# How was your somewhat expensive wedding?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [November 7, 2003, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817 "2003-11-07T02:32:51Z")
**Posts on this page:** 12
**Page:** 2
### Author:  [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2003, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/21 "2003-11-07T20:18:46Z")
Well, my wedding was more expensive than a cheap wedding (as far as I’m concerned), but maybe not quite semi-formal. We were married in Des Moines, Iowa on 4/27/03.
Guest attire ranged from dressy-casual to semi-formal.
We were married in a restaurant, a semi-pricey bistro in an older neighborhood. We had a sit-down lunch for about 45 people (two soup selections, bread, salad and chicken) and the bar was open for non-alcoholic drinks. Venue, food and beverage, staff and service was about $1500.
Non-denominational, we were married by a JP. $30 for marriage license, $100 for JP fee.
Aaron’s clothes cost approximately $100 for new shirt, shoes, trousers and tie. My dress was a white summery nightgown that I found for $17 at Target. I spent $18 on the slip to go underneath it and $20 on new shoes. Also spent an additional $25 to buy shoes and a bracelet as a gift to my maid of honor (we each only had one attendant) and about $40 on clothes and shoes for my kids. Total cost for wardrobe: $220
My friend Robin who-is-not-a-professional-cake-decorator-but-should-be gave us a gorgeous three layer wedding cake as our wedding gift.
I made the invitations myself and spent about $45 on the paper, ribbon, special decorative stamp and ink, and mailing costs.
The restaurant allowed us to use their stereo system and we chose a few CDs from their collection. The only music we brought in was a recording of Etta James’ _At Last_ which was played as a processional.
Total cost was about $1900.
It was a great wedding. Food was excellent, venue was perfect for us, our families got along very well, AND, I’m proud to report that there were no injuries or fatalities among the 12 children (ages from 1 - 13).
The only thing I do regret is that I did not hire a photographer. I’d assumed that with all the cameras and videocameras going, there would be enough good shots to piece together a decent wedding album. I was SO wrong. Lots of great candids and many, many of the requisite bride-and-groom-with-whomever, but not a single one of just the two of us. If I would have hired a photographer, I would have totalled out at a little closer to $3000.
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### Author:  [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/22 "2003-11-07T20:26:14Z")
Gundy, we had our reception at the Newberry Library, a non-circulating library in the area of Oak and Michigan. The room was about 2 grand, but we could bring in our own booze (Sam’s delivers, and will take back any unused, unchilled bottles for a refund, less 10%) Our wedding was pretty big, about 200 people, so we more than made up for the cost of the room. Also, one of the special events coordinators there (both named Karen) played a very good harp during the coctail hour.
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### Author:  [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2003, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/23 "2003-11-07T20:28:03Z")
Well, my wedding was more expensive than a cheap wedding (as far as I’m concerned), but maybe not quite semi-formal. We were married in Des Moines, Iowa on 4/27/03.
Guest attire ranged from dressy-casual to semi-formal.
We were married in a restaurant, a semi-pricey bistro in an older neighborhood. We had a sit-down lunch for about 45 people (two soup selections, bread, salad and chicken) and the bar was open for non-alcoholic drinks. Venue, food and beverage, staff and service was about $1500.
Non-denominational, we were married by a JP. $30 for marriage license, $100 for JP fee.
Aaron’s clothes cost approximately $100 for new shirt, shoes, trousers and tie. My dress was a white summery nightgown that I found for $17 at Target. I spent $18 on the slip to go underneath it and $20 on new shoes. Also spent an additional $25 to buy shoes and a bracelet as a gift to my maid of honor (we each only had one attendant) and about $40 on clothes and shoes for my kids. Total cost for wardrobe: $220
My friend Robin who-is-not-a-professional-cake-decorator-but-should-be gave us a gorgeous three layer wedding cake as our wedding gift.
I made the invitations myself and spent about $45 on the paper, ribbon, special decorative stamp and ink, and mailing costs.
The restaurant allowed us to use their stereo system and we chose a few CDs from their collection. The only music we brought in was a recording of Etta James’ _At Last_ which was played as a processional.
Total cost was about $1900.
It was a great wedding. Food was excellent, venue was perfect for us, our families got along very well, AND, I’m proud to report that there were no injuries or fatalities among the 12 children (ages from 1 - 13).
The only thing I do regret is that I did not hire a photographer. I’d assumed that with all the cameras and videocameras going, there would be enough good shots to piece together a decent wedding album. I was SO wrong. Lots of great candids and many, many of the requisite bride-and-groom-with-whomever, but not a single one of just the two of us. If I would have hired a photographer, I would have totalled out at a little closer to $3000.
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### Author:  [@ChrisCTP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChrisCTP)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2003, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/24 "2003-11-07T20:30:13Z")
Grr…sorry for double-post. Completely non-intentional.
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### Author:  [@CrazyCatLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrazyCatLady)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2003, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/25 "2003-11-07T21:08:49Z")
> [@](#):
>
> You’ve got the right idea that you should decide what’s really important and do away with stuff that isn’t. I doubt you’re the type to get intimidated by the bridal magazines’ “You HAVE to have this and this and this!” But do get one of the magazines, just so you can laugh at it.
That is _exactly_ what I tell people about wedding planning. My usual advice is to each take a piece of paper and go sit in a quiet room, alone, and think about what really, really means something for you. Make a list of things that really are important, and another list of things that would be really nice but aren’t as important. Then get together and compare your lists. The important-stuff lists are what you focus your time, money and energy on, then if you have any left over you work on the it would be nice lists. The rest of the stuff listed in the bridal magazines? Fugeddaboutit.
Our priorities were pretty simple, for the most part: we both wanted good food and a cool setting, I wanted a beautiful, non-wedding-specific dress I could wear on other very special occasions, and I wanted my grandmother to make our cake. Oh, and he wanted to get a minister, and to have our friend Jennifer sign our license. The list of things that would be nice was longer; some of it we got around to and could afford, other stuff we didn’t.
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### Author:  [@mrbuddylee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mrbuddylee)
#### Post date: [November 7, 2003, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/26 "2003-11-07T21:49:58Z")
I should let my wife handle this one, but here goes from what I remember…
St. Louis, MO
150 guests
Dress: $600
Flowers: $800
Catering: $3300
Church rental: $200
DJ: $500
Reception at ‘The Magic House’ ([http://www.magichouse.com/](http://www.magichouse.com/)): $900
Coffee Bar: $400
7 night caribbean cruise honeymoon: $2000
Cakes: $350
Photographer ([http://www.willjackson.com/](http://www.willjackson.com/)): $2000
Limo: $500
My tux: Free.
Invitations ([http://www.liongraphics.com/SomethingDifferent/37-TF1126-151.htm](http://www.liongraphics.com/SomethingDifferent/37-TF1126-151.htm)) : $320
Wedding Program ([http://www.sandbox-creative.com](http://www.sandbox-creative.com)): Free, brother-in-law did them for us.
Groomsman gifts (money clips and mini remote controlled cars): $150
Bridesmaids gifts: $150
Rehersal Dinner: $700.
Hmm, what did I forget… Oh well, I think that covers most of it…
Total: ~ $13,000
Put the rings in there and we’re over $20K.
Still paying for all of it too, but our one year anniversary is this Sunday and while I think a private trip to tahaiti would have probably been more interesting and less expensive, I don’t really regret spending the money, it was a very nice and memorable day for us and our guests.
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### Author:  [@TruePisces](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TruePisces)
#### Post date: [November 8, 2003, 1:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/27 "2003-11-08T01:34:12Z")
Ours was semi-formal. It cost us, total, about $27,000. We invited over 300 people, though only about 200 came. A brief rundown (at least, as much as I can remember. I’m still in the after-wedding silliness.) This was in Philadelphia, PA
My dress & accessories: $850 from David’s Bridal (that includes undergarments, shoes, veil and headpiece along with the dress)
DJ, Videographer and Photographer: $3500 from The Pros (a really great deal, actually… 4 hours of DJ, 8 hours of videography and photography and we get all the negatives)
Flowers: $700
Limo: 2 limos for 4 hours, $400
Hair & make-up: $80
**Verrain’s** tux: Free
Invitations: $350
Honeymoon: $1500 ( **Verrain** has a timeshare and we used that to go to Lake Tahoe, most of the cost was getting there and things to do while we were there)
Church Rental: $200
Rings: $600 (for both of ours)
Ceremony Singers: $300
Thank You Gifts: $1000 (we had 6 bridesmaids and 6 groomsmen, plus parents and other people that were a tremendous help to us)
Rehersal Dinner: $800
Reception: $16,000 (But this included a 4 hour reception, 1 hour cocktail hour, open bar, champaign toast, ice swan, our cake, 5 course meal, our room for the night, and the best coordinator anyone could imagine.)
I’m probably forgetting odds and ends here. And a good deal of it, **Verrain’s** parents helped pay for so it’s hard to remember the exact numbers. Of course, if you’re planning on having a smaller wedding, that will help cut down on a LOT. 🙂
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### Author:  [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2003, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/28 "2003-11-10T01:37:14Z")
if you want to save money, the best way to cut down on cost is to have your flowers done in silks by a crafty acquaintance. My Mom did my flowers, and it was much cheaper and meant more than flowers ordered from a florist. I also saved some money by making a portion of the bridesmaids’ gifts (a pouch for jewelry and makeup), decorating the church myself with silks, as well as the handmade reception decorations (bride and groom teddy bears) and the birdseed roses.
We got married at the church I grew up in, so the minister fee was relatively low. We also did the premarital counseling, so that cut the cost of the license by about $50.
We shopped around for a cake, and got a good one from a lady who works for a grocery store bakery but makes cakes at her home (using a modified store recipe) for a fraction of the cost. We did a cash bar, which cuts down on cost also.
Overall, I think it was about $10K. The majority of the cost was the dress ($850 with alterations), the reception, and the video/photo/dj.
It was a year and half ago, so don’t take my word as gospel. The best place that I got information about people who provide quality services cheap was the small alteration shop I took my dress to. The large chains are just into who can give them the best kickbacks.
Good Luck!
Keep us posted!
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### Author:  [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2003, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/29 "2003-11-10T01:44:01Z")
if you want to save money, the best way to cut down on cost is to have your flowers done in silks by a crafty acquaintance. My Mom did my flowers, and it was much cheaper and meant more than flowers ordered from a florist. I also saved some money by making a portion of the bridesmaids’ gifts (a pouch for jewelry and makeup), decorating the church myself with silks, as well as the handmade reception decorations (bride and groom teddy bears) and the birdseed roses.
We got married at the church I grew up in, so the minister fee was relatively low. We also did the premarital counseling, so that cut the cost of the license by about $50.
We shopped around for a cake, and got a good one from a lady who works for a grocery store bakery but makes cakes at her home (using a modified store recipe) for a fraction of the cost. We did a cash bar, which cuts down on cost also.
Overall, I think it was about $10K. The majority of the cost was the dress ($850 with alterations), the reception, and the video/photo/dj.
It was a year and half ago, so don’t take my word as gospel. The best place that I got information about people who provide quality services cheap was the small alteration shop I took my dress to. The large chains are just into who can give them the best kickbacks.
Good Luck!
Keep us posted!
---
### Author:  [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/30 "2003-11-10T01:49:52Z")
oops! sorry for the double!
_whacks puter for being so darn slow_
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### Author:  [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2003, 2:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/31 "2003-11-10T02:06:36Z")
**DeVena** , one of the best weddings I’ve ever been to had a potluck reception. My theory is that to caterers, your wedding is just another job. No reason for them to bust their butts. But for your friends and family, hey, it’s **DeVena** ’s _wedding_! We gotta make something _good_!
Our wedding was fairly informal, but tons of fun. We spent about $6,000 and had around 60 guests, including kids. The most important things to **LeftHandofDorkness** and I were location, food/booze, and photography, so we shelled out more on those. We had a beautiful outdoor wedding in the Appalachians; spent the money on a good caterer and good beer/wine; and hired a photographer who came very highly recommended.
As for the rest, my dress, shoes, etc., cost about $120. (I didn’t buy a traditional wedding dress.)
Friends did the music for the ceremony and my brother-in-law DJed the reception.
My cousin, who has a cake decorating business, made he wedding cake as a present. **LeftHand** made the groom’s cake.
My sister-in-law made the invitations as a gift for us.
I made the bouquets myself with yellow roses from the grocery store. The rest of the flowers came from the local farmer’s market.
I heartily recommend _Weddings for Grownups_ by Caroll Stoner. It’s the only book I read which didn’t assume that you want to spend every waking moment of the next year planning The Perfect Wedding.
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### Author:  [@DaisyFace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaisyFace)
#### Post date: [November 10, 2003, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-was-your-somewhat-expensive-wedding/211817/32 "2003-11-10T04:22:16Z")
I know that my wedding was wicked expensive (compared to others in this thread), due in part to location (just north of NYC) and in part to level of class we achieved. Also, our parents paid for it (one of the many rasons they are such good people).
But, before the wedding we went to pre-marriage retreat (instead of pre-Canaa) and decided that the reception details wold take care of themselves, we wanted to put our energies into the Mass. It really sounds corny as I type it, but it worked. We ended up with a beautiful, beautiful wedding and I can still remember every detail. (I also decided beforehand that I would _not_ be one of those brides who needed everything perfect and would either have no fun or wouldn’t remember anything).
I guess the point is, sit down and work out what’s most important to you? Location? Food? Family? Ceremony? Dancing? Once you have that, put your energy there and the rest will fall into place.
Oh, and remember that’s it’s hard to fight with each other if you hold hands.
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