Memorize this series:
Repeat it at any opportunity. Not only will you be mistakenly identified as Canadian, the listener will probably be able to narrow it to prvoince. Fershurman. Rightarm!
This is a gimme. I won’t give away the answer, but you’re MY BROTHER.
Another vote for the Maple Leaf conspicuously displated on a backback or duffel. Everywhere you go, Canadians are sporting these, and it’s clearly meant to indicate “I am not one of those fucking asshole Americans”.
Not that I can blame them…
Or:
I went to get a two-four of Boh at the Liquor Board Store, but I forgot to plug in my truck and it wouldn’t start.
Or:
I put on my bunny-hug, toque and mukluks to go cash my pogey cheque.
I’m sure things have changed, but back when I was travelling through Europe (70’s and early 80’s) the worst anti-Americans I met were - Canadians! Oh, not to your face, but whenever I overheard them talking to other Europeans who would mistaken them for “Americans”, I would hear the riot act and a not-so-short list of all things bad about the USA.
That said, I wouldn’t pretend to be Canadian while travelling world-wide. I wouldn’t exactly wear an American flag on my back either but I think most people know that half of the US is not brain dead.
It is a funny, and profitable, gimmick that they are selling - but unless you are maybe gonna backpack through Kabul on your way to Baghdad, I don’t think you really need the kit.
I get the rest of these tips, but not this part. Whyso?
Once again, NO NO NO…a maple leaf says “I’m a spineless American who’s enough of an asshole to appropriate another country’s national symbol just to avoid a couple of snippy comments about Bush”. I’m happy to be quiet in certain situations (between Glaswegian friends and Irish relatives I’ve had plenty of times to shut-the-fuck-up), but parading a fictitious identity is insulting to everybody involved.
Mmm. Well, OK, but I was simply trying to assist the OP by answering the question. I’ve seen loads of real, living, breathing Canadians in places as far apart as Aukland and Zermat wearing the Maple Leaf, and avoiding any semblance of USA citizenship like the bloody plague. Not only that, if they recognized me as one from the 'States, they would avoid eye contact and march in the other direction as quickly but inconspicuously as possible. When I studied abroad in Ireland, it was during the 1st Gulf War; when I traveled in New Zealand, it was during the 2nd. There appears to be virtually no questioning what’s going on with the Maple Leaf Patch, and if any of those folks sporting it and looking away furtively were Americans in disguise, they fooled the hell out of me.
Oh lord! I’m a Canadian!
I’ve tried to figure out the “why” of it a bunch of times. I definitely noticed that glasses are more common in Canada and Europe, especially among my age group (born in the 70s). I’m not sure if it’s
…or some reason that’s hidden from me by my American cultural biases.
I don’t really know the root cause – but it’s worked for me. I have noticed that Brits and Germans also tend to dress in a very 1970s “dorky” sort of fashion, which is, I think, why the khakis-and-a-polo makes you blend in. If you only pack and wear things that someone from 1977 would wear (e.g. low-top sneakers like the “new retro” Adidas shoes) you’ll probably be in good shape. And of course, you only have to get by on your looks for a day or two before you have enough data points to realize what locals do and don’t wear.
One last tip: Avoid football jerseys from the local team unless you know how they’ve done recently, and are certain you’ll be in “friendly” territory for your stay. Just like certain sports in certain places here in the States, sometimes a shirt is akin to a political/religious statement. It simply wouldn’t do to wear an Arsenal jersey into a pub where Tottenham fans stop in for a pint after work. It might not get you beaten up, but it won’t earn you many friends, either. Imagine a Brit trying to appear American, and wearing a Yankees jersey (maybe even an A-Rod jersey) into a bar in Southie, Boston, just as the welders are getting off their shift. :eek:
Your bank must be pretty close by, cuz if you’ve gotta put on a toque and mukluks, that bunny hug isn’t going to be warm enough. Unless maybe it’s one of those great extra thick U of S bunny hugs.
As a travelling Canuck, I’ve never worn a maple leaf. Real Canadians don’t wear 'em, but rely on other secret symbols and glyphs to be known to the citizenry.
OK, OK, I got everything but the word ‘pogey’. 
EI (Employment Insurance), formerly UI (Unemployment Insurance) - name changed for silly bureaucratic reasons that need not be gone into. Informally known as pogey.
Pogey is unemployment benefits. If you’re collecting unemployment insurance, or one of the various special programs for people in the fishing industry, you’re collecting pogey.
And God, don’t say “Aboot.” “Aboot” is what someone says when they AREN’T Canadian and are trying to imitate one. Nobody in Canada says “aboot.”
On the other hand, try these:
When referring to the part of a house that sits on top and keeps the rain out, if you want to say “Ruff,” don’t. Say “roof.”
Refer to the area in your house by the front door as a “foy-AAA,” not a “FOY-err.”
When describing the white cold stuff that falls out of the sky, do not say “sneauw” like they do in Missouri. Say “snow,” short and clipped.
The large city on the western end of Lake Ontario is not “Toronto.” It is “Trawna.”
Do not say “probably.” Say “probly.”
“During” should be pronounced “juring.”
Never, ever say “eh.” Again, that’s just telling anyone you’re pretending.
Or “hoser.” Canadians NEVER said this. Oh, and we usually don’t eat “backbacon,” we eat the regular bacon. These are simply traps we have set up to expose pretenders.
Do by all means say that when you were getting somewhere fast, you were “givin’ er” or “bootin” or “bootin it.”
It’s “pop,” not “soda.”
Be careful… you might be mistaken as an american if those secret stuff don’t work !! Canadians to many foreigners LOOK a lot like americans… even if they don’t talk or act like them as much.
jeez… forgot to mention
If your an american not willing to pass by as a canadian… my suggestion is buy a “I hate Bush” T-Shirt… or a Bush foto with an X on top. That should make your political allegiance quite clear. So instead of fearing people … you will be warmly greeted and get a lot of new friends.
Once your defined as an anti-Bush american you should expect friendly smiles and naturally a few condolences for the election lost.
Now if your a pro-Bush red state redneck… by all means do wear the stars and stripes all over your gear and T-Shirt. Do mention that Bush will be a better world government than the UN… 
Uhm…sweetie…you can buy those shirts anywhere around here, and I’m in the second-largest city in America.
Besides, I would hiope Canucks would be far too polite to buy such shirts. Even us Dems might be put out to see a foreigner wearing something maligning our head of government. Anyone wearing such a shirt would by definition NOT be a Canadian to me.
I think people have forgotten something–there’s ten times as many Americans as Canadians to begin with, so that person with the non-Brit English speech is probably a Yank just by odds alone. Most of the Canadians I know can’t afford trips abroad either, just like Americans, so it’s not like there’s more of them out and about. It’s not like Australians or something, who all seem to have enough money to gallivant around the world. </jealous>
And oh yeah, my Canuck relatives DO use ‘eh’ a lot, but they’re in the Maritimes. Maybe it’s a regional thing.
All Canadians insist they never say “eh”. In my experience, a lot of them actually do, though it may be a regional thing.