# How would you alter your body if you could? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 15, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024 "2010-02-15T02:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/21 "2010-02-15T05:23:44Z")
My teeth have been an issue my whole life, given I was born with weak enamel (one of the milder forms of amelogenesis imperfecta) and _then_ was given tetracycline as a small child, so I’d love to have them all magically replaced with a perfect set. Being two inches taller might be nice too. Oh, and I’d to reprogram my immune system, _without_ using parasites, so it stops having allergic reactions to harmless plant stuff. ---
**Author:** ![alphaboi867](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alphaboi867/32/3898_2.png) [@alphaboi867](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alphaboi867)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/22 "2010-02-15T05:44:04Z")
I’d prefer a mesomorphic body type. Much less body hair. I happy with the size of my penis, but I wish I wasn’t circumcised. ---
**Author:** ![Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@Sleeps\_With\_Butterflies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sleeps_With_Butterflies)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/23 "2010-02-15T06:42:16Z")
I’d like to be about 5’5" ---
**Author:** ![Kayeby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9de0a6/32.png) [@Kayeby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kayeby)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/24 "2010-02-15T07:24:55Z")
Longer legs. I have short legs and need to get all my pants taken up - at least the attractiveness of long legs would make up for the hassle of buying pants that fit. Plus another couple of inches of leg (in the shin, not the femur please) would bring me to 5’4" or 5’5". Also flawless skin - mine is good, but my cousin has incredible skin. Glowing, without a single blemish, and so unnaturally perfect it looks almost Photoshopped. Actually, in general I would like skin that doesn’t scar easily. I have cat scratches on my arm that are years old. I’d also remove a raised scar on my left knee that makes me self-conscious about wearing shorts and short skirts. And I wouldn’t say no to long, naturally curly eyelashes. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 8:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/25 "2010-02-15T08:30:45Z")
Huge pectoral muscles…and steel teeth, like “Jaws.” ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 9:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/26 "2010-02-15T09:19:01Z")
Eyes that work properly - I am longsighted with a slight squint and a lazy left eye. I might still wear glasses just for show, but it would be nice not to have to. Teeth that don’t go wrong. Made of solid diamond or sapphire or some high-tech ceramic material comparatively impervious to damage. Do they even \*need \*a nerve in the middle of them? Posture - my right shoulder is lower than my left - not sure why - it was not always so. I have quite an upright stance (front to back, that is) - I’d just like to be a bit less lopsided. Moles. I have them everywhere. I wouldn’t be even slightly sad if they all completely disappeared. And if we’re allowed to ask for anything at all, I’d like the ability to switch the growth of my beard off and on at will. Not bothered about my male-pattern baldness, don’t particularly care for larger genitals. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 9:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/27 "2010-02-15T09:26:34Z")
Aside from fixing my ACL I’d really like to not have hair anymore. It’s useless and I wouldn’t miss it at all. ---
**Author:** ![Jragon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e19b73/32.png) [@Jragon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jragon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 9:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/28 "2010-02-15T09:35:56Z")
I suppose my hair, I have light-blonde, fine, thinnish hair. I can’t really do anything with it, most people I’ve met can’t even braid it (I can pull off the Edward Elric look okay, but nobody I know can make a braid stick, I’ve met exactly one person who has made it work). For less serious, I seriously want silver or snow-white hair, not gray, either that shiny Animesque silver or just pure white. Yellow or red eyes would be cool too. ---
**Author:** ![Torpor\_Beast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/71e660/32.png) [@Torpor\_Beast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Torpor_Beast)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/29 "2010-02-15T09:45:11Z")
I’d like to get rid of my flabby stomach. I was a fat kid, and the loose skin is still there after me changing my lifestyle completely in my late teens. No amount of hours in the gym seem to get rid of it. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 10:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/30 "2010-02-15T10:20:58Z")
Oh, and I’d like to be able to fire laser beams out of my fingertips. ---
**Author:** ![ducati](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/cc9497/32.png) [@ducati](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ducati)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/31 "2010-02-15T10:22:09Z")
I want to be tall is all. 6’6" or so. I’ve already got the weight. 5’8" is too short to impress females, intimidate men, or reach the top cabinets in the kitchen. Dad: 6’4’’ Mom: 6’0" Sis: 6’5" Sis: 6’6" Yes, I was adopted by Amazons. ---
**Author:** ![Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/malleus_incus_stapes/32/3293_2.png) [@Malleus\_Incus\_Stapes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malleus_Incus_Stapes)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/32 "2010-02-15T15:23:35Z")
Health-wise… well, I have so many problems I won’t deal with them now. Cosmetically, I pretty much like the way I look. I’d love to have black hair, though. ---
**Author:** ![fluiddruid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/c2a13f/32.png) [@fluiddruid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fluiddruid)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/33 "2010-02-15T15:30:23Z")
If I could pick _anything_ I chose? Why stick with boring old vanilla human? Hell, of course I’d lose the flab and the glasses, but why stop there? I’d love to be creative and be some giant anthropomorphic animal or give myself angel wings or something (if they’d be functional). I’d have to think about it if it was a one-time choice, but I’d definitely go with some major changes. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/34 "2010-02-15T15:45:28Z")
Well, first of all, my kidneys wouldn’t suck any more. Well, kidney (singular) really, since the right one sucked _so much_ I had it out months ago! Then, on the this-doesn’t-even-seem-fair list, I’d have this huge hernia taken away. I had weight loss surgery three and a half years ago, and it was very successful, lost 150lbs, happy with my appearance; then a hysterectomy became necessary (oh and did I mention I’d already had three C-sections before the WLS?); turns out I was allergic to the sutures the doc used when she did my hysterectomy, had to have _yet another_ surgery to dig all those stitches out! With all this abdominal surgery, I’ve developed a _huge_ hernia. Seriously, more than two years post-hysterectomy, I walk around looking like I’m 6 months pregnant! Ugh! After all I went through to lose the weight! Guess what? It’s gonna take another surgery to get rid of that damned hernia, so I can wear my jeans again! Then there’s this: my husband has ultra-thick, luxuriously curly, almost-black hair; where it _is_ graying, it’s going a nice distinguished shade of silvery white. My hair? Fine, thin, limp, battleship gray when I don’t dye it often enough. He has long, thick dark eyelashes. Mine? thin, sparse, hardly there. He has veins that make heroin addicts multi-orgasmic. How often does he need bloodwork/IV’s? One IV in his entire life (he’s 50), bloodwork every six months. My veins? Nearly impossible to find; roll like a mad bastard when you _do_ find them, and I end up with probably 4-6IV’s a year for the past ten years. Out of all that, you’d think I could at least have my pick of: his good hair, his good eyelashes, or his good veins (even just a couple of 'em!) Of course, if my sole remaining kidney would stop sucking, the good veins wouldn’t be so important, because kidney trouble is what usually lands me in the hospital. While I’m at it, can I have bigger boobs, too?😉 ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/35 "2010-02-15T15:50:48Z")
Antlers would be pretty damn cool too. I’d probably choose fairly small ones. ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/36 "2010-02-15T16:04:06Z")
The thing I’ve wanted all my life: Bigger boobs. A B cup would be great, but you know, I think I deserve an A cup at the very least! I’m 39 years old, for fuck’s sake. Better eyes and teeth, sure. More chin and less fat pouch underneath it. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/37 "2010-02-15T16:16:08Z")
The one thing I’ve always been self-conscious of is the one thing I’m working on - getting my trunk more toned. I don’t like my stomach area - and now I seem to be building a small roll above that (coincidentally, it seems to support my 39 year old boobs that are starting to droop a bit more) I’ve never minded my naturally big boobs even though they mean I’ll some day have to roll them up from the floor. I just hate that the thing I enjoy most about me is immediately followed by the thing I like least about me . . .keeps me more humble, I guess. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/38 "2010-02-15T16:23:19Z")
1. No more migraines. 1a. No more trigeminal neuralgia. 2. Good skin. 3. Perfect teeth. ---
**Author:** ![runcible\_spoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9fc29f/32.png) [@runcible\_spoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/runcible_spoon)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/39 "2010-02-15T17:02:15Z")
1: Prehensile Toes 2: Octopus Arms 3: Gills ---
**Author:** ![Chessic\_Sense](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7c8e57/32.png) [@Chessic\_Sense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chessic_Sense)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/40 "2010-02-15T17:04:10Z")
1. Be 5’11" or so. 2. Look less Polish and more lower-latitude European. IOW, shrink my nose, forehead, ears, and darken my skin. Spanish or Italian would do. 3. Whatever it is that’s giving me tendonitis (RA?), I want that to go away. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024.md?page=3)