# How will the Tea Party spin the CT shooting? **URL:** \ **Category:** Politics & Elections\ **Created:** [December 15, 2012, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098 "2012-12-15T07:26:29Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/101 "2012-12-20T17:29:28Z")
> [@BrainGlutton](#): > > The proud stalwarts of the Tea Party > Have lusts that are hearty but naughty > Such as offering their sacks > As mid-morning snacks > To all and to sundry! How haughty! Win!!\*\* BG,\*\* I hereby nominate you for Grand Exalted Limerick Master of the Straight Dope! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/102 "2012-12-20T18:10:30Z")
> [@SeldomSeen](#): > > Win!!\*\* BG,\*\* I hereby nominate you for Grand Exalted Limerick Master of the Straight Dope! :bows: Oh, I have man- well, several! It is a verse cycle I call “Comparative Political Ideologies 101”: A Republican man-about-town Could make a smile vertical frown For, at finish, the heel Always made the girl kneel And let all the wealth trickle down! A Democrat is well suited to diddle In the sense that he’s . . . straight-up-the-middle But, 'tween left and right hand He can ne’er . . . make a stand At the end, can just sit there and twiddle! Socialists like to share their virility But it brings social costs in fertility For, “To each by her need!” Is their true solemn creed, But the sharing wears out the ability! When an Anarchist’s out of her clothes Make no mention of rules to impose As to what’s hot or not Or, what tab fits what slot – She will make it all up as she goes! The proud stalwarts of the Tea Party Have lusts that are hearty but naughty Such as offering their sacks As mid-morning snacks To all and to sundry! How haughty! Although Fascists might seethe, rant, and hate You can still, if you’ll dangle the bait Have 'em your way, and then some If but once you convince 'em It is all for the good of the State! An Objectivist Atlas will shrug When the ladies won’t go past a hug Self-reliant as Rand Is his own nimble hand On his Fountainhead ready to tug! A Minuteman was a staunch, fearless warder 'Gainst the Brown Peril south of the border 'Til a boom-chicka chica From south Costa Rica Sucked him into a whole New World Order! The bold ladies who camp with the OWSers Are no puritanical wowsers One can’t walk up Wall Street Without hearing them tweet, “Why, what’s that occupying your trousers?!” A lascivious thing is a Green Every tree, every shrub, every bean Every beast classed “Endangered” And life-forms far stranger Must endure his attentions obscene! A theocon’s holy and pious But it seems that his judgment is biased By his mind filled with floods Of the cries of hung studs: “Come into the closet and try us!” Libertarians swing and they play You can use them most any which way Straight, gay, trans, or bi Or whatever you’ll try All while shouting, “For freedom! Hooray!” As the editor said to the censor, "\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* amends, sir! "\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* "Shove\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* “\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\*\* and denser!” ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 6:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/103 "2012-12-20T18:44:59Z")
Annnnd…[more fun opinions on on the Newtown tragedy.](http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/335996/newtown-answers-nro-symposium) ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/104 "2012-12-20T19:49:18Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > Annnnd…[more fun opinions on on the Newtown tragedy.](http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/335996/newtown-answers-nro-symposium) [Already Pitted.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=676154) ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [December 20, 2012, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/105 "2012-12-20T21:39:41Z")
_shakes fist_ Gluttooooon! ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/106 "2012-12-21T00:03:28Z")
> [@Love\_Rhombus](#): > > _shakes fist_ Gluttooooon! Is it [Sgt. Carter]Gluttooooon![/Sgt. Carter], or [Captain Kirk]Gluttooooon![/Captain Kirk]? ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [December 21, 2012, 12:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/107 "2012-12-21T12:07:29Z")
Wish I’d learnt politics in limerick form! ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098/108 "2012-12-22T07:20:54Z")
> [@gamerunknown](#): > > Wish I’d learnt politics in limerick form! Start with [_Travesties._](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Travesties) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-will-the-tea-party-spin-the-ct-shooting/644098.md?page=5)