Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable dies of congestive heart failure after having consumed too many Jello Pudding Pops.
Darren get whiney with Andorra once too often…BOOM! Sub-atomic particles.
ENDORA, I think you mean. And she started it, at least as far as Darren I is concerned. In Darren II’s case, there’s equal fault on both sides. But in either case, the end for him comes when Samantha steps out of the shower naked on day, chances to see her own reflection, and suddenly thinks: “Wait. I am smart, magically-powerful, and ridiculously hot. Why am I with this dweeb?”
She then turns him into a cockroach and steps on him.
Jeffrey “The Dude” Lebowski kept most of his mental faculties well into his old age, which is to say that while it was not uncommon for him to be found wandering in his bathrobe in slippers at Ralph’s, or the gas station, the beach, the video store or the bowling alley, this had been common behavior for The Dude for decades, so a slight increase in confusion and a little degradation in his general awareness was little remarked-on, and was often attributed to his marijuana habit, which was undiminished by age (although by his eighties, he was more likely to misplace a roach clip now and then).
The Dude rarely saw Maude Lebowski socially, and she raised their son, Artùr, on her own. Her attitude toward men softened a bit later in life, and although the art critics did not think much of what this meant for her avant garde artwork, she was genuinely fond of “Jeffrey” and helped support what might have been called, in the parlance of our times, his underemployed lifestyle. Her considerable wealth and his considerable laziness and lack of expensive habits - bowling, marijuana, white Russians - made this easy.
The Dude met Artùr at a party held in the home of a locally renowned architect. The boy was in his 20s. The affair was black tie and champagne, so The Dude (in Bermuda shorts, sandals and a shirt that was overdue for a wash) and Artùr (wearing a feather boa, a plastc shirt, and jeans that were cut for a woman, had been run over by a bus, and pink) stood out and naturally struck up a conversation. Stoned at the time, The Dude did not realize the boy was his biological son until early the following week. They saw each other periodically at musical and artistic events. Artùr would invite The Dude to pretentious art-world events that needed to be ruined just the right way, which usually worked - although his father was occasionally mistaken for a performance artist. The Dude invited Artùr to Creedence Clearwater Revival shows and similar concerts; while Artùr didn’t care for the music, he appreciated it on the level of kitsch, and his father enjoyed being around a young person with artistic dreams, even if he didn’t quite understand what sort of art Artùr wanted to make.
Over the next two decades, Artùr saw his father’s home only a few times. The most memorable were his penultimate trip, in which he asked his white-haired father about the most important accomplishment of his life and The Dude, after mumbling about the Seattle Seven, discussed an incomprehensible caper in which he and two friends, now deceased, apparently tried to rescue the wife of Artùr’s estranged, deceased grandfather from kidnapping pornographers, although he simultaneously insisted there was no kidnapping and diverged into a long rant about eagles, and the ultimate trip. This final visit to the Dude homestead had Artùr find the body of his father in the bathtub, where, at the age of 92, The Dude had ascended to even greater levels of relaxation and inactivity and taken taking it easy to its natural conclusion, passing away peacefully in the tub, his final joint burned down to less than a nub, more of a black meteorite flake of ash, with the water long since turned cold.
The Dude’s final possessions were cleared out quickly and included little of note, but among his holdings were numerous records, eight-track tapes and CDs, with few duplications, a bowling ball kept by Maude (she said she would use it in a sculpture, but this appeared to be an excuse to display the ball prominently in her studio), many aged t-shirts which had not been preserved well enough for resale to vintage shops, a few pairs of Crocs and many other items of clothing that were simply too mundane and hideous for use as kitsch, plastic cookery, a near-empty refrigerator, a few art books and magazines with nudes in questionable taste, and on top of the VCR, a copy of a porn movie called Logjammin’. Its sequel was in the VCR. Artùr was not aware of the significance of these films and cut them up for use in a collage made in tribute to his father. Despite its deep and abiding unkemptness - some of the shelves had not been dusted since the turn of the century, if then - the house was spectacularly well-appointed with rugs. Most of Maude’s stipend had paid for these rugs. There was one in each room, and while busy, they were surprisingly tasteful compared to the Crocs, the tins of cheap American coffee and the emptied bottles of American liquor, which were piled in the corner of the kitchen and at the back of the house.
The funeral service in Venice Beach wasn’t particularly well attended because The Dude outlived most of his contemporaries. Among those who appeared were the grandchildren of the few Seattle Seven members and Port Huron statement authors who stayed faithful to the spirit of their respective movements. Their descendants attended after noting the passing of what they interpreted to be a kindred soul to their forebears. A rumor went through the crowd that one or two of the mourners had once been roadies for Metallica in the early days. A senior bowling league was well-represented, and after the service concluded, many of the mourners retired to a bowling alley.
The remains of The Dude traveled the world as part of several of Artùr’s installations over the next few decades, including being worked into gray paint in alive/dead flowers. and being used throughout his renowned mixed media piece, Hungus parts I - XII. But that came later. On that California afternoon, The Dude’s ashes were carried lazily over the Pacific. A low gust took them to the south, but at the same moment, a hot Santa Ana breeze carried part of The Dude north through the valley as it began to shimmer and turn electric and hum with the sunset, and he flew like a magic carpet rider to the entrance of Ralph’s, where an aging man named Brandt yawned, scratched his face and wondered, after his shopping was done, if he might get a nicer bathrobe before going home, and mix himself a white Russian before going to sleep.
Sam Winchester dies at the age of 72 over his morning coffee, just after calling his brother a bitch. Dean dies in his sleep that night, cause undetermined, though he isn’t found until a concerned neighbor calls the police, three days later.
Marley23, I wanted you to know that I found your post quite moving.
I think it would be more fitting if he died of Kuru but maybe that’s just too obvious.
Doctor Doom marries Silver Sable, ruler of neighboring Symkaria and continues ruling Latveria with an iron fist. In fact, 100 years later he’s still ruling it. Opinions vary as to whether Lord Doom is a Doombot, a descendant of Doom and Sable, or Doom himself kept eternally alive by his technology and magic.
Matthew Murdock isn’t quite fast enough one night, and Bullseye gets in a lucky shot. He’s killed instantly. He’s 47.
**Namor **survives well past 100. He dies in battle, as he would’ve wished. His throne is inherited by a distant cousin.
The Inhumans return to Earth, and Luna eventually inherits the throne. She never marries. Her mother Crystal and her stepfather Ronan the Accuser rule the Kree Empire, and are succeeded by their eldest son upon their deaths in the upteenth Kree-Skrull War.
Molly Hayes joins the X-Men, marries Julian Keller, has a son, and then divorces Julian. She retires to raise her son and dies of a heart attack in her 60s. Her teammate Karolina becomes Galactus’ Herald to save her lover Xavin and the remaining Majesdanians. **Nico **marries Eli Bradley of the Young Avengers, but they slowly grow apart and divorce. She becomes Sorceress Supreme of Earth and dies battling extradimensional invaders. In her death throes, she screams for Karolina. She’s 41 years old.
Chase Stein gets the time portico up and running and disappears, never to be heard from again. Victor Mancha’s programming goes rogue and Nico casts a spell on him rendering him inert. He’s sent to the bottom of the ocean, is found 90 years later by scientists, reactivated, and cured. He’s the last survivor of his team.
**Wiccan **could have been Sorcerer Supreme, but gave up the position to go into deep space with Teddy Altman, who ascends as Emperor Theodore I of the Skrull Empire. They have two bio-engineered children they barely spend time with because they’re too busy fighting off constant threats from the Kree, the Shi’ar, and the Negative Zone. They’re both killed fighting Galactus, and in the process mortally wound **Karolina **as well. Xavin, who had served the emperor as loyal bodyguard is overwhelmed with grief and commits suicide.
Elijah Bradley takes on the mantle of Captain America after **Bucky **is killed fighting neo-nazis. He is outstanding and leads the Avengers for over 20 years. He’s married to Nico for almost a decade, but the Super-Soldier Serum leaves him sterile and they never have children. When he’s killed in a terrorist attack on a SHIELD helicarrier, his will leaves everything to his godson, Scott Lang. Cassie Lang, aka Stature, got pregnant with Scott at 19 during a wild affair with her first love, Iron Lad. He abandoned her and returned to the future to become Kang. Heartbroken, she became a full-time Avenger and mother and died of a massive heart attack in her 40s. **Jonas **mourns her for decades afterward. He’s ultimately destroyed shielding Scott from Kang’s murderous rampage.
Kate Bishop married Clint Barton and they had two daughters. They’re active Avengers until Clint gets cancer. Clint dies at 50. Three years later, Kate marries Tommy Shepherd. They have one son before Kate’s own death 20 years later. This leaves Tommy as the last surviving Young Avenger. He retires and lives out his final years peacefully. He’s almost 88 when he dies in his sleep.
Tony Stark dies alone at age 65. An autopsy reveals he’s a techno-grotesquerie on the inside. A few remaining friends and teammates attend the funeral.