# How would you alter your body if you could? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 15, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024 "2010-02-15T02:07:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/41 "2010-02-15T17:14:16Z")
I want grey eyes. I don’t know why but I’ve always had this obsession with eye colors other than brown and I’ve always wanted grey eyes. My fiancee has bright, green eyes (I hate her ) so there is a tiny chance our kids might get them. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/42 "2010-02-15T19:55:07Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > What’s the belle curve for penis size, then? OK, I researched this briefly and came up with results that surprised me. According to Wiki’s article on human penis size, the fifty-percentile erect length is about 5 3/4 inches. Only about 10% of the measured penises (penii?) exceeded 6 7/8 inches. So apparently “average” is a lot smaller then I’d thought. ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/43 "2010-02-15T20:04:13Z")
Ok, tabulating the results so far, the most common desired body changes seem to be, in rough order:[ul][_]better teeth[_]better eyes[_]better skin[_]taller[_]better hair[_]less fat[_]better health and other non-cosmetic changes[_]more muscularexotic/sexual/other[/ul] ---
**Author:** ![Stratocaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/stratocaster/32/16393_2.png) [@Stratocaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stratocaster)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/44 "2010-02-15T20:17:53Z")
I would make my body cancer-proof. Or at least have all lingering cancerous or pre-cancerous bits “cured,” eliminating the effect of years of bad habits. I would have a metabolism that made made it easy to maintain an ideal body weight while eating two or three times as much as I currently do. I would make it way easier to gain muscle mass. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/45 "2010-02-15T20:31:09Z")
No generalized anxiety disorder. Perfect vision, teeth and tummy. ---
**Author:** ![maladroit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f475e1/32.png) [@maladroit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maladroit)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/46 "2010-02-15T20:34:22Z")
More chin less nose for me please. ---
**Author:** ![Infovore](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/infovore/32/420_2.png) [@Infovore](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Infovore)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/47 "2010-02-15T20:39:17Z")
I would make a few changes to make myself look more androgynous. I’d be a lot thinner (with a metabolism that made it so I didn’t have to worry about gaining a lot of weight), very small bust, stronger jawline/chin (I was cursed my family’s hereditary weak chin, which I hate). I’m basically pretty okay with most of my parts, I just want to look more gender-neutral. Think Annie Lennox in “Sweet Dreams Are Made of This” or Julie Andrews in “Victor/Victoria.” 🙂 I’m really nearsighted and wouldn’t mind fixing that, but contacts work and I’m used to them, so the above changes are more important to me. ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/48 "2010-02-15T21:10:35Z")
I would order myself a new butt if I could. One that you could bounce a quarter off of. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2010, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/49 "2010-02-15T22:39:22Z")
I would like to have “six-pack” abdominal muscles. in spite of daily torture (crunches), I still have too much abdominal fat. Would liposuction work?:dubious: ---
**Author:** ![carlb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carlb/32/5930_2.png) [@carlb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carlb)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/50 "2010-02-16T00:10:49Z")
Yay, I’ve got one that hasn’t been mentioned yet! I’d get my [pectus excavatum](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pectus_excavatum) corrected (note: my case is not nearly as severe as the picture on the Wikipedia page). It’s not serious enough that it _needs_ to be corrected, so I haven’t done it. Any option involves surgery, and since I have been assured by multiple physicians that my case would be a purely cosmetic one, it seems like a waste of money. It would be nice to have a semi-normal looking chest, though. If I get a second choice, I’d have my spine straightened out. I’ve got a slight case of scoliosis, and I’m a little hyperlordotic, but again, nothing that’s causing a medical problem. The scoliosis isn’t really noticeable unless you’re really looking for it (my right shoulder is a bit lower than my left), but the hyperlordosis, in combination with the sunken breast bone, makes me look like I’ve got more of a belly than I really do. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/51 "2010-02-16T01:08:35Z")
Two words: bionic knees. At least knees that don’t hurt. There’s plenty of other stuff that would be an improvement, but I have to prioritize, here. It’s the knees. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/52 "2010-02-16T01:12:05Z")
How did I forget to put my screwed up finger at the top of my list? I’d like a new knuckle in my left index finger. At the moment I live with extreme, nearly debilitating pain from an entirely destroyed knuckle. ---
**Author:** ![TheTerribleTako](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ba8739/32.png) [@TheTerribleTako](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TheTerribleTako)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/53 "2010-02-16T01:23:15Z")
I’d like to have 20/20 vision in both eyes. I only have that in one eye right now and about 300/20 with the other one. Less hair on my arms would be nice as would the eradication of all those moles all over my face and body- they’re not that noticeable, but it just bugs me to no end. The stretch marks on my back from that growth spurt in 6th grade can go too. Oh, and less sensitive skin overall. I hate that I get acne on my chin and hive up for no good reason all the time. Right now, I’d like my left foot to stop hurting so I can start running again. But overall, I’m pretty happy with my body. I used to hate that my boobs were so small, but now I appreciate not having to lug around those extra weight, plus, no sagging. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/54 "2010-02-16T01:33:39Z")
There is literally no part of my body that I like; if I could, I’d replace everything. Just the medical issues alone would require a total overhaul: diabetes, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, painful knees, cataracts . . . and others. Fortunately, this has nothing to do with self-esteem or self-worth. And my partner loves me the way I am, so who’s complaining? ---
**Author:** ![vivalostwages](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/d07c76/32.png) [@vivalostwages](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vivalostwages)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/55 "2010-02-16T03:02:05Z")
Get rid of some abdominal fat and thigh fat. Reduce my nose and enhance my chin. Straighten my crooked…philtrum? Septum? Whatever it is that makes one nostril narrower than the other because the thing that separates it is so crooked. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/56 "2010-02-16T13:58:50Z")
> [@vivalostwages](#): > > Reduce my nose and enhance my chin. You sound like an acquaintance of mine; his nickname is “toucan.” ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/57 "2010-02-16T14:08:32Z")
My body hurts in way too many places. I would alter that. I would like to be thinner, but am already working on that. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/58 "2010-02-16T14:15:11Z")
Yes, I forgot about the sensitive skin. ---
**Author:** ![dragoncat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@dragoncat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragoncat)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/59 "2010-02-16T20:44:34Z")
I forgot to mention I’d like to be able to smell!!! For real here! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2010, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024/60 "2010-02-16T20:58:57Z")
I’m damn lucky. My health is very good (I’m young though), everything is working as it should with no pain, and I’m conventionally attractive. To be completely satisfied I’d add about 15 lbs all over, make my boobs a little bit bigger proportionately (but still on the small side), and make my face a bit wider. A few months ago I would have added ‘cure acne’ but I already did that on my own! Looking at most of the responses on this thread, that makes me feel worthlessly shallow (and again, damn lucky). I wish so many of you weren’t in chronic pain and having other health issues. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/how-would-you-alter-your-body-if-you-could/529024.md?page=4)