only seems to work the other way. ---
**Author:** ![Dorjan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dorjan/32/12440_2.png) [@Dorjan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dorjan)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/25 "2006-03-28T16:11:06Z")
All a hot Canadian woman needs to do is be a hot Canadian woman. mmm mmm. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/26 "2006-03-28T16:14:07Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > Now, wait, you want the American to come to Canada, not the hypothetical Canadian girl to go to the U.S. **Gingerā€™s** advice only seems to work the other way. Humm - good point. Ok, Iā€™m going to have to redouble my efforts, because having a great rack, and being a redhead who puts out only works in reverse. Sooo - what if I cover the rack with maple syrup, pour Canadian beer over my head and hold a hockey stick in my teeth? Maybe? Maybe? ---
**Author:** ![saoirse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@saoirse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saoirse)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/27 "2006-03-28T16:30:38Z")
No no, just cover the rack with maple syrup, hold out an open beer, then start backing away towards the North. As he follows the Syrup covered rack and beer, he doesnā€™t how close heā€™s getting to the border. To get him over, just whisper in his ear: ā€œCanada. Itā€™s bilingual.ā€ No prob. ---
**Author:** ![Kythereia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e8c25b/32.png) [@Kythereia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kythereia)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/28 "2006-03-28T17:51:14Z")
All Canadian women are naturally hot. Itā€™s just our thing. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/29 "2006-03-28T18:09:07Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Sooo - what if I cover the rack with maple syrup, pour Canadian beer over my head and hold a hockey stick in my teeth? > > Maybe? Maybe? Curling broom in one hand, stone in the other. When he gets close enough smack him upside the head with the stone. By the time he comes to heā€™s back in Canada. We have a horrendous sense of direction and no idea about geography so heā€™ll be naturalised and living for Hockey Night before he figures out which way to the exits. ---
**Author:** ![DooWahDiddy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e9bcb4/32.png) [@DooWahDiddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DooWahDiddy)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/30 "2006-03-28T18:48:39Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > All Canadian women are naturally hot. Itā€™s just our thing. šŸ˜‰ You say it with a smilie, but that is seriously one damn fine-looking country youā€™ve got there. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/31 "2006-03-28T20:32:52Z")
> [@ShibbOleth](#): > > Curling broom in one hand, stone in the other. When he gets close enough smack him upside the head with the stone. :eek: Have you ever actually lifted a curling stone? Cus, you know, when I get him here, itā€™s better if heā€™s not irreparably brain damaged! šŸ˜ƒ Maybe I could just poke him with the broomā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/32 "2006-03-28T22:08:02Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > \Sooo - what if I cover the rack with maple syrup, pour Canadian beer over my head and hold a hockey stick in my teeth? > > Maybe? Maybe? Well, itā€™s worth a try. šŸ˜ƒ You know, it occurs to me that youā€™re perpetuating a stereotype here - the wooed American. ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [March 28, 2006, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/33 "2006-03-28T22:11:22Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > You know, it occurs to me that youā€™re perpetuating a stereotype here - the wooed American. Hereā€™s hoping. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/34 "2006-03-29T00:03:45Z")
All-American boy checking inā€¦ Weā€™re mostly pretty simple blokesā€¦ Good food, better beer, lots nā€™ lots of torrid sex, and, the better amongst us enjoys stimluating conversation from time to time. Now, Iā€™m not sure about _your_ particular American, but Iā€™d be willing to bet that if you covered your rack in maple syrup that heā€™d be wrapped around your sticky fingers in no timeā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/35 "2006-03-29T01:58:46Z")
> [@Kythereia](#): > > All Canadian women are naturally hot. Itā€™s just our thing. šŸ˜‰ Springā€™s coming. Yay! šŸ™‚ šŸ™‚ :: fans self :: ---
**Author:** ![Tripler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripler/32/21807_2.png) [@Tripler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tripler)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/36 "2006-03-29T02:07:42Z")
> [@DooWahDiddy](#): > > You say it with a smilie, but that is seriously one damn fine-looking country youā€™ve got there. Iā€™ll second that with a whistle! Tripler - A _quite impressed_ visitor of Winnipeg and Regina. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/37 "2006-03-29T02:24:55Z")
Iā€™d have my American man come tell you what I did right, but he adamantly refuses to join the boards. As far as I can tellā€¦ I have boobs, and I laugh at Monty Python jokes. That seemed to be enough to win him. To _keep_ him interestedā€¦ sex and cookies. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/38 "2006-03-29T03:12:47Z")
> [@alice\_in\_wonderland](#): > > Please all suggestions welcome. Say: ā€œSo, ya wanna?ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e480ec/32.png) [@Least\_Original\_User\_Name\_Ever](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Least_Original_User_Name_Ever)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/39 "2006-03-29T03:15:57Z")
Hereā€™s my adviceā€¦ 1. Work on getting rid of your gag reflex. 2. Use the sports banter (I second the March Madness talk) 3. If heā€™s the pro-alcohol type, I also echo the Canadian beer. 4. Bring up cute little penguins, and how, on any given day, you can see a moose gore one or a polar bear shred one with his big paws. (ā€œJust over the border! I swear! Go!ā€) 5. If heā€™s a Democrat, mention that George Bush isnā€™t president. ---
**Author:** ![Antigen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/848f3c/32.png) [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)\ **Post date:** [March 29, 2006, 3:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210/40 "2006-03-29T03:23:08Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Say: ā€œSo, ya wanna?ā€ Iā€™d go with ā€œWe should do it, eh.ā€ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-to-woo-an-american/350210.md?page=3)