When I left home for college in 1978, I quit getting haircuts for nearly five years, brushing my bushy hair back into a ponytail that eventually reached the small of my back. So I never learned how a grown-up person asks for haircuts. (Similarly, my father never taught me how to shave, so I eventually settled into old-fashioned safety razors, a brush, and a disc of shaving soap at the bottom of an old Burma-Shave mug.)
Sometime in my mid-30s, I decided to switch to an old-school barbershop in my Brooklyn neighborhood, with three old Italian guys working, ancient leather and steel chairs, marble counters, Sinatra on the stereo, the whole shebang. I said “I want you to cut my hair short on the back and sides, and leave it full on the top, so I can brush it back. No part. What do you call that haircut?”
Barber looked at me funny and said, “That would be the way most guys get their hair cut since the BEGINNING OF THE 20TH CENTURY.”
The closest I come to making a scene is seeing them go for any of the Goopy Stuff and saying “no!”, then reminding them that I specified No Goop (no cream, hairspray, grease, wax, or anything like that - if my hair can’t hold the shape you want by itself, you want the wrong shape). So far it’s worked every time, I haven’t needed to jump out of the chair.
If all that’s happened is that I don’t particularly fancy the cut itself, I just don’t go back to that place. Given how often I move I’m a one-time customer for most of my hairdressers anyway, so not a terribly big loss for them either.
I’ve had a ponytail to my waist and a shaved dome along with a lot in between. I currently drive over an hour to a barber I trust. He asks how I want my hair cut and I chuckle and shake my head. Every time.
I took a picture of George Clooney with me a few years ago. It was George against a black background. You could tell who it was, but his hair blended with the background. I asked my barber to “make me look like this”. When he squinted at the pic and mentioned he couldn’t see his hair, I told him, “fuck the hair, make me look like this”.
I’m kind of picky about my hair. A bad hair day will drive me crazy. The woman that cuts my hair now does a pretty good job. I’ve been going to her for a couple of years and have had the same hairstyle all along. We run into one another every once in awhile so she knows what my hairstyle looks like and she sees it when I come in for my cut. But after she cuts it, she thinks she’s doing me a great favor by drying it and using a curling iron on it. When she’s done it looks NOTHING like my hairstyle that she has seen numerous times. There are bumps and flips and puffiness. One day I left the salon looking like Leather Tuscadero on a bad day! Finally one day I came to my senses - when I saw her going for the curling iron I said, “that’s ok, you don’t need to do that. I’m just going home”. But I have to tell her EVERY time.
My usual stylist was out (permanently, I think she’s sick and possibly dead now), so I let another guy do my hair. I said do my sides and back down to a 3. He started scissor cutting my sides and back. I said, it’s okay, you can use clippers. He said, “no, no, this will look good”. I didn’t protest further.
It didn’t look terrible, but I never went back to that salon again.
I haven’t had a regular stylist in close to 30 years. I haven’t had a consistent haircut since then, either, but I really don’t care. Sometimes my mom will cut it, other times, I stop in no-appointment-needed places if there isn’t a line. I give the stylist a general idea of what I want and it’s usually close.
As long as it’s out of my eyes and layered all around, I’m good. I don’t use product or hair appliances. Shampoo, towel dry, comb it and scrunch it a bit, and that’s it. Sometimes, I think about splurging and going to someone who can come up with a style that flatters my face and makes my thin, straight hair look thick and full of body. But it’s just hair and I can’t make myself take the splurge. It’s just not a biggie in my life.
There are no old fashioned barber shops near me anymore, so I use a local $12 haircut place. Whichever stylist I get that day always asks “What products do you use?”, to which I always reply “I use both soap AND water!”.
I’ve done far worse things to my own hair than anyone else ever has. By the time I actually go to a professional, I’m all, “Just make it different!” or “Get it offa me!” So I’d be hard to upset, and if I was upset I’d never say anything anyway.
I just cut it myself more often than not. It’s long, with long bangs…Youtube’ll show you how.
I’ve used the same stylist for about 5 years. About a year ago, he left the salon that I’d been going to and opened his own salon. Before I knew about this, my previous salon called me and told me that my stylist had left and I could come in for a free cut with another stylist. He was ok, but there wasn’t any connection. So, I was ecstatic when my previous stylist contacted me via Facebook and told me about his new business. I’ve been going to him ever since. The $40 price point is where you expect things to be fairly close to perfect, so I expect to stay with my current stylist as long as he’s still in the industry and I still live in Chicago.
I don’t understand tipping hairstylists. Unlike waiters and busboys, they are paid a consistent and living wage. And I’ll be damned if I tip someone who failed to be competent at what they’re getting paid to do.
The only time I had an issue was when I was getting highlights and the stylist put the foil packets on then wandered off and left them for what I felt was quite a bit too much time–she came back before I had to hunt her down and I thought all was well until the next day after my shower when a shitload of hair in the back near the crown of my head broke off really short. Yeah, I was pretty pissed but it was done and I never went back and started coloring my hair myself. Funny thing, in over twenty years I did my own I never once managed to fuck it up to the point where it broke off–to do THAT required a professinal and a lot more money.
Now I no longer color it, it’s grown out a very nice silver and I like it that way. I take it once a year to the nice Vietnamese ladies down the road who trim off whatever I ask them to–and this next time the last two inches of the colored ends are coming off, yay–without a fuss or a hassle. Costs me twenty bucks including tip, that’s a stone deal. Basically, so long as I can put it in a pony tail and braid it to go to sleep I’m good.
I’m a dude and my hairstyle is simple enough that the only way they mess it up is making it a little too short or a little too long. If it’s a little too long I’ll mention it and they’ll shorten it. If it’s a little too short I frown, pay a tip anyway, and wait a week or two.
It’s less about whether they deserve a tip and more about whether they think they deserve a tip. (Or rather, whether you think they think they deserve a tip.) It also matters a lot whether you expect to ever go back.
The last thing you want is to be under the shears of a person who has a grudge against you. (The same principle is behind why even non-altruists tip their waiters).
I usually just live with it. It’s hair and it will grow. The one time I was really upset was the first time I ventured into the world of colors. Not a few highlights, or different “natural” shade, but opal color, something like this. We talked about it several times in advance. I showed her pictures. I got something like this (the image on the right); a solid dark purple. I was not happy.
I believe many are independent contractors, not employees, and depend on tips.
I had hair down to my belt in college, and had it chopped off after graduation. Since then I’ve always told hair stylists that I have my hair cut like my lawn - shorten it when it gets too long.
My barber does really well on the front, but isn’t particularly good on the back. He sometimes makes funny holes on the hairline. Most of the time he gets it right, though.
You can’t really blame him – he wasn’t ever trained in cutting hair, doesn’t have a license, and I’m his only client.
